The Even Stevens Novel
by Chestyr
Summary: COMPLETE! 2104 Louis, Ren, Twitty, Tom, and Tawny are in high school and must face challenging issues like friendship, break-ups, pregnancy, and college.
1. Author's Note

Author's Note  
  
In this story you will see many familiar themes if you've read my other Even Stevens fanfiction. I experimented with different situations in my previous stories in order to try to put together an ideal life situation for the Even Stevens characters in this novel. I will be posting this story in pieces, and while I appreciate any suggestions you may have for me in your comments, unfortunately I am unable to change anything within the story because I already wrote the whole thing. Thank you for your consideration. 


	2. Chapter One

"Can't get out of my bed (I know the feeling) Alarm clock next to my head (A ring-a-ding-a-ling) Want to sleep instead of dealing with school Hit the snooze button twice (It's way too early) Shower's cold as ice (Ch-ch-ch-chilly) Spilled my crispy rice That's so uncool  
  
"Ruined my skirt And my feet kind of hurt 'Cause I'm wearing two left shoes (Wearing two left shoes) Got a new zit but I ain't gonna quit I know how beat these blues I just close my eyes and say  
  
"Another perfect day And all my troubles just go away Another perfect day Another perfect day  
  
"My schoolwork resembles a mountain (That's way up high) My hair is all wet from the fountain And it may never dry (Never dry)  
  
"Another perfect day And all my troubles just go away Another perfect day Another perfect day  
  
"Saturday's come at last (And I deserve it) Going to have a blast (Oh how I love it) Hit the mall with my friends And we'll chill all day Then we'll surf at the beach (The ground is sandy) Swim as far as we can reach (Lose sight of land-y) Splashing in the waves No work and all play  
  
"Monday will come It'll be such a bum And back to the classroom I'll go (To the class I'll go) But you know what I'm not stuck in a rut 'Cause now I've become a pro I'll just sit right back now and say  
  
"Another perfect day And all my troubles just go away Another perfect day Another perfect day  
  
"Another perfect day And all my troubles just go away Another perfect day Another perfect, perfect, perfect day (Another perfect, perfect, perfect day) Another perfect Day! Hey! Hey!"  
  
"What are you doing?"  
Tawny leaned over the back of the couch and wrapped her arms loosely around Louis' neck.  
Louis motioned to the TV screen with the remote control in his hand. "Remember back in seventh or eighth grade when we had that band with Twitty and Ren?"  
Tawny chuckled and sat down beside Louis. "Oh, my gosh, look at my hair. I was such a dork."  
"No you weren't babe. You were always beautiful." Louis slid his arm behind Tawny's neck and kissed her on the cheek.  
"We were really good, actually," Tawny observed as the tape flashed footage of Ren strutting across Lawrence Junior High's roof, articulating the lyrics to the Twitty Stevens Connection's "hit song." "Hey, didn't Tom film this thing?"  
"Yeah, yeah, he did," said Louis.  
Ren stomped down the stairs into the kitchen and angrily pulled open the refrigerator. She removed a jar of cottage cheese and sat down on the overstuffed chair adjacent to the couch.  
"Hey, what's up, sis?" Louis asked.  
"Yeah, Ren, you look kind of tense," said Tawny.  
"I'm just angry about homecoming," Ren replied. A senior at Historic East Sacramento High School, known as HESHS to its student body, Ren was an active member of student council and just about every other organization sponsored by the school. "Other high schools booked every other Saturday of the month so we're stuck with Halloween night."  
"So? It's not like most high schoolers trick-or-treat anyways," said Louis.  
"It's anyway, and I don't care that it's on Halloween, I just care that it's a Halloween theme," Ren clarified.  
"Are you serious?" Tawny laughed.  
"Yeah. We're going to be dancing under plastic spider webs!" Ren jabbed her fork into her cottage cheese and stuffed a huge portion into her mouth.  
"I'm not going," said Tawny.  
"Neither am I," said Louis.  
"So what are you two going to be doing?" Ren asked them.  
Louis and Tawny glanced back and forth between one another and shrugged.  
"You're not doing anything special on homecoming night?"  
"It's just homecoming, Ren," said Tawny.  
Neither Louis nor Tawny was ready to make the commitment of being in a formal relationship yet, even though they had really been in one informally ever since inadvertently expressing their mutual love three years ago, in eighth grade.  
"Ugh, I have so much homework. I shouldn't even be doing this," Ren grumbled, replacing the top on the cottage cheese container.  
"Eating?" said Louis.  
"Yes," Ren told him as she dumped her fork in the dishwasher. "I should be filling out college applications, writing an English essay, doing community service for NHS, and planning for our stupid homecoming dance."  
"Okay, Ren, settle down. This stress isn't good for you," said Tawny.  
Ren rolled her eyes as the phone rang. "Is Mom home?"  
"No, she's been gone for a half hour," Louis told her.  
Ren sighed and picked up the kitchen phone. "Hello? Oh, hey, Ruby. Yeah, just a second." Ren carried the cordless phone up to her room and kicked her bedroom door closed behind her. "What's up?" She flounced onto her bed and shifted into a comfortable position.  
"You are not going to believe this," Ruby gushed from the other end of the line, "but I have an amazing opportunity for you."  
Ren glanced at her wall schedule and said, "It had better not take up more than two and a half hours per week."  
"No, Ren, trust me, you totally won't be able to pass this up."  
"Ruby, you sound a little muffled," Ren commented.  
"I'm trying to paint my toe nails, hang on a sec." A shuffling noise emanated from the phone's mouthpiece and Ren sighed good-naturedly. Ruby had always been preoccupied with fashion and gossip. Ren didn't know how she fit those activities into her schedule and still got good grades. "Okay, Ren, I'm back on the line. Are you still there?"  
"I'm here," said Ren.  
"Okay, well. You know how my mom's been trying to open her own beauty shop? Well, she found a place!"  
"Oh, wow, congratulations to your mom," said Ren. She opened her English textbook on her lap and ruffled through the pages.  
"Yeah, well, here's the best part. My mom wants you and Monique and me to work there on the weekends!"  
"Oh, Ruby, I don't know if I can," said Ren.  
"You have to, Ren. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. Do you know how good this is going to look on your resume?"  
Ren couldn't help laughing at her friend's overenthusiastic nature. "Why would this look better on my resume than any other job?"  
"Because my mom is going to give us all the title of 'assistant manager'," Ruby explained. "And the pay, oh my God, it's so high. You will not believe it when I tell you."  
Ren rolled her eyes. "Tell me, Ruby."  
"Twelve dollars an hour. Are you not passed out right about now?"  
"Wow," Ren gasped. "Wow, yeah, that is pretty good pay."  
"And Ren, it would only be for like five hours a day on Saturday and Sunday. I'm sure you could squeeze it in. Come on, Ren," Ruby begged. "We hardly ever see each other anymore. It would be fun."  
"I'll think about it," Ren promised.  
"You're a doll!" Ruby exclaimed. "Okay, I'm sure I interrupted you doing homework like a good girl, so I'm going to call Monique now."  
"See you at school tomorrow," said Ren.  
"See you!"  
Ren clicked off the phone and threw it to the foot of her bed, then rolled her shoulders forward and shook out her head, trying to clear her mind so she could study. She had only read the first two words of her assignment when a knock sounded at her door.  
"Ren, it's us," came Louis' voice from the hallway.  
"Louis, I really have to do homework right now," Ren groaned.  
"We need you to help us decide something," said Louis.  
"Ask someone else!"  
"Louis, this is stupid," Tawny told Louis. "Let's go downstairs and leave Ren alone. She needs to study."  
Louis followed Tawny back down the stairs and spread the two Halloween costumes he had been carrying under his arm over the back of the living room couch. "Which one do you think I should be?"  
"I think you should be yourself, Louis. I mean, Halloween is just an excuse to disguise who you really are and try to be something you'll never be."  
"Thank you, Dr. Dean. Anyways, you act," Louis pointed out.  
"Well, yeah, but theater is an expression of art," said Tawny.  
"Come on, if you dressed up for Halloween what would you be?" Louis prodded.  
"I'd be a girl writing an essay. Because I have an essay due the Monday after homecoming," said Tawny. She glanced at the Stevens' digital clock. "And I'm supposed to be doing it now."  
"I have an essay tomorrow and I haven't even started yet." Louis sat down on the couch and put his feet up on the table in front of the TV. He plucked half of an old potato chip from the couch's crevice and popped it in his mouth.  
"That's disgusting," Tawny told him.  
"So what'll it be, the plastic surgeon pig doctor or a pregnant nun?"  
"Louis." Tawny switched off the TV and turned Louis' head around so he could look into her eyes. "You really need to start taking schoolwork seriously."  
"Why? I'm going to be a stand-up comedian."  
"You need to go to college first," said Tawny.  
"Why?"  
Tawny sighed. "Because no one's going to take you seriously if you don't have a degree, and if you don't even try."  
"Tawny." Louis scooted onto his knees and rested his arms on the back of the couch. "Everyone takes life too seriously. We all need a little comedy in our lives. That's why I'm going to entertain people and teach them that not all successful people go to college."  
"Yeah, well, you'll regret it later," Tawny told him.  
"Could we not talk about this right now? We're not even supposed to be thinking about college for another year." Louis flicked the TV back on and turned back around.  
"Fine. I have to go home," said Tawny. "I'll see you at school tomorrow." 


	3. Chapter Two

Ren made her way down the halls of Historic East Sacramento High School toward her locker. The school was massive and known for its excellent reputation. Lawrence Junior High was a feeder school to HESHS, but kids from other districts had to go through a tedious application process to even get into the school. Ren's daily schedule included four "Cognitive" classes, which were like honors classes only harder. She had spent the majority of the previous night typing her English essay.  
"Hey, Ren."  
Ren whirled around, slamming her locker shut, and stood face-to-face with her boyfriend, Travis Gresham. "Oh, hi, Travis."  
"What's going on?" Travis smiled as he often did. "You okay? You look a little flustered."  
"Yeah, I'm just, I don't know." Ren glanced at the textbook in her hand. "Hang on, I got the wrong book." She spun the lock on her locker and tugged the door open, replacing her math book with her physics book. "I'm really tired," she told Travis.  
"Do you want to do something after school today?" Travis asked.  
"Oh," said Ren. "I really wish I could, I just have so much homework."  
"Yeah." Travis nodded. "Well, you're still going to homecoming with me, right?"  
"Of course." Ren smiled and blew Travis a kiss as the bell rang. She began pacing rapidly toward her first class.  
"Ren, wait up," said Ruby from behind Ren. Ren slowed her pace slightly and let her friend catch up to her.  
Ruby was holding two Styrofoam coffee cups in her hands, one of which Ren took, briefly saying "Thanks."  
"So did you think about the job offer?" Ruby asked.  
"What job offer?" Ren pulled open the door to her English classroom and she and Ruby sat down in their desks.  
"You know, my mom's beauty shop," Ruby clarified. "Please? Monique already said yes."  
Ren sighed. "Okay, I guess I could do it, but only one day a week."  
"Deal!" Ruby squealed. "Aren't you excited, Ren? It'll be like having a real job!"  
"Yeah, exciting," said Ren. She opened her English folder and removed her neatly stapled essay. "This thing took me five hours to write."  
"Ren, you're crazy," said Ruby.  
"I know, I know," said Ren. "But I really need to get a good grade on this."  
The final bell rang and Mr. Callum, the English teacher, walked into the classroom and silently took attendance. Ren frantically sifted through the pages of her essay. She turned to Ruby and said in a frantic whisper, "I don't have page three!"  
"What, did it not print?" Ruby asked her.  
"I don't know, but it's not here. Oh my gosh, I have to go home and get it." Ren raised her hand. "Mr. Callum, may I be excused?"  
"Make it quick, Ms. Stevens," Mr. Callum told her.  
"Ren, just turn the assignment in late," Ruby begged as Ren scooped up her purse and jolted out of her seat. "He'll understand."  
"No, I can't, I have to go home," Ren insisted. She pushed open the door to the classroom and raced down the hall toward the parking lot. Jumping in her car, she muttered under her breath as she lurched onto the freeway and sped toward home.  
  
"Louis, can I talk to you?" Tawny asked Louis in the lunch line.  
"Yeah, sure, what about?" Louis grabbed a cup of pudding and made his way toward the register.  
"Look, we need to talk," said Tawny.  
Louis and Tawny rang up their food and Tawny headed toward the hallway instead of into the cafeteria.  
"Hey, Tawny, Twitty's waiting for us." Louis gestured toward the cafeteria with his head.  
Tawny pursed her lips. "Just meet me outside after you eat, okay?"  
Ren brushed past Tawny as she sprinted into the lunchroom.  
"Oh, hey Ren," Tawny greeted her.  
"Hey." Ren craned her neck to peer around the cafeteria. "Have you seen Monique or Ruby?"  
Tawny shrugged. "I don't know."  
"You look intense," Ren observed.  
Tawny tried to laugh. "Yeah, that's me, I'm always intense."  
"So how are things?"  
Tawny sighed. "I have to talk to Louis about some stuff."  
"Oh." Ren frowned. "Really?"  
"Yeah, he just seems to be such a slacker lately."  
"My parents are trying to convince him to go to engineering school," said Ren. "I'm sure he'll come around, though. He does have me for a big sister. Oh, there's Monique, I have to go. See you later, Tawny."  
"See you."  
"Reeeeen!" Monique shrieked as she jogged up to Ren, wearing athletic shorts and a HESHS t-shirt. She wrapped Ren in a hug as best she could while still clutching her lunch tray under her arm.  
Ren laughed. "It's October and you're still wearing shorts, Monique?"  
"The girls and I were just practicing our routine," Monique explained. "We're cheering for the homecoming game next Friday, you know."  
"Oh, I know," Ren assured her. "Just the word 'homecoming' makes me shiver this year."  
Monique nudged Ren with her tray as the girls found a table in the center of the room. "I think you and Travis should go as something fun, like Frankenstein's monster and bride."  
"Oh, sure," Ren chortled.  
Ruby plunked her lunch tray down at the table and took a seat next to Monique. "Hey, fellow co-workers," she said.  
"Hi, Ruby," Monique and Ren replied.  
"Ren, that was so funny what you did in class today," said Ruby, biting into her hamburger.  
"Ooh, what did she do?" Monique leaned across the table excitedly.  
"Okay, I realized I had left one of the pages of my English essay at home," Ren began.  
"So she, like, runs out of the classroom and comes back two seconds before the bell rings, waving her paper in front of her face," Ruby continued, "and Mr. Callum is like, 'What are you doing?' And Ren goes, 'Here's my paper, Mr. Callum.' And Mr. Callum gives her the funniest look ever and says, get this: 'That isn't due until next week, Ms. Stevens.' All deadpan like that. It was too funny."  
"Thank you for sharing my embarrassment with the world," said Ren.  
"That's happened to me before," said Monique, "except I turned the paper in a week late."  
"You really stayed up all night working on that paper?" Ruby asked.  
"I thought it was due today!" Ren exclaimed. "So what happened in class today, anyway?"  
"Nothing," said Ruby. "That class is too boring. We have to read twenty pages of some book tonight."  
"You mean The Great Gatsby, the book we've been reading for a week and a half?" Ren inquired.  
"Oh yeah, that one," said Ruby. "Okay, so girls, can you two come into my mom's beauty shop on Saturday at like ten?"  
"Sure." Monique clapped her hands together. "This is going to be so much fun. Like when you guys worked at Your Toast together. Now it's all three of us!"  
"Oh yeah, Your Toast was a blast," Ren said sarcastically.  
"But we are going to have fun," Ruby promised. "So can you be there, Ren? Hey, look at it this way, you don't have to work on your English paper this weekend."  
"You're right," Ren told her. "I'll be there."  
  
Tawny slumped against a bench in the courtyard and took a bite of her apple. Tom Gribalski walked by, bobbing his head, and spotted her. "Hello, Madame," Tom greeted Tawny with a slight bow at the waist. "May I have this seat?"  
"Sure, Tom," said Tawny. "Gosh, I haven't seen you for awhile. What have you been doing?"  
"Filling out practice college applications and trying to construct a scale model of DNA. And yourself?"  
"I've been thinking a lot about Louis," Tawny admitted.  
"Oh," said Tom.  
"I'm really about him."  
"How come? Has he gotten into trouble?"  
"All the time," said Tawny. "Well, I mean, it's just little things like being late to class, but he never does homework and he refuses to go to college and, ugh, he just annoys me so much sometimes." She glanced at Tom. "Sorry."  
"It's all right," Tom replied. "Perhaps Louis just doesn't fit into the academic environment. He is a very comical being. Maybe he should go to clown school." Tom laughed at his own joke.  
"Right," said Tawny. "Oh, here he comes." She sat up rigidly.  
"I'll leave you two alone, then," said Tom. "It was nice associating with your presence, Tawny."  
"Hey, Tom, man, what's up?" Louis held out his fist to Tom.  
Tom clenched his hand into a fist and smacked it into Louis'. Louis cringed and shook his hand in pain. "Hey, homey G, what be up in the hood?" said Tom.  
"Uh, yeah, Tom, that's enough," Louis advised. "So what's going on? I'm a busy person, you know," he told Tawny as Tom strutted away.  
"Sit down, Louis," Tawny instructed.  
Louis sat.  
"Louis, this isn't working," Tawny blurted out.  
"What? Am I blocking you from the sun or something?" Louis asked, shifting his position on the bench.  
"See, this is what I mean." Tawny stood up and glared down at Louis. "Could you please be serious for once?"  
"All right," Louis said softly, sinking back in submission.  
Tawny sat down again and stared straight ahead. "This on-and-off relationship isn't going to work. I mean, for the past three years I've thought we were going out, and I always assumed we would go to dances together and stuff."  
"You hate dances," Louis reminded her.  
"Yeah, but it would be fun going with you." Tawny bit her lip and suddenly turned her head toward Louis, then looked away again. "I think we need a break."  
"From what?" Louis asked.  
"Our relationship. Whatever it is."  
"Okay, I know you told me to take this seriously, but aren't you taking this too seriously?" Louis asked. "You know, I mean, I thought we were just good friends. Like me and Twitty."  
"Good friends who kiss and hold hands?" Tawny asked.  
"What, friends with benefits or whatever? If you want to put a label on it. Tawny, I don't have time for this. I have to go not study." Louis started to stand up.  
"I'm breaking up with you," said Tawny.  
Louis sat down again, abruptly. "Breaking up with . Tawny, that's crazy! Okay? We're not even going out."  
"But don't you want to go out?" asked Tawny. "Haven't you wanted to go out with me since seventh grade?"  
"Yeah, I have," said Louis.  
"Then what are you doing, Louis? You keep leading me on and I don't like it," said Tawny. "I don't want to be your girlfriend if you're just going to screw around like this."  
"You could have talked to me about this earlier," said Louis.  
"You know, I thought this whole 'maybe we're in a relationship, maybe we're not' thing could work, but now I see that you just don't care about anything. Including your future."  
"Now we're back on that subject?" Louis asked.  
"Louis, please. Listen to me. I want you to take some time off from me and spend some time finding yourself." Tawny placed her hand over Louis' and locked her gaze into his. Her blue eyes flickered back and forth over his face.  
"So what does this mean?" Louis asked. "You're breaking up with me? Like we can't hold hands anymore in the hallways? What?"  
"I don't think we should spend time together anymore, Louis. I won't come to your house on weekends anymore, and I won't sit with you and Twitty at lunch."  
"Why?" Louis demanded.  
"Because you live in the present too much." Tawny stood up and began walking toward the entrance to the school.  
"I'm so sick of your new age philosophical garbage!" Louis called after her, rising from the bench and hurling his apple onto the ground.  
Tawny didn't turn around. She continued walking toward the cafeteria and stopped in front of Ren, Ruby, and Monique's table. "Hey, can I sit with you?"  
"Join in on the fun," Monique invited her.  
Tawny pulled out the seat next to Ren, sat in it, and rested her chin on her elbows on the table top.  
"So how's everything going?" Ruby asked Tawny.  
"I just broke up with Louis," said Tawny.  
All three girls made sympathetic faces. Ren asked, "How did he take it?"  
"I don't know," Tawny replied. "He was really mad at me. I told him he needs to take life more seriously and he said I needed to take it less seriously."  
"Boys." Ruby shook her head.  
"Hey," said Ren, "not all boys are like that."  
"I'm trying to convince her and Travis to go to the homecoming dance as a themed couple," said Monique.  
"You and Travis are going to homecoming?" Tawny asked.  
"Yeah, we've been going out for two and a half years," said Ren.  
"Wow, really?" Tawny asked. "I didn't know."  
"Yeah, where you been, girl?" Monique teased.  
"It's just, I never see you two together," Tawny said. "Sorry."  
"He's always really busy," said Ruby. "He and Ren are a match made in a super organized and efficient heaven."  
"Are you two going?" Tawny asked Ruby and Monique.  
"I'm going with my cousin's friend Drake. He's a hottie," Monique giggled.  
"I'm going stag," said Ruby. "You want to come with us, Tawny?"  
"No, I don't do dances," said Tawny. "I told my mom I would hand out candy anyway."  
"That's no fun," said Ren. "Come on, come with us. We're all meeting at my house at five."  
"No, it's okay," said Tawny. She looked around the cafeteria nonchalantly.  
"All right," Ren said.  
"You know, this is really stupid, but I thought Louis and I just might go to homecoming this year," Tawny sighed.  
"Well, you did the right thing if you don't think you two staying together is what's best for you guys," Ruby consoled her.  
"I know," said Tawny. "I just think he needs to get rid of his distractions and actually study."  
"In your dreams," Ren coughed.  
"Well I know I'm not helping the situation, so he's going to have to just decide for himself now," Tawny told her. "Aren't you worried about him? I mean, aren't your parents at least worried about him?"  
"Of course they are," said Ren, "but they can't force him to do anything."  
"I know," said Tawny.  
"But, you know, if you feel that what you're doing is right, then I'm sure it is," said Ren. "He does think of you differently than Twitty."  
"Really?" asked Tawny.  
"He talks about you all the time," said Ren.  
"I think about him all the time," Tawny replied, "and I worry about him."  
"That is so sweet," Ruby chimed in.  
Ren laughed. "Don't worry, he'll come around eventually. He always does at the last minute."  
"I hope so," said Tawny. "So, what are you girls doing this weekend?"  
"Working at Mrs. Mendel's beauty shop," said Monique excitedly.  
"All of you?" Tawny asked.  
"Yep. It'll be a real team experience," said Ruby.  
"Well that's cool."  
"I'll be filling out more college applications," Ren told her. "Half the schools I'm applying to have November first deadlines. They don't even give us the chance to submit our first semester grades. It's so frustrating! I almost got a B last semester, thank goodness I didn't."  
"Whoa, chill out there, girl," said Monique.  
"Where are all of you applying?" Tawny wanted to know.  
"I'm applying to USC, UCLA, and University of San Diego," said Monique.  
"Southern California," Tawny remarked.  
"I know, I'm all about So Cal," said Monique. "I can sit out in the sun all day, even in the winter."  
"You can do that here, too," said Tawny.  
"Yeah right, it's cold here, girl," Monique exclaimed.  
"She's 'allergic to the sun', remember?" Ren rolled her eyes good- naturedly.  
"It gives me freckles," Tawny stated monotonously. "I hate freckles."  
"Anywho," Ruby interrupted, "I'm applying to Stanford, Northwestern, New York University, and Cal State Sacramento as my safe school."  
Tawny craned her head toward Ren, and Monique and Ruby laughed.  
"Well," Ren started, "let me think. I already applied to Yale for early decision, and I'm going to apply to Harvard, Dartmouth, Berkeley, Swarthmore, Bryn Mawr, Columbia, University of Michigan, and Notre Dame."  
"Wow, what's your safety school?" Tawny asked.  
"I was thinking of applying to Pomona College, just in case," said Ren.  
"So not a safety," said Ruby.  
"Yeah, well Monique doesn't have a safety," Ren pointed out.  
"But if I don't get into a school I can always cheerlead for one of the Southern California teams," said Monique. "My uncle is a manager for the Lakers."  
"I thought they danced," said Tawny.  
"Well, whatever." Monique waved her hand in the air.  
The lunch bell rang, and the four girls gathered up their books and purses.  
"It was nice sitting with you, Tawny," said Ruby.  
"Yeah, sit with us any time," Ren invited her.  
"Thanks." Tawny smiled. "See you later."  
  
Ren placed two of her books in her locker and flipped through her daily calendar to see which books she needed to bring home. The end of the school day always made her anxious; after school was over she had to go home and do even more school work, plus fill out college applications and organize events for student council or do research for journalism.  
"Ren." Travis came up to Ren and kissed her cheek. "Guess what? The photographer for the homecoming dance had some conflict come up so now I get to take his place."  
"Wow, Travis, congratulations!" said Ren. "Of course, this means we actually have to go now, but still, congratulations."  
Travis chuckled. "You really don't want to go to this dance, do you?"  
"I just don't see how drinking green punch with fake eyeballs in it constitutes a homecoming dance," said Ren. "It seems more like some childish Halloween party to me."  
"It'll be fun," Travis promised. "I'll give you a slow dance to the 'Monster Mash.'"  
"Ha ha," said Ren.  
"Call me tonight?" Travis asked.  
"Gosh, I don't know, I have a lot of homework," said Ren. "College applications, you know, gotta stay on top of them."  
"Heh. Sure, I guess," said Travis.  
"How are you so non-stressed about all of this?" Ren wondered. "You're the most laidback guy I've ever met."  
"It's all in the organization," Travis explained. "I allot an hour for homework, half an hour for filling out college applications, twenty minutes to eat, and fifteen minutes to work out every day."  
"Oh, I love you," said Ren, leaning forward to kiss him.  
"Love you too." Travis returned the kiss.  
"All right, Lovey Lovebirds," Louis interrupted the two, stepping between them. "The final bell has rung. Please clear the hallways."  
"Hey Louis," Travis greeted him.  
"Hey." Louis looked at the floor, trying to find something interesting to hold his gaze. "Hey Ren, can we go now? I kind of have a lot to do at home."  
"Oh," said Ren. "Sure. I'll call you, Travis." She closed her locker and walked down the hallway with Louis. "So I heard about you and Tawny."  
"Could we not talk about it, please?" Louis snapped.  
"I'm sorry," said Ren. They got to the parking lot and Louis and Ren climbed in Ren's car. She started the engine. "You know, it probably was for the best."  
"What, the me and Tawny thing that I thought we weren't talking about?"  
"She's frustrated with you," said Ren. "She just wants what's best for you."  
"Blah blah blah," said Louis. "She doesn't know what's best for me, okay, Ren?"  
"Forget it," said Ren. "It's your life, Louis. Do what you want."  
They rode the rest of the way in silence. As soon as Ren pulled into the Stevens' driveway she and Louis climbed out of the car and barged in through the front door. Eileen Stevens, who was sitting in the living room, said, "Oh, Ren, good, you're home. I want to talk to you about."  
Before she could finish Louis stumbled over to the couch and fell into his mother's arms, sobbing.  
"Oh, Louis, what happened?" Eileen asked as she stroked Louis' hair. "Shh, honey."  
"Tawny broke up with him," Ren said from the kitchen. She grabbed a box of graham crackers and sat on one of the kitchen stools. "She said something about him needing to focus on his future."  
"Sweetheart, it's all right," Eileen cooed. Louis sniffled and nestled his head in her shoulder. Eileen looked up at Ren. "She wants him to focus on his future?"  
"She thinks I'm a screw-up," said Louis.  
"No, she doesn't," Ren insisted. "She wants you to go to college."  
"I don't care about college," said Louis.  
"I know, I know," said Mrs. Stevens. "We'll talk about this later."  
Louis sat up, brushing the tears off his face. "I just . I just don't want to lose her as a friend, you know? She was so." He buried his head in his hands and started crying again. "I loved her," he muttered.  
"It's all right," Eileen assured him. "You'll make up. Okay?"  
"No," said Louis. "She was serious."  
"Oh, you know how girls can be," said Eileen.  
"She doesn't want to hurt you, Louis," said Ren.  
"Too late," said Louis, and dashed upstairs to his room. Ren and Eileen heard him slam the door shut.  
"I've never seen him act like that before," Ren observed, spreading peanut butter on one of her graham crackers.  
"He's stressed out right now, honey," Eileen explained.  
"Louis? Stressed? Ha!"  
"His grades are slipping, Ren."  
"Well, it's his own fault for not studying," said Ren.  
"Just because high school comes easily to you doesn't mean Louis doesn't have to struggle," Eileen reasoned. She made her way into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to prepare for dinner. "Is it all right if we have spaghetti tonight?"  
"I probably won't eat anyway. I have to fill out all these applications," said Ren.  
"Oh, Ren, you can't live on graham crackers," said Eileen. "You can fill out some applications this weekend. You still have a few weeks before they're due."  
"I know, but Ruby made me take this job at her mom's beauty shop on weekends," said Ren.  
"Oh really?" Eileen asked. "Could you help me peel these potatoes, honey?"  
Ren set down her graham crackers and grabbed a potato peeler. She turned on the sink and said, "Monique and Ruby and I are all working together. I have to be there at ten on Saturday."  
"That sounds like fun," said Eileen. "Oh, Ren, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go shopping for a homecoming dress this weekend. Do you think you'll have time after work?"  
"I don't know," said Ren.  
"What else do you have to wear to the dance?" Eileen asked.  
"Clothes from last year," Ren replied.  
"Ren, Ren, Ren." Eileen shook her head. "You are a girl. You should take advantage of your mother offering to buy you a brand new dress."  
Ren half-smiled. "I know, Mom."  
"Well, I'll go by myself and if I see one I like I'll bring it home for you to try on," Eileen offered.  
"Fine. This dance is going to be a disaster," said Ren. "Just don't buy a black or orange dress, all right?"  
"Don't worry, sweetie," said Eileen. 


	4. Chapter Three

"Hey, dude, Zack's having this totally rad party this weekend," Twitty told Louis over the phone that night. "You up for it?"  
"A party? Twitty, I don't go to parties. I'm not a party person," said Louis.  
"Dude, you sound like Tawny," said Twitty.  
There was silence over the line.  
"Hey, man, I'm sorry," Twitty apologized quickly. "Didn't mean to mention her. Come on, man, it'll be fun."  
"Fine," Louis agreed. "Yeah, I'm there."  
"Then on Sunday we can study for Grant's killer test," said Twitty. "That sound cool to you, dude?"  
"Yeah, I don't really feel like studying. I think I'll just fail the test," said Louis.  
"Whatever," Twitty said. "I'll see you on Saturday then, okay? We're meeting at Zack's."  
"Yeah, sure. I'll see if I can borrow my sister's car." Louis tossed a sock off his bed and glanced out his window. Ren and Eileen were standing in front of the house, talking to Steve Stevens, who had apparently just come home from work. "Well, man, I have to go. My dad is home," said Louis. "But don't worry, I'll be at that party."  
"Sweet," said Twitty, and hung up.  
Louis shuffled outside and joined the rest of his family.  
"Hello, son," Steve greeted him. "I was just telling your mother and Ren that I talked to Donnie today, and he said he has a great job opportunity for you over the summer."  
"The summer? Dad, I'm not even thinking about what I'll eat for breakfast tomorrow," said Louis.  
Steve ignored him and continued, "It's actually a job shadowing. Donnie knows some mechanics and they're going to be reconstructing some motor vehicles this summer. Doesn't that sound like fun?"  
Louis ran his hand through his hair. "Sure, Dad. Hey, Mom, what's for dinner tonight? I smelled something cooking downstairs."  
"Roast beef," Eileen replied. "Why don't you go upstairs and do some homework and we'll tell you when dinner is ready."  
"I finished my homework a few hours ago, Mom," said Louis.  
"Louis!" cried Ren. "School just ended an hour ago."  
"Well, all right," said Eileen as Louis disappeared back into the house. She turned to Steve. "He's a little upset right now. I'm trying not to push him."  
"So I hear Ren's starting a new job this weekend," said Steve. "Congratulations, honey." He kissed Ren on the forehead.  
"Thanks, Dad," said Ren, "but Ruby just offered me the job. Anyway, I have to go finish writing some of my college essays. See you later."  
"Isn't she wonderful?" Steve asked when Ren had gone back inside. "Keeping on top of things so nicely."  
"All of our children are wonderful," Eileen told him. "Just in different ways."  
"But Louis, he won't do any work at all. He could have such a promising future, Eileen, if he just applied himself."  
"Tawny's worried about him too. So is Ren. We all are. Maybe if we don't pressure him he'll . he'll naturally gravitate toward a career," said Eileen. "Let's try not to worry about it now. Let's just focus on getting Ren into the best school possible."  
"I suppose we could," Steve agreed. "But we're going to have to face this sometime, you know."  
"I know," said Eileen. "Let's just not rush it."  
  
"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!" Ren bolted down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbing the kitchen phone off its hook.  
Eileen, who was sitting at the dining room table paying bills, dashed through the kitchen door. "Ren, sweetheart, what are you doing? It's two in the morning on a school night." Eileen wrinkled her brow, looking concerned. "Are you all right?"  
"No, I am not all right. I made a mistake on my Harvard application!" Ren cried.  
"Well, let me see. Maybe we can fix it," said Eileen, taking the paper out of Ren's hand. "Oh. I see." Ren had spelled the word "exigency" incorrectly on her statement of intent, and in her attempt to fix it had made a large black mark in the middle of the paper. "Well, honey," said Eileen, "we can call Harvard tomorrow and have them send a new application. Why don't you just use this one as practice."  
"We have to have them ship it overnight. The deadline is just over a week away! They're going to think I'm so irresponsible for sending in the paper just in time!" Ren's fingers flew over the number that she had memorized on the phone's keypad.  
"Ren." Eileen took the phone out of Ren's hand and placed it back on the receiver. "It is five a.m. in Massachusetts. The admissions office doesn't open for at least another four hours."  
"Can you call them for me at six, then? Or wake me up early?" Ren asked.  
"Ren, sit down," said Eileen, taking a seat at the island counter herself. Ren hesitantly sat, perched on the edge of her stool. "I think you are getting just a little too stressed about this."  
"This is my future," said Ren.  
"I know, honey, but it's just an application. We can send another one in a few days. Don't worry about it," said Eileen. "When I was applying to schools I sent all of my applications in at the last minute, and I got into college and graduate school."  
Ren took a deep breath. "Okay. I'll try not to freak out anymore."  
"Good. Now, sweetie, go to bed. I promise I'll call Harvard tomorrow morning while you're at school. I'll even make a note to myself and put it on the refrigerator," Eileen promised.  
"Thanks, Mom," said Ren.  
"Sure, sweetheart. And try not to wake Louis or your father up on the way upstairs."  
"Gotcha."  
"Ren?" Eileen called as Ren made her way toward her bedroom. Ren turned around. "Go to bed, all right? I think you've spent enough time on applications for now."  
"Don't worry, Mom," Ren called back.  
  
Louis and Tawny walked to their lockers at the same time the next morning. Pacing down the hall side by side, they rigidly walked straight ahead to their intended destinations. Louis turned his head slightly toward Tawny, which immediately evoked her to do the same. She smiled at him slightly and he just nodded, and then they both looked straight forward again.  
Tawny opened her locker and hung up her coat, then removed her trigonometry book and shut her locker door. As she was zipping her textbook into her backpack, Tom brushed past her and opened his locker, which was just a few feet down. When he saw Tawny, he said, "Hello, Tawny. I hope you're having a good morning so fun."  
"Eh, it's going okay," said Tawny. "How about yours?"  
"I had a bit of a hard time navigating the crowded parking lot, but I persevered," said Tom. He hoisted his heavy backpack onto his shoulders and said, "So are you doing anything for Halloween?"  
Tawny shrugged. "I don't know. I doubt it."  
"I'm having a Halloween party. You want to come?"  
"Really? Who are you inviting?" Tawny asked.  
"Well, Mother's going to be there," said Tom.  
"Sure, I'll come," said Tawny.  
"I'm going to dress up as a vampire. How about yourself?"  
"I guess I'll figure something about this weekend."  
"Great. Well, I'll print out an invitation and give it to you on Monday," said Tom. "Have a nice day."  
"You too," said Tawny as Tom walked away.  
  
Ren woke up Saturday morning and quickly showered and got dressed. She stepped out into the hallway at the same time as Louis, who was wearing an old t-shirt and boxer shorts.  
"Hey, Louis, what are you doing up this early?" Ren asked.  
"Oh, I'm just getting ready for a party tonight," Louis replied.  
"You're going to a party?" Ren asked.  
"Yeah, Twitty's friend Zack. He's having one at his house," said Louis.  
"Is this like a 'surfer dudes' party or a real party?" Ren wanted to know.  
"I don't know," said Louis.  
"Well, have fun, then," Ren told him.  
"Where are you headed off to?"  
"I'm starting my first day of work," said Ren.  
"Hey, sis," Louis started, "can I borrow your car tonight?"  
"Um, how about no," said Ren, descending the stairs. Louis followed her, imitating her step.  
"Ren, Ren, the party's halfway across town. What am I supposed to do, call a cab service?"  
"How about get a ride with Twitty," Ren suggested.  
"Twitty's going separately. He's going to some club afterwards," said Louis.  
"Then go with him," said Ren.  
"Can't I just borrow your car? You got a car a few days after you turned sixteen and I'm almost seventeen and don't have one yet."  
"That's because you're irresponsible."  
"All right, what are you kids arguing about?" Steve asked from behind his newspaper as Ren and Louis approached the dining room.  
"Louis keeps insisting I let him borrow my car tonight so he can go to a party." Ren rolled her eyes, aggravated.  
"And I'm never allowed to drive," said Louis.  
"A party?" Steve whipped down his newspaper. "What kind of party is this, son? You're not going to get in trouble, are you?"  
"No," said Louis defensively.  
"Have you done all your homework for Monday?" Steve asked.  
"Yeah, Dad, it's all done."  
"Dad! He is so lying!" said Ren.  
Steve tapped his fingers against the table. "All right. Your mother's going to a meeting tonight. If you sit down and do your homework for an hour, and then show it to me, you can borrow my car for the party."  
"Deal," said Louis.  
"But you had better not come home drunk," Steve warned.  
"No worries," said Louis. He turned to go upstairs and stuck his tongue out at Ren as he barged toward his room.  
"Well, I'm going to work," said Ren. "Wish me luck."  
"Good luck, sweetheart. I'm sure you'll do wonderfully," said Steve.  
Ren climbed into her car, pausing to look in the rearview mirror to smooth her hair down. As she drove to Of Curls & Cuticles Beauty Parlor, she couldn't help thinking about her college applications, two of which were still incomplete and one of which she hadn't even received in the mail yet. She hadn't been careful enough while filling out the Harvard application. She knew how to spell and write, but her thoughts had gotten ahead of her common sense. And she had messed up on the Harvard applications, of all the ones she could have messed up on! Ren drummed her fingers nervously against the steering wheel and nearly missed the entrance to the parking lot. She got out of her car and gazed up at the sign that read: "Of Curls and Cuticles: Grand Opening 10/24!! 15% off all beauty supplies with the purchase of one haircut, manicure, pedicure, or waxing."  
As soon as Ren pulled open the door to the beauty shop, she was rushed by Ruby, Monique, and Mrs. Mendel, who all threw their arms around her in greeting. "I'm so glad you could make it, Ren!" "We're going to have so much fun!" "You're just in time!"  
Ren laughed as she stepped out of the huddle. "I didn't know I was in such demand today."  
"Are you ready to start your training, girls?" Mrs. Mendel asked. Ruby, Ren, and Monique nodded. "All right, well, it's simple really. Ruby, I know you know how to work a cash register. What about you, Monique? Ren?"  
"I did a little bit at Your Toast," said Ren.  
"Oh, God, don't want to recall that memory," said Mrs. Mendel. "What? They tortured my baby." She wrapped her polished red-nailed fingers around Ruby's head protectively. Ruby ducked out of her grasp.  
"I can do anything," said Monique, "but I'm especially good with hair."  
"We won't start you on that just yet, dolly," said Mrs. Mendel. "How are you at sweeping the floors and cleaning up around the manicure tables?"  
"Ooh, ooh, I'm good at that!" Ren volunteered.  
"All right. Ruby, I'll put you on the cash register. Ren, you clean up. Monique."  
Monique's eyes suddenly lit up. "I can order subscriptions to beauty magazines so the customers can look at them to decide which hairstyle they want."  
"How about you stock supplies," Mrs. Mendel said quickly.  
"I can do that too." Monique clapped her hands together and went into the storage room.  
"We can train you on the cash register later, Ren," said Ruby. "You don't mind cleaning, do you? The pay is still the same, you know."  
"Don't worry about it," said Ren. "I'm happy with whatever you give me."  
"My mom's just really proud of herself for finally being able to open her own beauty parlor, so she might seem a little disorganized," Ruby apologized.  
"That's why I'm here," said Ren. "I'm the organizer. Anything to get my mind off me screwing up that college application."  
Ruby slapped Ren's shoulder playfully. "Don't be so hard on yourself. We're here to have fun."  
"You're right," said Ren.  
"But hey, since we haven't had any customers yet and the place isn't dirty, why don't we go next door and get some ice cream," said Ruby.  
"You really know how to cheer a girl up!" said Ren. "Monique," she called.  
Monique dragged a large box full of shampoo bottles out onto the main floor. "You called?"  
"We're ditching work for a snack break. You coming?" Ruby asked.  
"Well, I am on a diet, but since it's a Saturday, okay!" Monique agreed.  
The three girls bounced out of the store, leaving Mrs. Mendel behind, shaking her head. When they came back twenty minutes later, a few customers had wandered into the store, and the hairstylists and manicurists had arrived.  
"This is so exciting," said Mrs. Mendel, clutching Ruby's arm, "like my own business!"  
"It is your own business, Mom," Ruby reminded her.  
"I know, I know, but it's still so exciting."  
Ren scrubbed a splotch of nail polish off a table and turned to throw her cleaning cloth into the sink. She spotted Tawny walking through the door. "Tawny!" Ren called.  
Tawny walked up to Ren, looking around the store. "Hey, Ren. This place is pretty nice."  
"So what are you doing here?" Ren asked Tawny. "Are you going to get a haircut or something?"  
"Yeah, I just thought I needed a change," Tawny told her.  
"Go for it," said Ren. "Is there some special occasion you're doing this for or is it just for fun?"  
"I'm probably going trick-or-treating next weekend and I don't want to look like a dork," said Tawny. She and Ren both laughed.  
Ren raised her eyebrow. "Trick-or-treating? Really?"  
"Yeah, Tom invited me to his and his mom's little Halloween party." Tawny shrugged. "I thought it would be fun."  
"Oh, so you and Tom are hanging out?" Ren asked.  
"Yeah, I guess," said Tawny.  
"Oh."  
"It's just a casual thing. Anyway, I'd better make an appointment."  
"Look at this gorgeous dark hair." Mrs. Mendel ran her hands through Tawny's hair. Tawny whirled around, confused. "I would kill to have hair like this," said Mrs. Mendel. "You getting a haircut?"  
"Yeah," said Tawny. "Are you Ruby's mom?"  
"That's me."  
"I kind of know Ruby. I'm Ren's friend," said Tawny.  
"Well, you've come to the right place! I'll give you an extra ten percent off, how does that sound?" said Mrs. Mendel. "And I have the perfect stylist for you. Sheila, come over here. Doesn't this girl have gorgeous hair?"  
As Sheila sat Tawny in her chair, Ren said, "Are you and Tom close now?"  
"Why?" Tawny asked.  
"I don't know, he's kind of cute. He's a lot hotter than he was in middle school, wouldn't you say?" Ren asked.  
"If you think I'm just doing this to get back at Louis, I'm not," said Tawny. "I just felt sorry for Tom because he doesn't have many friends."  
"Okay," said Ren.  
"So what do you want done today?" Sheila asked Tawny.  
"Just give me something totally different," Tawny told her, sinking into the cushy chair.  
Tawny emerged from the chair forty-five minutes later, her hair straight and sleek, hanging it choppy layers to her shoulder blades. She looked at herself in the mirror curiously and went up to the front desk to pay for her cut.  
"Aww, Tawny, you look great," said Ruby, taking Tawny's debit card. "It's like the new you."  
"Yeah, you could say that," Tawny mumbled.  
"Did you hear about Tawny and Tom?" Ren asked when Tawny had walked out of the store into the parking lot.  
"They're going out?" Ruby asked excitedly.  
"No, but Tawny's going to some Halloween thing with Tom and his mom," said Ren.  
Monique tiptoed over to Monique and Ren to listen in on the conversation. "Tom and Tawny are an item?" she asked.  
"Not yet," Ruby told her.  
"Maybe we shouldn't poke our nose into their business, girls," said Ren.  
"You're the one who brought it up!" Ruby pointed out.  
"Maybe she's just going as his friend," Monique suggested.  
"So she claims," said Ruby.  
"All right, girls, back to work," Mrs. Mendel said sternly, ushering Monique back to the shelves. "You can gossip later."  
  
"How'd your first day go, Ren?" Eileen asked as soon as Ren walked in the door.  
"Whoa, Mom," said Ren, closing the door behind her as she came face- to-face with her mother. "Um, it was okay."  
"Did you get many customers?" Eileen followed Ren into the den. Ren sank into the couch cushions and turned on the TV and flipped through the channels.  
"I don't know, I guess," said Ren. She turned off the TV and wandered into the kitchen. Eileen followed her. Ren spun around and said, "Why are you following me?"  
"There's something for you in your room, sweetie." Eileen gave a sly smile.  
Ren felt chills up and down her body. Her heart started pounding. "Really?" Eileen nodded. "Really?"  
"Well, go up there and check!" Eileen prodded her.  
"I'm scared," said Ren.  
"You don't even know what it is," said Eileen.  
"Yes, I do," Ren replied. "I can tell from the look on your face."  
"Oh, honey, the suspense is killing me. I've been waiting for you to come home since two this afternoon. Open the letter."  
"Ah-ha! See, I could tell what it was."  
Eileen led Ren by the shoulders to the bottom of the staircase, urging her to go up to her room. "Come on, come on, I want to know. I have to go to a meeting in an hour. I don't have all night."  
"Okay." Ren drew in a breath and marched up the stairs to her room. Perched on top of her computer desk was a small envelope with Yale's official seal stamped in the upper left-hand corner. Ren's face fell. She plucked the letter from her desktop and returned to the bottom of the staircase, where her mother was waiting excitedly, hands clasped together in front of her. "Mom, acceptance letters come in big envelopes," said Ren, trying not to let her eyes well up.  
"Oh, but sweetie, you applied for early admission. I bet that's just your acceptance letter and they'll sound all the housing information out in April with all the other students'," Eileen reasoned.  
"Maybe," said Ren softly.  
"Open it. If you open it I'll make you chocolate chip cookies," Eileen offered.  
Ren forced a laugh and tore open the envelope. Her hands were shaking so much she could barely open the folded piece of paper inside it. She yanked it open and scanned the page with her eyes. Then she looked up at Eileen.  
"Well?" Eileen asked, trying to peer over Ren's shoulder at the paper.  
"I didn't get in," said Ren. "I was wait-listed."  
"Oh, honey." Eileen put her arm around Ren's shoulder. "That doesn't mean you won't still get in."  
Ren crumpled up the letter and let it fall from her hand. She looked down at the floor and said, "I guess I just thought I was good enough to get in early."  
"Ren," said Eileen, scooping up the crumpled paper from the floor, "thousands of students apply to Yale every year. It's almost by chance that some people get accepted early. They're probably - they're probably legacy or something. At least it's not a rejection letter. And even if you do get a rejection letter there's still Harvard, and all the other schools you're going to apply to."  
"Yeah, I know," said Ren. "Um, Mom, I think I'm just going to go upstairs."  
"All right, sweetie. Do you want me to tell you when I'm leaving?"  
"It's okay," said Ren.  
"What's her problem?" Louis asked as he passed Ren on the stairs. Ren gave him a dirty look. He was wearing a polo shirt and dress pants, and his hair was spiked.  
"Louis!" Eileen exclaimed. "You look . interesting."  
"Yeah, just thought I'd experiment with my wardrobe." Louis lifted his arm and sniffed underneath it.  
"Are you going somewhere?" Eileen asked.  
Louis shrugged. "Oh, you know. No."  
"All right." Eileen gave him a strange look. "Well, I'll leave dinner in the refrigerator and you or your father can warm it up. And don't torture Ren tonight, all right?"  
"Do I ever?" asked Louis.  
"I'm home!" Steve called from the kitchen entrance. He came into the front foyer and saw Louis and Eileen. "Hello, son. Hello, my lovely wife."  
"Ohh," said Eileen as Steve kissed her.  
"Looking, uh, interesting, son," Steve remarked, winking at Louis.  
"Thanks Dad." Louis pulled at his sleeves smartly.  
"So what's for dinner?" Steve asked.  
"I made spaghetti. It's in the refrigerator," said Eileen. She grabbed her purse and keys and pulled open the front door. "Behave yourselves, men. I'll be back in a few hours."  
"All right." Louis bobbed his head up and down emphatically as soon as Eileen had left. "So when can I have your car, Dad?"  
"Show me the homework first," Steve instructed. "Where's Ren, by the way? I want to know how her first day of work went."  
"She's having a mental breakdown or something, I don't know," said Louis. "She looked all huffy going up to her room."  
"Oh." Steve frowned. "That good, huh?"  
"Yeah, I'll go up and get the homework, Dad. I just did some, you know, some math. Not too bad."  
"Good for you, son," said Steve.  
Louis sifted through the various papers on his desk and floor in his room. "I know there has to be some math homework here somewhere," he muttered, opening a cluttered drawer full of folded papers. "Ah, here we go. March 22, 1998. Written in pencil. Perfect." Louis smudged out the date on the yellowed paper and wrote in "October 24," then brought the paper back downstairs to his father.  
Steve squinted at the paper and held it up to the light. "Long division. Hmm."  
"Yeah, that's some scary stuff." Louis scratched at the back of his neck as casually as he could. "So where are the keys, Dad?"  
Steve lowered the math paper resignedly. "Louis, I'm disappointed in you."  
"For what, Dad?"  
"For lying to face, that's what. Now bring your math book down here, do your homework for an hour, and then I'll give you the keys."  
"Screw it," said Louis, and retreated to his room. He turned up his stereo and rocked back and forth in his desk chair.  
A few minutes later Ren knocked lightly on the door and came in, her eyes red. "Could you please turn the volume down?" she asked quietly, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "I'm trying to rest."  
Louis turned the volume down slightly. "What's the matter, sis?"  
"Would you please not call me that?" said Ren. "I'm not in the mood, Louis." She left the room, closing the door behind her.  
Louis slammed open his math book and turned to a random page. He tried to focus on the paper. Copying down the first several problems, he jotted down some numbers and variables and brought the new paper down to his father. "Admire my determination," he told Steve as he shoved the paper in his face.  
Steve sighed. "Just go to the party, Lou." He tossed Louis his keys. "But don't come back drunk."  
"All right," said Louis, and slid into his leather jacket. He hopped into his father's SUV and sped toward Zack's house.  
"Finally, man, you're here," Twitty greeted him with a hand slap as Louis slid into the entryway to Zack's house.  
"Where's the booze, dude?" Louis asked. "My dad's giving me a hard time."  
"Uh, well, me and some guys are hanging out in the basement, you want to join us?" Twitty offered.  
"Yeah, I'll catch up with you." Louis patted Twitty on the shoulder and found his way to the kitchen, where several students from HESHS and other schools were standing around the kitchen counter, holding plastic cups full of beer.  
"Hey, you made it," Zack greeted Louis. "You want some beer?"  
"I'm there, man," said Louis.  
When Twitty came in two hours later, Louis was on his third vodka shot. He had to lean against the counter to keep from falling down.  
"Hey, that is not cool, man," said Twitty.  
"Twitty? That you?" Louis squinted and waved one arm in front of Twitty's face. Twitty slapped his arm away.  
"Hey, what are you doing, man? You've never gotten wasted like this before."  
"I'm part of the party." Louis rotated his head from side to side and set his shot glass on the counter.  
"Here." Twitty pulled up a seat and guided Louis into it. "You better sit here for awhile and sober up, dude."  
"No, no, I'm fine," Louis insisted. "Hey, can we go surfing tomorrow? The ocean's right outside Zack's window. Look. Look!" He pointed.  
Twitty brushed his hair out of his face and looked around. "Look, I don't know what you're talking about, man, but you're not making sense."  
"I want some more beer," said Louis.  
"Hey Twitty, you coming to the club with us in a few minutes?" asked Zack. "We gotta go before eleven, my brother's a bouncer. He'll let us all in."  
"No, dude, sorry, I can't go," said Twitty. "Louis, how many shots have you had?"  
"This many." Louis limply held both hands in front of Twitty's face. Then he laughed hysterically. "Whoops, I meant this many!" He held out three fingers and licked each one. "Yummy."  
"Hey, Twitty, you gotta drive us there. You're the only totally sober one," said Zack.  
"I said I couldn't go, man," Twitty said harshly. "I gotta take care of Louis, he's totally out of it. Louis!" He snapped his fingers in front of Louis' face. "Come on, buddy, I'm driving you home."  
"No!" Louis protested. "I got my dad's car. He's gonna kill me, man."  
"I'll take his car and stay at your house for the night, then," Twitty decided. "Zack, sorry about the club, dude. I'll come back tomorrow for my car."  
Twitty drove Louis home and they crept up the stairs to Louis' room. Louis climbed into bed and Twitty slept on the couch downstairs.  
The next morning breakfast at the Stevens house was silent. Ren sat slumped over at the counter eating cereal, Eileen kept breaking eggs into a large bowl to eventually scramble them, and Steve sipped coffee and reviewed one of his case papers.  
Louis stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. He sat at the counter and rubbed his eyes.  
"Louis!" Eileen exclaimed. "You're still in your clothes from yesterday."  
"And you have a lei around your neck," Ren added.  
Steve glanced up at Louis, narrowed his eyes, and looked back at his paper.  
"Hey, yo, what's up?" Twitty shuffled sleepily into the kitchen.  
"Alan," Eileen observed. "What are you doing here?"  
"Oh, you didn't hear about the."  
"Twitty!" Louis slammed his fist down on the countertop. "We just, you know, had a sleepover last night," Louis told Eileen. "It was a last- minute type of thing."  
"Yeah. Last minute," said Twitty.  
"Oh. I see. Looks like you boys didn't get much sleep," Eileen laughed.  
Louis and Twitty shook their heads.  
"Hey, could I have some coffee?" Louis asked.  
"I thought you hated coffee." Ren crossed her arms in front of her and sized Louis up.  
"Well, I'm trying to become a more sophisticated and responsible person, and sophisticated and responsible people drink coffee," said Louis. Twitty nodded in agreement.  
"Is there something here I'm missing?" Eileen asked.  
"No, Mom, nothing," said Louis. "Nothing," Twitty echoed.  
"All right." Eileen poured some coffee into a mug and handed it to Louis. "Is there anything you'd like, Alan?"  
"No thank you, Mrs. Stevens. I have to be getting home now." He motioned toward the door. "So I'd better go."  
"See you later." Eileen shook her head, confused, as Twitty left.  
"So how was your sleepover party last night, Louis?" Ren asked bitterly.  
"It wasn't a party, just a little, intimate gathering. Just me and Twitty," said Louis.  
"Oh, come on!" Ren burst out. "I know you were at a party and got drunk last night. I heard you trying to get into the bathroom and it took you like ten tries just to get the door open."  
"Maybe that was a stray animal trying to paw its way in from the outside," said Louis.  
"Oh, shut up," said Ren.  
"Ren! Louis!" Steve shouted. "That's enough."  
"Do you know anything about this?" Eileen turned to Steve.  
"I let Lou borrow my car to go to a party. It wasn't that big a deal," said Steve.  
"Not that big a deal? Our son is flunking half of his classes and you let him go to some, some drinking party!" said Eileen. "Louis, go to your room. We'll talk about this later."  
"The boy's sixteen. He should be able to make his own decisions," said Steve.  
"No, Steve, you decided for him that it was okay to slack off and go to a party instead of doing his schoolwork," said Eileen.  
"He did his math first," said Steve.  
"I don't want to push him, but I don't want him to go in the opposite direction." Eileen paced around the kitchen.  
"It was just one party, Eileen," said Steve. "Let it go."  
"I know, I know, I know." Eileen stopped pacing and placed her hand on Ren's shoulder. "I'm so glad we have at least one responsible child."  
"If we just find something that interests Louis I'm sure he'll pursue it," said Steve. "That's why we're gonna make him do that job shadow with Donnie's pals this summer."  
"You're right," said Eileen. "Yes, we'll do that."  
"I'm going upstairs." Ren cleared her plates from the counter and dumped them in the sink.  
"Oh, are you going to fill out some more college applications?" Eileen asked.  
"I don't know," said Ren. "I'll see you later."  
"All right, honey." 


	5. Chapter Four

"Hello, Tawny. Off to lunch?" Tom asked as he caught up with Tawny in the hall. "I see you've chosen a new hairstyle, by the way. I find it quite attractive."  
"Thanks." Tawny blushed. "Yeah, I'm going to lunch."  
"May I join you?" Tom asked.  
"Yeah, sure."  
"Have you thought about your costume yet?"  
"I don't know, I might just wear some old one." Tawny grabbed a tray and got in the lunch line. Tom followed suit.  
"We can go shopping for one together after school if you'd like," Tom offered. "Or Mother can sew one. She's got quite the talent for sewing."  
Tawny suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, causing Tom to nearly crash into her. She spun on her heel and looked Tom in his eyes.  
"What?" Tom asked innocently.  
Tawny giggled, then clapped her hand over her mouth. She composed herself quickly, clearing her throat. "I'll put one together," she said quietly.  
Tom trailed behind Tawny as she navigated through the lunchroom and found Monique sitting at a table. Soon Ruby and Ren had joined the three of them.  
"Oh, hi, Tom," Ruby greeted Tom as she sat down. "How are you doing?"  
"Pretty well, and yourself?"  
"I'm okay." Ruby nodded.  
"Ren?" Tom asked.  
"I got a rejection letter from Yale, but other than that I'm fine."  
"You did not get a rejection letter," Ruby said firmly. "She got wait-listed," she explained to Tom.  
"Oh. I see," said Tom. "Well, I'm planning to apply to MIT next year."  
"That's great, Tom," said Ren.  
"Are you going to the homecoming game, Tom?" Monique asked.  
"I'm afraid not. Mother and I will be decorating the house for our Halloween party." Tom tucked his napkin into his shirt collar and speared a lima bean with his fork. He held it in front of his face and examined the food carefully before plucking it off the fork with his teeth.  
"So who exactly is coming to your Halloween party?" Ruby wiggled her eyebrows up and down.  
"Just Mother and Tawny, so far," said Tom. "Oh, I would invite you girls," he added, "but I hear you're all going to homecoming."  
"You and Tawny should go to homecoming together," Monique suggested. "You would make a cute couple."  
"No," Tawny mouthed.  
"Why thank you," said Tom, "but Mother and I have been planning this for a long time."  
"Wow, sounds fun," said Ren.  
"Perhaps Louis would be interested in attending?" Tom asked.  
"Um, he and I kind of broke up," Tawny informed him.  
"Oh. Yes. Well, never mind then," said Tom.  
They ate lunch in awkward silence. A few minutes before the bell rang, Tawny stood up and said, "I have to go to the library. I'll see you later, Tom."  
"I should probably go, too." Tom threw his napkin on his tray and stood up. "It was nice dining with you ladies."  
Tom and Tawny went their separate ways down the hall.  
"They are too cute together," said Ruby.  
"I don't know," Ren said tentatively, "it's kind of weird."  
"But kind of cute," Monique added.  
"Like you and Travis cute," said Ruby. "Kind of shy around each other but with great chemistry."  
"Just don't let Louis know about the two of them, okay?" said Ren. "He's been really weird lately. He went to a party on Saturday and came home drunk."  
"Ouch," said Ruby.  
"Totally," Ren agreed. "Needless to say my parents were just a bit upset with him."  
"He used to be so funny. Now he seems kind of depressed." Monique dumped a salt packet on her French fries and dipped one in her chocolate milkshake.  
"I thought you were on a diet," Ruby told her.  
"I am," said Monique.  
Ren reached across the table and took one of Monique's French fries. "So, girls, homecoming's this weekend. I'm excited."  
"Have you gotten a dress yet?" Ruby asked.  
"My mom was too excited about my Yale letter to go out and get me one on Saturday," Ren explained, "so I'm going to stop by the mall after school tomorrow."  
"Ooh, let us come with you," said Monique.  
"I have a feeling you'll convince me to buy the most expensive dress in the store," said Ren. "And if I don't get into Yale I won't get a good degree and I won't get a good job and then I'll never have money and I'll never be able to pay off the dress."  
"Silly, you'll get into Yale," Ruby assured her. "See, this is exactly why you have to go shopping with us, to get your mind off of all this college nonsense."  
"How do you girls stay so calm waiting for your acceptance letters?" Ren asked.  
"Well, for starters, I just mailed in my first application last week," said Ruby, "and second, it's not that big a deal. I mean, even if I don't get into any school I can always go to community college for a semester and then transfer."  
"Yeah, relax. Once you send those applications in it's not in your hands anymore," said Monique.  
"I guess you're right," said Ren. "Okay, we'll take a trip to the mall tomorrow, but I am not going over two hundred dollars for one dress."  
"I'm a very thrifty shopper, Ren," said Ruby. "And hey, my mom says we can have Saturday off work so we can prepare for the dance. We can get our hair and nails done together at my mom's salon. She'll give us a huge discount."  
"All right," Ren agreed.  
"Now promise to stop stressing yourself out about college," said Monique.  
"Yeah, I don't want to hear a word about it until April when the acceptance letters come flying in." Ruby held out her pinkie finger. "Pinkie swear?"  
"Oh, gosh," said Ren, and hooked her pinkie around Ruby's. She rested her head on Ruby's shoulder and hugged her friend. "Okay, I promise not to stress out about it anymore."  
"Good," said Ruby, and stole two of Monique's French fries.  
  
Travis rang the doorbell to the Stevens house just as Ren emerged from the bathroom into her bedroom, where Monique and Ruby were sitting on her bed.  
"Oh, you look absolutely gorgeous," Ruby breathed.  
"Yeah, Ren, you're so pretty," said Monique.  
"Thanks, girls." Ren smoothed down her dark blue dress, around which she had wrapped an iridescent silvery shawl. Ruby was sporting a strapless two-piece dress made of satiny green material, and Monique wore a form- fitting powder-pink gown with thick straps and high heels to match. They had all gotten their makeup and hair done together earlier.  
"Ren!" Eileen called from the foyer. "Your date is here!"  
Ren, Monique, and Ruby clomped down the stairs in their heels, and Ren was greeted by a grinning Travis sporting a dark grey suit and a blue tie that almost perfectly matched Ren's dress. From behind his back he pulled out a white corsage and slipped it onto Ren's wrist. Ren hugged his head to her chest and he kissed her hand as she pulled away. "You look beautiful," he said softly.  
"Aww," Monique and Ruby moaned hopelessly behind Ren.  
"All right, girls, let's go," said Ren.  
"Oh, honey, I have to take a picture!" Eileen exclaimed. "All of you look so pretty, and handsome," she added to Travis. She dashed into the kitchen and came back holding a camera. Quickly inching the three girls and Travis into place, posed on the staircase, she snapped three pictures in a row.  
"I hope Travis can still drive us after that flash," said Monique wearily as she wandered off the staircase, blinking rapidly.  
"You have a good time, now," said Eileen as they filed out the door. "And be safe!" She closed the door behind them and went back into the den, where Louis sat listlessly on the couch, playing video games on the TV.  
"Louis, would you like to help me hand out candy?" Eileen asked.  
"No thanks," said Louis, and continued to stare at the TV.  
"Are you all right, sweetheart? Are you coming down with a cold or something?"  
"No."  
"Would you like me to make you anything?"  
Louis switched off the TV and said, "No, Mom, I don't want anything. Could you please leave me alone?" He opened the kitchen door and stepped out into the backyard, slamming the screen door behind him.  
Eileen watched out the window as Louis kicked a stick across the yard. She shook her head and began loading plates into the dishwasher. 


	6. Chapter Five

Tawny adjusted her wings and straightened her black miniskirt, then took a deep breath and rang Tom's doorbell. Pachelbel's "Canon in D" echoed through the house, and a few seconds later a harried Mrs. Gribalski pulled open the door. "Hello," she said, "you must be Tawny. I was just finishing up baking a few things. Come on in, come on in."  
Tawny stepped into the house and scoped out the entryway. Pictures of Tom at various ages hung all over the walls leading up the staircase and into the kitchen, and even baby pictures of Tom sat in frames on top of two small, round tables. Various ribbons and medals were strewn over the picture frames, and on an overhang above the stairs Mr. and Mrs. Gribalski's college bachelors, masters, and doctorate degrees were displayed in plain view.  
"Mother, is she here?" Tom called from his room.  
"Yes she is, Thomas. Come on down and greet your guest." Mrs. Gribalski emerged from the kitchen wearing oven mitts and holding a large tray of cookies.  
Tom trampled down the stairs, tying his vampire cape in place, and eyed Tawny's outfit: red devil horns with a halo hanging over them rested on her head, and she wore a white t-shirt to which were strapped a furry, glittery pair of wings over a black miniskirt, red tights, and pointy black shoes. "I'm the devil in disguise," Tawny explained.  
"Oh." Tom chuckled. "I see." He smiled at her and bared his glow- in-the-dark fangs. "Well, are you ready for the fun to begin? Mother?"  
"We usually don't get many trick-or-treaters, so we spend a quiet evening playing chess and other board games," Mrs. Gribalski told Tawny.  
"And of course, we watch lots of scary movies," said Tom. He raised his hands in the air creepily, making them into claws. "Prepare to be terrified!"  
"I see," said Tawny.  
"Would you like a cookie, dear? They're still warm." Mrs. Gribalski held the tray of orange-frosted cookies in front of Tawny's face. Tawny took a cookie and smiled politely.  
"We don't have to stay inside if you don't want to," Tom interjected quickly. "We could go trick-or-treating for awhile. It's a beautiful evening."  
"All right," Tawny agreed, "if it's okay with you, Mrs. Gribalski."  
"Sure. You kids have fun. Just be back before the witching hour!"  
Tom opened his front door and a shrill mechanic scream blasted through the front hall. "Whoops," Tom apologized, "I guess I accidentally stepped on our screaming mat." He gestured for Tawny to go out the door first and then shut the door securely behind them. "I'm sorry about Mother," said Tom. "I love her, but she gets a little overprotective sometimes. I'm her only child, you know."  
"Yeah, I'm an only child too," said Tawny.  
"Oh, really?" said Tom.  
"Yeah."  
They walked halfway down the block and turned the corner. "Are you cold?" Tom asked.  
"No, I'm fine," Tawny replied.  
"I could give you my cape if you're cold," Tom offered.  
"It wouldn't fit over my wings anyway," Tawny laughed.  
"Oh," said Tom suddenly. "I forgot to bring a pillowcase. Now we'll have nothing to put our candy in."  
"It's okay," said Tawny. "We can eat it as we go."  
They continued down the sidewalk, passing a group of kids, and then the path turned into a hill. As they started on the incline, Tawny grabbed Tom's hand impulsively and said, "Look."  
Tom turned his head in the direction Tawny was looking and saw the roof of Lawrence Junior High poking up out of the valley. "Our old stomping grounds," Tom recalled. "You want to go visit it?"  
"Ugh, that place just sends shivers up my spine," said Tawny. "Junior high sucked."  
"I agree," said Tom. "I was always getting picked on and bullied. It's a good thing I knew kung-fu."  
"Funny how, every time I pass it, I want to go back," said Tawny. She felt Tom's hand grow warm under hers and realized that she had been holding it the entire time. She slowly drew her hand away from his.  
Tom went around to the back of the school building and sat at one of the benches designated for lunch. Tawny sat across from them. "Gosh, these are so tiny," she said. "How did I ever fit my legs under here?"  
Tom laughed, and then his expression turned serious. "I'm glad I came back. I believe in confronting the past instead of running away from it."  
"You were really that miserable?" Tawny asked.  
"Mother put me into therapy for a few months in eighth grade," said Tom. "She wanted to give me more confidence."  
"Yeah, I remember going home from school and crying in my room like three days a week." Tawny's breath drifted icily into the air. She wrapped her arms around herself and leaned forward. "It was pretty bad."  
"You always seemed like you were doing okay to me," said Tom. "I mean, you would compose morbid poetry and read it in front of the school." Tawny laughed. ".But you and Louis and Twitty were always having fun together."  
"They saved my life at this place," Tawny remarked.  
"Oh."  
Tawny shook her head. "Sorry. We shouldn't be talking about such depressing things on Halloween, I guess. You want to go get candy?"  
"Nah, I'm not really hungry."  
"Me neither."  
The short pause turned into a long silence, and a few moments later Tom and Tawny found themselves staring aimlessly out into the city, their hands clasped in front of them on the cold wooden bench.  
  
By the time Louis made it to Zack's house, his chest was burning and he was gasping for breath. The sign on Zack's front door read "Come on In!" so Louis stepped inside and made his way into the main hall, where kids from his school were fluttering around the makeshift dance floor.  
"Hey, man, you showed up," Zack greeted Louis with a soft punch on the shoulder. "Did Twitty say he was coming?"  
"I don't know, man," said Louis. "I didn't talk to him about it."  
"Well, cool that you're here. Grab or beer or two. They're in the kitchen." Zack darted past Louis and hopped on a skateboard that was resting against the stairway banister and coasted across the wooden floor to the pool table at the other end of the room.  
Louis waded through the crushed beer cans and paper cups and made his way into the kitchen. Several kids who had attended Zack's last party recognized and greeted him, offering to pour him a drink. Louis took a cup and downed it, then crushed the cup in his hand and threw it aimlessly at the kitchen sink.  
"Weren't you the kid who got drunk last time?" a blond girl wearing pigtails in her hair and bunny ears asked Louis.  
"One of many," Louis replied.  
"No, you were the funny one." The girl extended her hand. "You wanna dance?"  
"Sure," said Louis.  
She grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor, then stood across from him and moved her hips and arms from side to side. "Come on, dance!"  
"So what's your name?" Louis asked as he tried to imitate her movements.  
"Mallory," the girl shouted over the music. "Yours?"  
"Louis. Louis Stevens."  
"Come on, Louis, loosen up! Get some more beer!" Mallory placed her hands on Louis' shoulders and guided him around the room.  
Louis picked up a cup of beer that was sitting on a table and tilted it into his mouth. Suddenly he spit it onto the floor. "Geez, what the hell is in this?" he cried.  
"Probably a cigarette," Mallory told him. "You wanna go outside and smoke a joint? It's getting really noisy and crowded in here."  
Louis followed Mallory to Zack's deck and leaned against the rail, shivering in the night air. Mallory lit a match and held it against a cigarette. "You ever smoked before?"  
Louis shook his head.  
Mallory handed him the cigarette and lit one for herself. Louis took a tentative puff and nodded. "Not bad, not bad."  
Mallory blew a puff of smoke into the air. "So are you new to the party scene?"  
"Yeah, how can you tell?"  
"Zack's parties are pretty cool. You should come to more."  
"I'll definitely think about it," said Louis. "Yeah, my friends have become real losers lately."  
"I know what you mean," said Mallory, flicking cigarette ash onto the ground. "But we're cool here."  
Louis looked at his watch. "I better go home, my parents don't know where I am."  
"Stay and have a few more drinks," Mallory encouraged. "Come on. It's Saturday night. It's Halloween. Relax." 


	7. Chapter Six

Travis dipped the claw-shaped ladle into the bubbling green punch and spooned it into a black plastic cup. He handed the cup to Ren and she held it at arm's length, turning it around and around in her hand.  
"You think they used artificial flavoring in this thing?" Travis asked her jokingly.  
Ren groaned and set her cup down on the table. "You know, I was supposed to organize this dance and it turned into a joke."  
"It's not so bad," said Travis. "Look, some people are having a good time."  
Ren turned her head to look at the dance floor, where Monique and her date Drake were unsuccessfully attempting to break-dance to Michael Jackson's "Thriller." Drake climbed on top of Monique and she toppled to the floor, giggling, as he gave her kisses up and down her neck. Ruby had backed a guy and a girl into a corner and was gossiping up a storm as she sipped a virgin Bloody Mary. A group of boys danced as the Village People were performing the YMCA dance non-stop and out of synch.  
"I thought this was going to be romantic," said Ren.  
"Look, do you want to ditch this place?" Travis asked. "If you're not happy we can go and get pancakes or something."  
Ren couldn't help chortling. "How are Monique and Ruby going to get rides home?"  
"They can hitch a ride from Drake. He seems like a pretty . cool guy."  
"Well aren't you supposed to be taking pictures for the yearbook?" Ren asked. "You've only taken two so far."  
Travis took his camera out of its pouch and snapped three pictures of the "Village people," took a few more random shots of the dance floor, and then held the camera up to Ren's face and took one picture of her.  
"Travis!" Ren protested as the camera flashed in her eyes.  
"Well, I got my pictures. Come on, let's go." Travis took Ren's hand and led her out to the parking lot. They got in his car and he drove down the road, trying not to run over a group of trick-or-treaters that were blocking his way.  
"What is so fun about trick-or-treating anyway? It's so pointless. You can go buy bags of candy for one dollar at the candy store any time of year," said Ren.  
"You used to go trick-or-treating, didn't you?" Travis asked.  
"Not since fifth grade," said Ren.  
Travis drove into the parking lot of a restaurant that had orange paper and witch decals covering the windows. Signs listed prices for Halloween specials, accompanied by enlarged photographs of pancakes decorated like witch faces and scrambled eggs shaped like ghosts.  
"No," said Ren firmly. "I am not eating here. I don't want to hear or see another thing about Halloween again this year. Homecoming's already been ruined for me."  
"There's always prom," said Travis as he exited the parking lot.  
"Yeah, if we get lucky maybe it'll fall the day before Easter, and we can have an egg scavenger hunt and sit on the Easter bunny's lap," said Ren.  
"Let's just go to my house, then," said Travis. "We didn't put up a single decoration this year. My little sisters are spending the night at a friend's house and my parents are at some costume party. We can just chill and watch a movie or something."  
"That sounds so good right now," said Ren.  
Travis drove to his house and pulled into his driveway, then helped Ren out of the car.  
"Wow, you've cleaned your room," Ren observed when she saw Travis' school papers neatly stacked on his desk, his bed made, and the many pictures he had taken hung on a clothesline strung across the wall over his bed.  
"Yeah, I thought it was time to humor my mom and make this space presentable." Travis kicked off his shoes and stretched out on his bed.  
"Oh, no," said Ren, "I don't have any comfortable clothes to change into. Would you mind driving me home so I could get some?"  
"You could wear a pair of my boxers and one of my t-shirts," Travis offered. "I mean, you're skinny, but I think they would fit you." Travis crossed to his closet and pulled out some clothes for Ren.  
"Thanks." Ren took the shirt and boxers and went into the bathroom off of Travis' room to change. She came out of the bathroom a few seconds later with the boxers on under her dress and placed her shoes in front of Travis' closet. "Hey, could you help me unzip my dress? Sorry, I just can't reach that far back."  
The hairs on Ren's neck stood up as she felt Travis' fingers pulling at her zipper. He undid the clasp at the top of her dress and yanked the zipper down.  
"Okay, that's enough, that's enough!" Ren laughed. "I can get it from there."  
She turned around and Travis gave her a half-smile. Then he pulled her close to him and kissed her on the lips. She kissed him back. "You look so beautiful," Travis whispered.  
Ren tensed up as Travis put his hands around her waist. She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned into his neck, stroking his hair. "You smell good."  
"Thanks," said Travis. He pushed away from her and they both looked each other in the eyes. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"  
"What?" Ren asked.  
"Well," said Travis, shyly backing up toward his bed, "we are alone, and we've been going out for a few years, and we're both eighteen, and it's homecoming night."  
"Travis," said Ren, not knowing what to think.  
"Ren," said Travis.  
Ren caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the wall across from her and almost laughed. The straps on her dress hung loosely around her shoulders and the skirt was bunched into Travis' boxers.  
"Are you sure?" Ren asked him.  
"Not if you aren't," he said.  
Ren sighed. "Oh my God. This is it, isn't it?"  
"Yeah, I didn't really imagine it would be like this, but I think it is." Travis took a deep breath and leaned further into his bed.  
Ren slid out of her dress and plucked it off the floor, folding it up, and hung it over the back of Travis' desk chair. She took a deep breath and sat on the bed next to Travis. "Do you have."  
"Yeah, don't worry about it." Travis reached over to his nightstand and pulled open the top drawer. He took out a plastic wrapper and crinkled it in his hand. "You really want to do this?"  
Ren nodded, pressing her face against his.  
Travis bolted out of bed, locked the door, and flipped off the lights.  
  
"I am so wasted." Louis clutched his head and sat down in one of Zack's chairs in the living room.  
"You don't handle your alcohol well," Mallory observed. "Do you want to go home?"  
"No, I'm cool," Louis insisted. "I just want to sit here for a second."  
"Geez, man, you're making my party really lame," Zack told him. "My parents are gonna be home in like two hours, you gotta help me clean up."  
Louis tilted his head upwards and tried to focus on Zack's face. "I'm not lame."  
"He just has to get used to this," said Mallory.  
"Well get used to it fast. You owe me twenty bucks for the beer, by the wall." Zack tossed an empty beer can into the black garbage bag he was carrying through the house and pushed Mallory's feet off the table.  
"What? It's Halloween, man, that stuff should be free," said Louis, stifling a yawn.  
"Okay, come on, sleepy boy, you're going home and sleeping off that alcohol." Mallory hoisted Louis out of his seat and put his arm around her neck. "Where do you live, anyways?"  
"Near Lawrence," said Louis.  
"Oh, you're one of the Lawrence kids. That explains it. You walked all the way here?"  
"Yeah."  
  
"Oh my God," said Ren when Travis turned on the lights. "Oh my God."  
"I know. I know," said Travis. He sat on the edge of the bed and clasped her hands in his.  
"I have to go home," said Ren. "I'm sorry."  
"Okay. Do you want me to drive you?"  
"Thanks, yeah." Ren quickly changed back into her dress and ran her hands through her hair. "Do I look okay?" She tried to smooth the creases in her dress.  
"You look wonderful."  
They hurried out of the house and climbed into Travis' car. Travis backed into the street and then pulled over by the curb. He sighed and looked Ren in the eyes. "Did you . are you . happy?" he asked her.  
Ren smiled. "Yes."  
"Freaked out?"  
"A little."  
"Me too."  
Travis drove Ren home, and Ren stopped him a few blocks from her house. She unbuckled her seatbelt and said, "I had a great night. That was magical."  
"See? Not a bad Halloween after all, huh?" Travis asked.  
Ren shook her head. "Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek and climbed out of his car, mesmerized. She began walking slowly toward home.  
Louis and Mallory stumbled onto the sidewalk in front of Ren.  
"Whoa, watch it!" said Ren.  
Mallory turned around to give Ren a dirty look and Ren caught sight of Louis face. "Louis?" she cried.  
"Oh, hey, sis," said Louis, looking over Ren's shoulder.  
"I'm over here," Ren told him, pulling his chin toward her. "What are you doing?"  
"Being drunk," Louis replied.  
"Gee, I can see that," said Ren sarcastically. "You are going to be in so much trouble with Mom and Dad. And I am not letting you ruin my night." She stormed past him, her heels clunking down the sidewalk toward the Stevens house.  
"What's her problem?" Mallory asked.  
  
Louis slammed open the kitchen door and closed it loudly behind him, rattling the windows. He steadied himself on the counter and walked across the room to the refrigerator.  
"Louis, what are you doing?" Eileen's voice came from behind him.  
"Just getting some juice," Louis replied, opening the refrigerator and removing a bottle of ketchup. He twisted the lid off the plastic bottle and squeezed a stream of thick red liquid into his mouth. "Mm, tomato juice."  
"Louis, go to bed," said Eileen. "We need to have a talk tomorrow."  
Louis wiped his sleeve across his face and turned to face his mother. "Whatever you say, Mom. Whatever you say. You are the boss, after all."  
"Louis, I'm disappointed in you," Eileen sighed. "What were you thinking? Where did you go? I don't even want to talk to you right now. Just go up to your room."  
"All right." Louis tripped on the bottom step and crawled upstairs, then made his way to his room on all fours.  
"Drunk," said Eileen. "He's drunk. What's happened to my baby?"  
"He became stupid," Ren replied.  
Eileen turned around to see Ren sitting in the den, wearing pajamas and flipping through the TV channels.  
"Oh, honey, how was homecoming?"  
Ren shrugged, trying to conceal her expression from her mother. "It was all right."  
"Fun?"  
"Sure," said Ren.  
"Well, that's good," said Eileen. "I'm going to bed, honey. Would you mind going to the mall or somewhere tomorrow? I think Steve and I need to have some alone time with Louis."  
"No problem, Mom," said Ren. 


	8. Chapter Seven

Steve and Eileen sat on the couch. Louis sat on the chair, picking at a loop in the fabric. Steve cleared his throat, and Eileen looked at him expectantly.  
"Louis, we don't consider ourselves strict parents," Steve began.  
"And we know you're a teenager and you're experimenting," said Eileen.  
"But this has gone too far," Steve concluded.  
"Honey, we know you have big goals in life, but we just don't see what you're accomplishing by never doing your homework and going out and getting drunk on the weekends," Eileen said.  
"Mom, I've only gone to parties twice," said Louis. "Twitty invited me to the first one and the second one was a Halloween party. I won't do it again, okay?"  
"How can we make sure of that? We're not going to lock you in the house, Louis," said Steve.  
"I don't see why you care so much about my grades if I'm not even going to college," Louis replied.  
"Maybe we could understand you not wanting to go to college if you had some kind of plan for your future," Eileen told him.  
"How do you know I don't?"  
"Because we never see you working on anything, not your school work, not your life goals, nothing," Steve said.  
"We're all very concerned about you," Eileen added.  
"I know, Mom, I know. All you do is get on me about not being like Ren," said Louis.  
"We haven't said anything about Ren," Steve said sternly.  
"Well you act like it," said Louis. "I don't have to be busy seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day like she is, okay? I have my own agenda."  
"We're not saying you can never have leisure time," Eileen said, "we just think you could put together a schedule. You could include an hour of homework, and then you could do whatever you wanted for the rest of the day."  
"Louis, your mother and I really want you to take that job opportunity over the summer," said Steve. "Maybe if you do that we can negotiate with you about college. You know, my sister has some connections in Los Angeles. She might be able to set you up with some comedy clubs."  
"Why can't I do that now?" Louis wanted to know.  
"Because we want you to get an education," said Eileen.  
"Would you at least think about it?" Steve asked.  
"How long would it be for?"  
"Two months."  
"So what, I can't hang out with my friends all summer? This is the last summer we all get to spend together before they go off to college," Louis pointed out.  
"Who, Alan?" said Eileen. "I'm sure he'll be staying around."  
"I have other friends," said Louis. "Tom. And Zack. Mallory."  
"Is this about Tawny?" Steve asked.  
"No!" Louis shouted.  
"All right." Eileen patted Steve's hand. "We don't have to talk about that."  
"We've noticed that you've been depressed since Tawny broke up with you," said Steve.  
"I don't care about Tawny. She can do what she wants with her life," said Louis.  
"I'm sure she'd be friends with you again if she saw you were getting your life on track," Eileen told him.  
"I said I don't care about her."  
"Go on up to your room, son. And we'd better not hear the TV or stereo on," said Steve, rising from the couch. "We'll call you down for dinner."  
"Do you think he is that depressed about Tawny?" Eileen asked.  
"Of course. The two of them have been attached at the hip since middle school." Steve dipped his finger into a jar of peanut butter and licked it off. "He'll get over it, though. Boys always do."  
"She doesn't even want to talk to him anymore, did you know that?" said Eileen. "She wants him to focus on his own life instead of hers."  
"She doesn't know how stubborn he is," said Steve. "But he'll come around. Once he goes to that job shadow this summer, he'll come back a changed man. Don't you worry."  
  
"So Ren, what did you and Travis do after you sneaked away during the homecoming dance?" Monique raised her eyebrows and winked at Ren from across the table as she nibbled on a carrot stick.  
Ren, Tawny, Ruby, and Monique were sitting at their usual lunch table. It had become a tradition for them to sit there together. Tawny enjoyed finally having female friends, even though she wasn't used to gossiping much. She let out a small giggle to let Ren know she was interested in the conversation. She was also eager to share details about her night with Tom, but from the sounds of the conversation she would have to wait awhile to do so.  
"Nothing," Ren replied seductively.  
"Oh my God, you didn't do nothing, did you?" Ruby gasped.  
"Maybe I did something." Ren twisted her napkin uncomfortably.  
"Oh, tell, tell," Ruby begged.  
"Yeah, you all know what I did on Saturday," said Monique.  
"Well at the dance Drake was practically on top of you," Ruby snorted.  
Ren looked over to Tawny. Tawny smiled at her. "It was a good night," said Ren.  
Ruby and Monique started shrieking, then covered their mouths and looked at each other ecstatically.  
"Was that your first time, Ren?" Monique asked.  
"Yes," said Ren quietly.  
"Aww, that is so sweet. On homecoming night!" Ruby cooed.  
"No, it was kind of stupid," said Ren. "And totally unplanned for."  
"Look at Tawny, she looks confused," Monique laughed.  
"What?" said Tawny, trying to twist her face into a normal expression.  
"You have no idea what we're talking about, do you?" Monique asked in a motherly tone.  
"I do now," Tawny retorted.  
"Oh yeah, how was your Halloween?" Ruby asked. "Did you hang out with Tom?"  
"Yeah, it was pretty nice," said Tawny.  
"Did you kiss?" Monique asked.  
"What? No!" Tawny brushed the notion away by waving her hand in the air.  
"Not even close. We went back to Lawrence and just . looked out into the city."  
"Oh, how romantic," said Ruby.  
"You two are hopeless," Ren commented.  
"So do you think there's a future for you two?" Ruby looked intently at Tawny.  
"I don't know," said Tawny. She popped a grape in her mouth and chewed for a few seconds. When she swallowed, she said, "Maybe."  
Ruby clapped her hands together.  
"But I don't want to take it too fast," said Tawny.  
"Definitely not," Ren advised.  
"I mean, we've always been kind of friends, and we get along pretty well, but we are really different," said Tawny. "And he and his mom are like this." She held up her index and middle finger crossed over each other to demonstrate. "So I don't know. I'm not really looking for a relationship right now."  
"You are still in the rebound from Louis," Monique said.  
"I know, but Louis and I were never really officially going out, we were just." Tawny rolled her eyes in frustration. "I don't know what we were."  
"Are you still talking to Twitty?" Ren asked.  
"A little. He's in my math class. The situation between is us kind of tense, though."  
"My parents are being really strict with Louis now," said Ren. "I guess he went to some parties and came home drunk."  
Ruby gasped. "Oh my gosh, that's so sad."  
"Yeah, he used to be so spunky," said Monique.  
Travis walked by the girls' table and Monique and Ruby both said perkily, "Travis!"  
Travis turned his head in surprise and beamed when he caught sight of Ren. "Hello, girls."  
"Hi, Travis," Monique and Ruby drawled simultaneously.  
"Hey, babe." Travis kissed Ren briefly on the lips.  
"Hi. How are you doing?" Ren asked. "Here, pull up a seat."  
"It's okay, my lunch period's over in a few minutes. I have architectural design class in a few minutes."  
"That's so cute," said Ruby.  
"Yeah, I know. Gives me a chance to show off my manliness," Travis chuckled with a tinge of sarcasm.  
"I think you've already proved that," Monique snickered.  
"Monique!" Ren and Ruby shouted, and then they both burst into giggles.  
Redness crept across Travis' face and he turned his head slightly to try to hide it.  
"So, Travis," said Tawny to break the silence, "do you like most of your classes?"  
"Yeah, they're okay. I have mostly new ones next semester, so I'm kind of glad some of them are almost over."  
"Cool," said Tawny.  
"I'm Travis, by the way." Travis extended his hand to Tawny. "I don't think we've met."  
"Tawny Dean," said Tawny.  
"Well it's nice to meet you, Tawny. I have to get to class," he told Ren. He held her hand for a second and then squeezed it and let it go. "I'll see you later, Ren. Ruby. Monique. Bye, Tawny."  
"He has a cute butt," Ruby nodded as Travis walked away.  
"Okay, could we please not talk about Travis or his body parts anymore?" Ren asked, burying her head under one arm.  
"I'm sorry," said Ruby.  
"I'm sorry you had to see that, Tawny," Ren apologized.  
"Yeah, hide those virgin eyes," said Monique.  
"It's okay," Tawny assured them.  
"Well, girls, I am really looking forward to this weekend," said Ruby. "My mom said she's been getting tons of customers since her beauty parlor opened."  
"Oh, that's great," said Ren.  
"Yeah, she says she has tons of stuff for us to do," said Ruby. "So Tawny, did you like it?"  
"Yeah, it was nice. I might get my eyebrows waxed there sometime or something," said Tawny. "Um, I have to go to class now. I should probably finish this homework that I started. Anyway, see you guys later."  
"See you," said Ren.  
"She's a nice girl. We gotta get her and Tom together," Monique resolved.  
"Don't push it," said Ren. "She's only sixteen and she just broke up with her first boyfriend. Sort of."  
"I know, but you know how Monique and I are renowned for our matchmaker qualities," Ruby pointed out.  
Ren laughed. "Well, anyway, I know I will be in a much better mood this weekend because I finally got the rest of my college applications in the mail."  
"Wow, congratulations," said Ruby.  
"I know," said Ren. "Now I have to wait until April."  
"But you're not freaking out," said Ruby.  
"No."  
"Then we're going to have fun," Monique promised. 


	9. Chapter Eight

Tawny ran into Tom for the first time since Halloween at her locker on Friday. She closed the door and there he was, standing on the other side. "Tom!" Tawny jumped back a few inches in surprise. "Hi."  
"Hello," Tom replied. "Are you headed to a class?"  
"Psychology," Tawny replied. "You?"  
"Cognitive physics," said Tom. "I'm headed down to the south hallway."  
"Which is.?" Tawny inquired.  
"Room 407."  
"Oh, cool, I'm going to room 430."  
Tawny matched Tom's footsteps as he walked briskly down the hall toward his class.  
"Hey, Tom," said Tawny, stopping Tom just in front of room 407 by gently tapping his arm. "Do you want to do something this weekend?"  
"Well, I don't know," Tom started. "I have a chess match on Saturday, and on Sunday Mother and I are going to a harvest festival in San Francisco."  
"It's okay, then," Tawny said quickly. "Maybe some other time."  
"How about next weekend?" Tom asked. "I have an essay due the next Monday but I can do it all on Friday if I work for four hours straight."  
"Really? No, Tom, I don't want you to do that," said Tawny. "You know, forget about it, it's fine."  
"No, really, it's cool," Tom assured her, testing out the word on his tongue. "Cool," he repeated smartly.  
Tawny laughed. "Okay, cool," she said. "My house on Saturday at one? Do you know where I live?"  
"Sure," said Tom.  
"Okay," said Tawny.  
The bell rang, and Tom said, "Well, I'd better get to class."  
"Me too."  
"Bye."  
"See you later."  
"All right."  
"Okay." Tawny bounced on her heels. "Okay, see you later."  
"Later," said Tom, and slipped into his classroom.  
Tawny smiled smugly and dashed down the hall toward her next class.  
  
"Ren, we're having dinner as a family tonight," Eileen formed Ren as Ren slid on her coat to go out to her car.  
"Mom, I'm going to the Sacramento State library to study. I have a huge term paper due in three weeks," said Ren. "I don't know if I'll be back in time."  
"We need to have a family discussion," Eileen hissed, almost in a whisper. "About Louis. Haven't you noticed he's just been sulking around the house for the past few weeks?"  
"Mom," Ren sighed.  
"Ren, please," Eileen pleaded. "I'm supposed to be working on my campaign, too, but I'm setting it aside for your brother. He needs our support."  
"Okay, fine. I'll be back in an hour and a half."  
Eileen served a large dinner of hamburgers with baked potatoes and salads on the side, and she even placed a rack of brownies on the counter for dessert. It was obvious she wanted to keep everyone at the table for as long as possible, and Ren was eager to finish her essay, but she sat silently as her parents bickered with Louis.  
"Mom, I'm not screwing up my life," Louis insisted. "Can't you just back off for five minutes instead of bringing this up every week?"  
"We're just trying to help you, Lou," said Steve. "We don't want to fight with you."  
"We want to have a rational family discussion," said Eileen. "With everyone."  
"Donnie's not here," said Louis.  
"That's because he's in Texas," said Eileen.  
"Louis, if you just do what Mom and Dad tell you they'll leave you alone," said Ren, picking at her cold hamburger bun.  
"Shut up," said Louis.  
"Louis!" Eileen warned.  
"Just because she's Little Miss Perfect doesn't mean I have to be some super genius too," said Louis. "And I'm submitting my resume to comedy clubs online."  
"Oh that's just great!" Steve slammed his fork down on the table. "You're working so hard to achieve your goals, Louis."  
"What? At least I'm doing something!"  
"All right, you two, settle down," said Eileen. "The reason I wanted all of us here is because we're all going to devise a schedule for Louis, and every time he follows it he'll get rewarded."  
"What, like a circus monkey?" asked Louis.  
"Yeah, Mom, isn't that a little juvenile?" said Ren.  
"If he wants to act like a child he'll be treated as one," Eileen said simply. "We'll start simply. As soon as you come home from school you will sit down at the dining room table and do some kind of homework, supervised, for one hour. After that you can do whatever you want."  
"What if I don't have any homework?" Louis asked.  
"Then we'll get the phone numbers of all your teachers and call them to make sure," said Steve.  
Louis opened his mouth to protest, but Eileen said, "If you do your homework for one month, and your grades start going up or you get good reports from your teachers, then we'll consider trying to get you an agent by Christmas."  
"No promises, though," said Steve.  
"Then what?" asked Louis.  
"Then next semester, if you get at least Cs in all of your classes and help do chores around the house, we'll get you a car at the end of the year," said Eileen.  
Louis' eyes widened. "Serious?"  
"Serious." Steve held up one arm in promise.  
"And you and the rest of the family have to get along," said Eileen. "Every time you have a fight with Ren, your father, or me, both parties will be punished."  
"Hey," said Ren.  
Eileen interjected, "That's how this family works. We all have to get along to foster a positive environment."  
"So you're going to punish yourself if you yell at me?" Louis asked.  
"That's right. Every time I yell at you I'll take away privileges from both you and myself," said Eileen. "I'll cut back on one of my shopping trips or I'll do Ren's laundry for her. And you'll lose the right to play video games or have access to one of our cars on the weekends."  
"But we'll only let you have that access once your grades start going up," said Steve.  
"So if I start a fight with Ren, you'll punish her," Louis clarified.  
"You and her both," Steve confirmed.  
"Sweet," said Louis.  
"But you more." Ren glared at Louis.  
"Not necessarily," said Eileen. "So can we all come to this simple agreement? Louis, one hour of homework per day. If you tell us you have no homework we will be calling your teachers, and if one of them says you were assigned homework, we're going to start taking away your privileges."  
"What if I don't get all my homework done in an hour?" Louis asked.  
Ren rolled her eyes. "Okay, this is ridiculous. He is just asking for it."  
"Quiet," Steve told Ren. "Louis, you only have to do an hour of homework a night, even if you don't finish it. But you have to motivate yourself and work hard during that hour. And if your grades don't go up in your classes, no rewards."  
"Fine," Louis agreed. "I'll do it."  
"Good," said Steve.  
"It starts on Monday," said Eileen, "so you have the weekend to screw around as much as you want before you buckle down."  
"Well for your information, this weekend me and Twitty are helping his cousin build a house," said Louis.  
"Oh really?" Steve asked.  
"Yeah, it'll be fun," said Louis.  
"And good practice for your job shadowing this summer," Steve added.  
"Maybe," Eileen reminded him. She turned and smiled at Louis. "We won't push it, sweetie."  
"You're really building a house?" Ren asked Louis.  
"Yeah, then we're gonna hang out," said Louis.  
"Okay, whatever," said Ren. "May I be excused, now? I have a bunch of homework that I need to catch up on."  
"Go on, sweetie," said Eileen. "I'm glad we got to have this family talk."  
Ren cleared her plate and went up to her room.  
Louis followed Ren and tapped on her door frame.  
"What?" Ren asked, opening the door slightly.  
"Is Tawny hanging out with you?" Louis wanted to know.  
"Kind of. Why?"  
Louis shrugged. "I just wondered."  
"She sits with us at lunch," Ren told him. "It's not a big deal."  
"No, I know, I know," said Louis. "How's she doing?"  
Ren pulled the door open the rest of the way. "She's fine. Now I really need to do homework. Why don't you go do some, too?"  
"I don't have to do any homework until Monday," said Louis.  
Ren groaned and shut the door in his face.  
  
"I must compliment your taste in artistic works," Tom said, his eyes fixated on Tawny's wall of paintings.  
"Oh, half of those are just mine," Tawny laughed, examining her room for traces of bras or any other embarrassing object in view. She straightened her comforter and sat down on it.  
"You painted some of these?" Tom asked.  
"A few of them."  
"Quite an accomplishment," Tom remarked. He joined Tawny on the bed and continued staring at her wall. "Which medium do you use?"  
"Oh, those two are pastel." Tawny pointed. "That one's acrylic. That one of the lake I just did in watercolor."  
"I am a man of art myself, but I don't go much beyond sketching," Tom admitted.  
"Oh my gosh, Tom, look what I found in my dresser." Tawny pulled out a thick photo album and opened it to the first page. "These are all pictures I took in middle school when my parents gave me a camera for my birthday. Remember the Lumberjack Club?"  
Tom shifted the heavy book toward him and examined the picture of Tawny, Louis, Twitty, and himself sporting goofy hats, suspenders, and flannel shirts and raising forkfuls of pancakes to their mouths with fake smiles. "We did have a fun time until Louis destroyed Principal Wexler's car."  
"Yeah." Tawny laughed. "Oh my gosh, here's the Sadie Hawkins dance. You went with that really popular girl!"  
"That was hilarious," Tom snorted. "She was way out of my league." He flipped the page. "Remember at the end of the night you and Louis got married?"  
Tawny's head snapped up. "Yeah," she said, closing the photo album. "I remember."  
Tom stared at the side of Tawny's face until she turned her head toward his. "I'm sorry," said Tom. "Do you miss him?"  
"Kind of," said Tawny. "But he's been such a jerk lately, I . I shouldn't be talking about this." She went over to her desk and rested her hands on the back of her chair.  
"You don't have to be afraid to talk to me, Tawny," said Tom.  
"Do you want to go downstairs? My mom said she'd make hot chocolate for us," said Tawny.  
"Okay," Tom agreed. "I do have a hankering for a warm drink."  
Tawny smiled at him and ushered him out of her room. 


	10. Chapter Nine

Louis brushed a drop of sweat out of his eyes and slammed his hammer against a piece of wood.  
"Easy there, buddy," Twitty told him.  
"How long does house-building take?" Louis asked.  
Twitty shrugged. "I don't know, man."  
"I'm thinking about ditching this place, going for a burger or something. You wanna come with?" Louis offered.  
"No, I promised my cousin I'd do this for him."  
"Where is your cousin anyways? Didn't he leave to get supplies like half an hour ago?"  
"Yeah, he did," said Twitty.  
"Don't we need a cement foundation or something before we put the frame up?" Louis asked. "My sister went on one of those community service trips to Mexico to build houses and she said all they did was pour cement."  
"Don't ask me, dude, I'm not the builder." Twitty tossed his head, flipping his hair out of his face. "Hey, are you gonna work at that car manufacturing place over the summer? 'Cause my dad said if I could restore his old car I could have it, and maybe, you know, you could apply your skills to help me or something."  
"Man, that would be sweet if you got that car," said Louis. "I don't know about the job shadowing, though, I'd have to go down to Texas for a few months."  
"Yeah, but dude, it would be so worth it," said Twitty.  
"All right, I'm back, I'm back," Twitty's cousin Jake announced, making his way over to Louis and Twitty carrying a brown sack. "I brought some drinks for us."  
"Hey, thanks, man, I'm really hot and thirsty," said Twitty.  
Jake handed a beer bottle to Louis and Twitty each and settled down on the ground with his own bottle opener.  
"Hey, I'm not supposed to drink," said Louis. "Me and my parents have this sort of agreement."  
"Well you can just have one drink," said Jake. "It won't kill you."  
"Yeah, dude, I have one beer all the time. There's hardly any alcohol in them," said Twitty.  
"Maybe we should just build the house, guys," said Louis.  
Jake laughed. "We're building a tool shed. It won't take that long."  
"A tool shed?" asked Louis.  
"Yeah, for my mechanics business," said Jake.  
"So we're unpaid labor that will profit your business," Twitty said.  
"You boys volunteered to help me out," said Jake.  
"Where's your business?" Louis wanted to know.  
"It's up on Maple, J & B's Auto Mechanics," said Jake. "You probably pass it going to school. You go to that ritzy place, right?"  
"Louis is interested in auto mechanics," Twitty told Jake. "He's really good at stuff like that. Maybe you should hire him in your shop instead of having him build a tool shed for you."  
"We need the help if you're interested," said Jake.  
"I don't know," said Louis. "I'm not very experienced."  
"Dude, you have rigged so many things," said Twitty. "He's amazing, man. He just learns stuff all by himself."  
"Sounds like just the person we need," said Jake.  
"Wait a minute." Louis looked from Jake to Twitty. "Did my parents set you up to come have me build this thing with you and then have you ask me to work for you?"  
"What?" said Jake.  
"They did, didn't they? They want you to manipulate me!" Louis cast an accusing glance at Twitty. "You know what, forget that, man. Forget it." He popped open the lid of his beer and took a swig of it. "I'm out of here."  
"He's too smart," said Twitty.  
  
"Okay, Tom." Tawny leaned halfway out her open front door as Tom was leaving her house. "Look, I know this afternoon was probably kind of awkward for you."  
"Not too much," said Tom.  
"I'm sorry if I acted weird," Tawny apologized. "I really want to get to know you, Tom. I just act shy around a lot of people. And I know I've known you since seventh grade, but it's different now, you know?"  
"Yeah." Tom stuck his hands in his pockets.  
"Maybe we can do this again sometime," said Tawny.  
"I still have my pizza oven. Perhaps some chow would allow you to loosen up," Tom joked.  
Tawny grinned. "That sounds great." She started to close the door, but Tom stopped her.  
"Tawny," he said. "Um . I've never had a girlfriend before."  
"Oh," said Tawny. "Yeah, I kind of figured."  
"Eheh." Tom coughed. "Um, pardon me for being abrupt, but do you think we have something here?"  
"Yeah," said Tawny, and quickly added, "Maybe."  
"I'll see you on Monday," said Tom.  
  
Louis stormed into the house and slammed the door behind him.  
"Louis!" Steve cried from the dining room. He opened the door to the kitchen and stood facing his son. "What's the problem, son?"  
"You know what the problem is," Louis told him. "You set me up with Twitty and his cousin guy. You know he has a mechanic shop and you wanted to get me interested in it!"  
"No, Louis," said Steve. He stuck his nose into the air and sniffed. "You have beer on your breath. Were you even out building that house or did you just ditch responsibility and go to a party again?"  
"I didn't drink!" Louis cried.  
"I think you have a lot of explaining to do, young man, and I would advise you go up to your room until your mother gets home."  
"You never want to talk! You never ask me if I have any problems, you just think I'm causing problems for you!" Louis screamed. "I'm getting the hell out of here."  
"Louis, watch your language," said Steve, "and tell me why you're ruining your life."  
"I'm not ruining my life, Dad. You are."  
"That is it. Our agreement's off. You don't have to do a damn thing but sit around here all day long and waste your life away." Steve threw his hands in the air resignedly. "You get no privileges, nothing. We're not talking about this anymore."  
"Stop overreacting, Dad!" Louis moved threateningly toward his father until they were nearly eye-to-eye. "You can't just call off our agreement when it hasn't even started yet."  
"Oh yes I can. I gave you chance after chance and you blew them all." Steve turned his back on Louis and walked back toward the dining room. Louis followed him.  
"You don't even know what I was doing out there. I was building the stupid tool shed and then I found out that you were deceiving me. What about that, huh?"  
"We'll talk about this later, Louis."  
"No! I want to talk about it now!" Louis insisted. "I want to talk about it now, Dad, without Mom or Ren or anyone around. I want to know why you have such a problem with me."  
"You have a problem with your attitude." Steve sat down opened his laptop. "I have a lot of work to do and I'm not going to neglect it like you do yours. Go on up to your room, Lou, and save me the trouble."  
"Fine, if you think I'm a lost cause I'll be one. I'm never going to school again and I'm not doing anything you say." Louis was furious. He felt like throwing his father's laptop against the wall. He banged his fist against the table instead.  
"Louis, that's enough. Stop throwing a hissy fit and go up to your room."  
Louis stomped up the stairs as loudly as he possibly could and slammed the door to his room so hard the windows shook. He sat back against his headboard and let the angry tears stream down his face until he buried his head in his pillow and fell into a restless sleep.  
  
The Stevens house was quiet for over a week. Ren got up to go to school every day and gently knocked on Louis' door, but he always returned a muffled, "Not going today." He stayed in his room all day, only leaving it to go to the kitchen and get a snack every few hours. After a few days the school administration called, but Louis' parents informed them that he would be gone for an unspecified amount of time.  
Louis had never been off of school for an indefinite period of time. He felt almost a renewal of energy, as if he should go out and conquer the world, but every morning all he could do was sit in front of his computer or TV and play games.  
On Friday Louis turned over in bed and glanced at the clock. It read 7:02. He wasn't used to waking up that early, but since he got so much sleep during the week he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes again. He hoisted himself out of bed and padded into the hall, where Ren was just closing the door to her room behind her. She stared straight ahead, her face blank and pale.  
"Aren't you going to make some comment about me being lazy or something?" Louis asked drowsily, smoothing down a cowlick.  
Ren took a deep breath. "Just leave me alone, Louis."  
"Hey, are you okay?" Louis asked, peering into Ren's eyes.  
"Yeah. I have to go to school. I have a meeting." Ren brushed past Louis, her arms swishing from side to side as she descended the stairs.  
At the drug store Ren darted down the aisles until she found the right one. She looked both ways several times to make sure no one was around, and then made her way down the aisles and paused in front of one of the shelves.  
Several rows of tests lined the narrow trip of metal. Ren picked one up, turning it over and reading the instructions printed on the package. She briefly checked the price and threw it into her shopping basket, then went into the candy aisle and dumped two bags of on-sale Halloween candy on top of it. At the register she tapped her foot as the cashier rang up her purchase and shoved her money into the cashier's hand as he handed her the plastic bag full of her items.  
In the parking lot Ren stuffed the contents of the bag in her purse and drove back home. Her father should have left for work by now, and her mother would probably be in her office. Ren had counted on Louis being asleep, though.  
She heard the shower running the upstairs bathroom and groaned. "Louis!" she shouted, pounding on the bathroom door. "Are you going to be out soon?"  
"I'm shaving!" Louis called back. A few seconds later he popped his wet head out of the bathroom door. Ren hid her purse behind her back and tried to plant a calm expression on her face. "What are you doing home from school anyways? I thought you had a meeting or something this morning."  
"I forgot something," Ren replied.  
"In the bathroom?"  
"Never mind." Ren closed the bathroom door and crept downstairs, heading toward the bathroom off the kitchen. Eileen was standing at the stove making eggs.  
"Hi, sweetheart. I thought you would be at school by now," said Eileen. "It's a quarter to eight."  
"It is?" Ren glanced at her watch. "I better go then, I guess."  
"Is everything all right, Ren? You look flustered. Are you sick?"  
"No, Mom, I'm fine."  
Ren removed the plastic bag from her purse in the car and opened one sack of chocolate. She unwrapped the candy and put it in her mouth, then stuffed it back in the bag and put the rest of the bag underneath the passenger seat.  
During her first period class Ren's hands were shaking so badly she could barely complete her timed write. She tried to read over what she had written but all she saw was a blue of ink in front of her face. She blinked and tried to read it over again, then gave up and turned her paper in, placing it on top of the small pile of papers that was accumulating on Mr. Callum's desk. She returned to her seat and stared at the front of the classroom.  
Ruby tapped Ren on the shoulder from behind her and Ren turned her head slightly.  
"Are you okay?" Ruby whispered.  
Ren sighed. "I don't know."  
Ruby wrinkled her brow, concerned. "Talk to me after class, okay?"  
Ren shifted in her seat uncomfortably until the bell rang, then strutted into the hallway. Ruby followed closely behind.  
"Hey, what's the matter?" said Ruby, stopping Ren in front of the door. She skirted out of the way of the students filing out of their English class.  
"It's nothing. Well, I don't know. It might be nothing," said Ren. She began walking toward her next class.  
"You look like a ghost," said Ruby. "What happened? Is it about your brother?"  
"No."  
"Travis?"  
"Kind of."  
"Oh, are you two breaking up?" Ruby asked.  
"Ruby, it's okay," Ren assured her.  
"Are you sure?" Ruby asked. "You know, Ren, I'm here if you need to talk. I may seem ditzy but I'll lend you an ear."  
"Oh, thanks." Ren stroked Ruby's shoulder lovingly. "Ruby, your next class is at the other end of the school. You don't have to walk with me, I'm okay."  
"If you insist," said Ruby. "I'll see you at lunch, okay?"  
The day went by in a blur. Ren felt dumb as she went from class to class. Her heart kept fluttering in her chest, and she had to tell herself to breathe. Most of her teachers and classmates asked her what was wrong, which just made the situation worse. At lunch she nearly choked on all her food, and finally gave up and pushed her tray away from her.  
"Ren, you have got to tell us what's wrong," said Monique.  
"Yeah, we promise we'll support you no matter what it is," said Ruby. "Is Travis cheating on you or something?"  
"No." Ren shook her head. "Tomorrow it'll all be okay. Just ignore me. You're just making it worse by bringing it up."  
"But we can see it's really bothering you," said Monique. "Tawny, doesn't she look pale?"  
Tawny lifted her chin from the palm of her hand and said, "Yeah, kind of."  
"What are you thinking about, girly, sitting there staring off into space?" Monique asked.  
"I bet I know what it is," said Ruby.  
"You guys," Tawny whined.  
"Tawny's in love," Monique drawled.  
"No, I'm not. I don't know," said Tawny.  
"You are so cute," said Ruby. "Have you and Tom kissed yet or anything?"  
"Not yet," said Tawny, "but I'm okay with that. We've both kind of agreed to take it slowly."  
"Extremely slow, I guess," said Monique.  
"That's good, Tawny," Ren advised. "Boys are way too complicated."  
"Yeah, if it's meant to be it's meant to be," said Ruby. "Hey, Ren, could I talk to you for a second over by the bulletin board?"  
Ren got up out of her seat and Ruby practically pulled her into the corner of the crowded lunchroom. "Sweetie, you're making me nervous. I want to know what's wrong."  
"Nothing's wrong," said Ren. "I just . I'm not sure about something."  
"You said it had something to do with Travis?" Ruby asked. "Does it have something to do with what happened on homecoming night?"  
Ren rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Yes," she said, her mouth set in a straight line.  
"Oh my God, you don't think you're."  
"I don't know, maybe," said Ren. "But I really don't think so, I'm just paranoid."  
"Well, you two used protection, right?"  
"Yes, Mother."  
"So you're probably not," Ruby reasoned.  
"No. I don't know."  
"Oh, sweetie, you need to take a test," said Ruby.  
"I know, I tried to take one this morning but Louis was in the bathroom upstairs and my mom was downstairs, and." Ren rubbed her temples.  
"Okay, don't freak out," said Ruby. "You bought a test? What kind was it?"  
"One of those early response ones," said Ren. "Ruby, I'm scared to take it."  
"How late are you?"  
"Just a few days. It's probably nothing, I just want to know."  
"I'll come home with you this afternoon, then," said Ruby. "We'll do it together. Okay? Don't worry."  
"I'll try not to." Ren laughed nervously.  
"It's going to be okay," Ruby assured her.  
Ren nodded and tried to smile. "Okay." 


	11. Chapter Ten

Ren stood by her car in the parking lot, waiting for Ruby. Her car keys jingled in her shaking hand. Ruby finally emerged from the school, walking alongside her friend Brittany and chatting. Ren rolled her eyes. "Ruby," she called, annoyed.  
Ruby looked up and nodded at Ren, then waved good-bye to Brittany and jogged toward Ren's car. "Oh sweetie, you look like a ghost," Ruby remarked.  
"I know. My drama teacher almost made me go to the nurse and get a pass home."  
"Well, you should have. You don't need this stress. Here, let me drive."  
Ren handed Ruby the keys and climbed into the passenger seat of her car. She tapped her foot all the way to her house. "I hope no one's home," she prayed.  
"We can go to my house if you want," Ruby offered. "My mom should be at work now, unless she came home for a late lunch break."  
"It's okay," said Ren. "I might need my own bed in a few minutes."  
Ruby stood guard in the kitchen as Ren slipped into the downstairs bathroom. Louis wandered into the kitchen as Ruby was pulling a bowl of grapes out of the refrigerator. "Hey, are these pre-washed?" Ruby asked Louis.  
"I don't know." Louis shrugged. "What are you doing here?"  
"Ren and I are doing an English project together," Ruby told Louis. "What have you been up to all day?"  
"My parents arranged a meeting with the principal to discuss my situation," Louis informed her. "Who is the principal of our school, anyways? I never see him."  
"Her," Ruby corrected him. "Principal Atkins."  
"That would be funny if she were fat," said Louis. "You know, with her name."  
Ruby gave him a sour face.  
Ren stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door securely behind her. When she spotted Louis she leaned her back against the door. "Hey, Louis."  
"Hey." Louis slapped a knife full of peanut butter onto a piece of bread and dumped the sticky snack onto a plate. "See you later, Ren. Ruby."  
"Thank God, he's gone," said Ruby. "So, did you take it?"  
"We have to wait three minutes," said Ren.  
"Are you nervous? Here, have a grape," Ruby offered.  
"No, I can't." Ren paced around the kitchen nervously. "Oh gosh, what time did I go in there? If we let it sit out too long it's going to give a false positive."  
"Ren, shh, it's okay. Louis is right upstairs," Ruby reminded her.  
"You're right. Okay."  
Ruby munched on grapes for a few minutes, and then Ren glanced at her watch nervously and took a deep breath. "Okay."  
"Is it time?" Ruby asked.  
Ren nodded.  
"All right, Ren, just remember that no matter what it says, I'm here for you, okay?" Ruby said quickly.  
"I'm scared," said Ren.  
"I know. Do you want me to look at it for you?" Ruby asked.  
"No, it's okay." Ren opened the bathroom door and shut it behind her. She glanced at her pale face in the mirror and tried to calm down. Picking up the test from the counter, she held it in front of her for a few seconds, not daring to look at it.  
"Ren?" Ruby called from outside the door.  
"Just a minute," said Ren. Her heart started pounding again. She forced the test in front of her face and jerked her neck to look down at it.  
Only one line showed up in the test window.  
"Oh my God." Ren threw open the bathroom door with a huge smile on her face. "It's negative!" she exclaimed as quietly as possible.  
"Oh, thank God." Ruby hugged Ren and glanced at the test herself. "How are we going to get rid of this thing without your parents seeing?"  
"Oh, crap, thanks for reminding me." Ren laughed. "Oh my gosh, I'm so relieved. I left the stupid package in the trash."  
Ruby and Ren dropped the test and its package in a dumpster and then drove down the street toward the mall, giggling the entire way.  
"I am so not doing homework today," said Ren.  
"Hey, are you going to tell Travis about this?" Ruby asked.  
"I don't know. Should I?"  
"You should be honest with him," was all Ruby could say.  
Ren placed her hands firmly on the steering wheel and concentrated on driving.  
  
Of course Ruby had to bring up Ren's pregnancy scare at lunch on Monday, in front of Tawny and Monique.  
"That must have been so scary," said Monique. "I'm so glad that's never happened to me."  
"Yeah, well, it won't happen again," Ren assured her. "I'm going to talk to Travis this afternoon."  
"You're not breaking up with him, are you?" Ruby asked.  
"No, we just need to talk about some things," said Ren. "But I think he'll understand, I mean, that was pretty scary."  
"Are you sure you're not pregnant, though?" asked Ruby. "Those things can give false negatives, you know."  
"No, I'm sure as of this morning," said Ren. "Never been so happy to get a little visitor in my life."  
Monique and Ruby laughed.  
"Tawny, do not complicate your life with sex," said Monique.  
"I agree," said Ren. "It'll only give you trouble."  
"Yeah, we all do things with boys and we all regret them," said Ruby, "so just don't get into that."  
"What? Ruby, you've never had sex," said Ren.  
"Yeah, but it's not like I haven't kissed a guy."  
"I don't think I have to worry about me and Tom," said Tawny. "We are taking things really slowly. We've barely spoken to each other since the beginning of the week."  
"Well you should ask him on a date, sweetie," Ruby told her. "If you like him you should pursue a relationship."  
"I thought you just said not to do that," said Tawny.  
"It's okay. She's young," said Monique.  
"I think it's sweet that you and Tom are really close friends," said Ren. "Don't rush it like you did with Louis."  
"Louis and I were friends for a long time before we ever did anything," Tawny protested.  
"But then you broke up after like one day because we freaked out when you tried to have a relationship," Ruby reminded her.  
"We were thirteen years old."  
"But you just set yourself up for a rocky relationship," said Ruby. "Look, I know I sound like a know-it-all, but I'm older and more experienced than you."  
"I doubt that," Ren muttered.  
"Hey!" said Ruby. "Tawny, I ran a gossip column for two years. Listen to me. Don't go too fast, but let him know how you feel. It's always good to be open with the guy, you know?"  
"I guess," said Tawny.  
  
Principal Atkins took a seat behind her desk in front of Louis, Eileen, and Steve, who were gathered in her office.  
"Thank you all for coming," she said. "Now Louis, I know you've been having a hard time with school lately, but that's no excuse to goof off in your classes and abandon your homework."  
"I know," said Louis.  
"Then why did you do it?" Principal Atkins wanted to know.  
"I think he feels like we want him to be just like his sister," Steve piped up.  
"Who's your sister?" Principal Atkins asked.  
"Ren Stevens," said Louis.  
"Ah, yes, her. Well, Louis, Ren is a very good student," Principal Atkins pointed out, "but that doesn't mean you have to do the opposite of what she does in order to get attention or distinguish yourself from her."  
"I know that," Louis said angrily.  
"Listen, Louis." Principal Atkins pulled open a file on her computer with a click of the mouse. "Regardless of your absence for the past week, your grades are still sufficient enough to get you into several different colleges and institutions. You have many options for your future."  
"That's nice to hear," said Eileen, "isn't it, honey?"  
"I don't plan on going to college," said Louis. "I want to move to Hollywood and become a comedian."  
"That's a lofty goal." Principal Atkins chuckled. "Have you ever thought about attending college in Los Angeles and pursuing your goal at the same time?"  
"That won't work," Louis insisted. "Then I'll get too caught up in my school work and I'll be forced to pick some career and I'll never get anything else done."  
"It doesn't have to be like that, Louis," Principal Atkins told him. "Listen, if you continue the way you're going the administration will have to keep you behind a year. You could be here as a fifth-year senior, Louis, and I don't want to see that happen to you. I would be willing to clear your record of all your absences and excuse you from all the schoolwork you missed over the past week if you promise me you'll go to college."  
"What if I can't get into a college?" Louis asked.  
"I'll make sure you do," said Principal Atkins. "That's my job."  
"What if I get there and don't like it?" Louis asked.  
"You should at least try it, don't you think?"  
"Wait a minute," said Louis. "I'm seventeen. I can drop out of school whenever I want, and when I turn eighteen in a year my parents can't make me go to."  
"But if you drop out of school you'll never realize your potential in a career," Principal Atkins insisted. "I'm willing to help you out, Louis, but you have to let me."  
"You'd be stupid to refuse her offer, Louis," said Steve.  
"Let him decide for himself," Principal Atkins said gently.  
"What does it matter if I drop out of school if I don't even want to go to college?" Louis asked. "I don't see why you think it's so important. Do you think I'm that talentless that I can't make it as a comedian, huh?"  
"It's not so simple, Louis," Steve said angrily. "You can't just expect to move to Hollywood and become famous a few months later. You're looking at the world unrealistically."  
"No, I'm not," said Louis.  
"And if you don't graduate, we won't give you any money or resources to move to Hollywood," said Eileen. "Honey, your father offered to try to find you an agent, but you have to work for it."  
"Listen to your parents," Principal Atkins advised. "We're all here to help you. Now if you agree to go to your classes I guarantee that I and your parents will be here for you to help you reach your goals."  
Louis sighed audibly. "Fine," he said. "I'll do it. But if you don't try to help me at all I don't have to do anything you say."  
"Sounds fair to me." Principal Atkins nodded emphatically. "Now it's only sixth period. You can still attend your last two classes."  
  
"You're back," Tawny observed as Louis got his textbooks out of his locker at the end of the day. Louis turned to look at her and froze. "I'm glad you're back."  
"We're not supposed to talk to each other, remember?" asked Louis. He turned to walk away.  
"Wait, Louis, that's not what I meant," Tawny insisted. "God." She slammed Louis' locker door closed and walked away in the opposite direction. 


	12. Chapter Eleven

"Thomas! Phone call for you!" Mrs. Gribalski called up the stairs.  
Tom clicked out of his computerized chess program and reached over his desk to pick up the phone. "Hello, this is Tom."  
"Tom, hi." The voice on the other end was Tawny's.  
"Hello, Tawny. How did you come across my phone number?" Tom shifted in his seat, crossing one leg over the other, and opened a science magazine across his lap.  
"I looked it up in the phone book."  
"Oh. I see."  
"Hey, Tom, I have to ask . um, do you like coffee?"  
"It's all right," said Tom. "I prefer hot cocoa, though. Mother makes it best."  
"Well I was just wondering if you wanted to go to this new coffee shop on fourth street," said Tawny. "Like, sometime this weekend. If you're not too busy."  
"I think I could squeeze that into my schedule," Tom replied.  
"Great. Um, I can pick you up at your house and drive if you want," Tawny volunteered.  
"All right."  
"Is there any time that would be good for you?"  
"How about noon on Sunday," Tom suggested. "Unless you go to church."  
Tawny laughed. "No, I don't. Do you?"  
"Mother and Father don't encourage me to do so," said Tom, "but I do find the atmosphere rather peaceful."  
"Um, we could go together sometime if you want."  
"That's all right. Going to the coffee house will suffice."  
"Okay, I'll see you on Sunday. Bye."  
"Farewell."  
  
Ren rang up a purchase on the cash register and glanced at the kitty cat clock hanging on the wall across from her. "Mrs. Mendel," said Ren, "I'm going to take my break."  
"Okay, darling," Mrs. Mendel told her. "Be back on time, we have a lot of customers today."  
"Don't worry," said Ren. She grabbed her purse from the back room and jogged outside, flipping open the cover on her cell phone to check her messages.  
"Ren, you got an interesting package today that I think might interest you. It's sitting on your desk at home so be sure to look for it. Love you." The message from Eileen had come just a few minutes earlier.  
Ren dialed her home number and her mother picked up.  
"Mom, I got your message," said Ren. "What's this about some package?"  
"Remember how we were talking about a career in global studies, sweetie?" said Eileen.  
"Yeah," Ren said slowly.  
"Well, apparently you filled out some survey at school about careers and today the, uh, well, the government contacted you," Eileen told her.  
"The government. Like the CIA?" Ren asked, only half jokingly.  
"Actually, in short, honey, you were offered a full ride scholarship and an internship with Governor Schwarzenegger," Eileen said.  
"What?" Ren cried. "How?"  
"Apparently your school sent your name out to several public universities in the state who were recruiting international studies majors to be interns," Eileen explained.  
"Well, is the scholarship to the school of my choice, or what?" Ren asked. "And what would I do on the internship, just get mail and coffee for people or actually sit in on meetings?"  
"Not so fast, Ren," Eileen coaxed. "It's a scholarship to UCLA, honey. It's a good school, though."  
"Well, I know, but it's not Yale."  
"I know, sweetie, but think of the opportunity."  
"So would I have to travel to Sacramento all the time to work for Schwarzenegger, or is there some program in LA that I would be involved in?" Ren wanted to know.  
"I don't know, but all the information's sitting right on your desk," said Eileen.  
"Okay, Mom, I'm a break so I have to go. You wouldn't be mad at me if I didn't take the internship though, would you?"  
"Of course not, sweetheart, but I think we should discuss the possibility."  
"Fine. Sure. Talk to you later, Mom. Bye." Ren hung up the phone and went back to work, absentmindedly ringing up purchases and giving customers their change.  
"What are you thinking about?" Ruby asked Ren. "You seem distant."  
"I was offered an internship with Governor Schwarzenegger," Ren replied.  
"Arnold? Get outta here! Really?"  
"Ruby, get back to work cleaning those mirrors," Mrs. Mendel warned.  
"Mom, Monique and Ren want to switch jobs for awhile, is that okay?" Ruby asked.  
Mrs. Mendel looked up from filling out an invoice. "Yeah, sure. As long as both jobs get done."  
"Monique!" Ruby called to the back of the room. "You're up on the register. Mom's orders."  
"Ruby," Ren groaned.  
Monique handed Ren her broom and Ruby pulled Ren to the back of the room. She swept her rag across one of the mirrors a few times and put her hand over Ren's, preventing her from moving the broom over the floor. "Okay, tell me all the details," said Ruby.  
"Well, my mom didn't tell me that much, but I would somehow intern for Schwarzenegger while attending UCLA," said Ren.  
"Why UCLA?" Ruby asked.  
"I don't know, I was offered a scholarship there if I accepted the internship, I guess."  
"Oh, Ren, you have to do it! You could be the next President of the United States," Ruby gurgled.  
"Presidents go to Yale," said Ren, "not UCLA."  
"But UCLA's a good school. Monique might go there," said Ruby.  
"I know, but I really really want to go to Yale," Ren whined. "Or at least Harvard, or somewhere on the East Coast. I can't stay in California forever."  
"There's always graduate school," said Ruby. "Oh, Ren, I'll miss you so much if you go to the East Coast."  
"You're applying to schools on the East Coast too," Ren pointed out, trying to sweep a large clump of hair out of a corner.  
"Yeah, but I probably won't get in," said Ruby. "How long do you have to accept the internship?"  
"I don't know. I hope long enough to find out if I got into some of my other schools, but I doubt it," said Ren. "I guess I shouldn't worry about it until I find out more, huh?"  
"No, definitely don't stress," Ruby advised.  
"Now I don't know what to do. I've always dreamed of getting an acceptance letter to a big university and now I have," said Ren. "Well, sort of. And it's a full ride scholarship. I would be saving my parents so much money."  
"I know I would kill to get a scholarship to UCLA," said Ruby, "even if it's not one of my first choices."  
"I know, but this really isn't one of my choices at all," said Ren, "and I could still get a partial scholarship to some other schools. I just think I'd regret it if I accepted the offer and then later got accepted somewhere I really wanted to go."  
"I know. Well, it's your decision, Ren," said Ruby. She sprayed a mirror and motioned to Ren to start sweeping as Mrs. Mendel walked by.  
"How's the work going, girls?" Mrs. Mendel wanted to know.  
"Fine," said Ruby.  
"Great," said Ren.  
"Good. Keep it up."  
Ruby sighed in relief as her mother walked past them. "I'm sorry, Ren, I don't want to pressure you to say in the state. I know it's not what you really want."  
"But I do want the chance to work with political figures," said Ren. "Although I'd probably get that chance wherever else I go, too. Gosh, it's just so hard."  
"I say wait awhile and then decide," said Ruby. "Don't worry about it now. You have awhile before you find out which schools accepted you, anyway. And it'll probably be all of them."  
Ren laughed. "Yeah, right."  
"You'll see," Ruby told her. "You are Ren Stevens, after all."  
"And there are hundreds of Ren Stevens out there who all want to go to Yale," Ren pointed out.  
  
Tawny scooted over in her huge overstuffed to get closer to Tom and rested her elbow on the arm rest. "How's your hot chocolate?"  
"It's not as good as Mother makes, but enjoyable nonetheless," said Tom.  
"That's good." Tawny's eyes flickered to the window. "It's getting really cold outside. The leaves are really pretty."  
Tom nodded as he sipped at his drink.  
"So, Tom, forgive me if this is totally out of line, but is your father ever home?" Tawny asked. "I mean, I know he's a nurse and he probably works really hard, but you never talk about him or anything."  
"Father's home on weekends," Tom replied. "Mother and I are very close. We don't really like to talk about him."  
"Why not?" Tawny asked. "Are your parents in a good relationship?" She nearly spit out her mocha. "Oh my gosh, Tom, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have even asked that."  
"It's all right," said Tom. "Father usually spends the weeknights at his office across town. Mother is still angry at him because he wouldn't let her have anymore children after me. I guess I was too hard to handle!" He chuckled.  
"You don't seem hard to handle, Tom." Tawny curled her legs underneath her and leaned over the arm rest.  
"I had a lot of health problems as a child. Allergies and everything," said Tom. "Mother became very overprotective of me when I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia at the age of four. That's when she resolved to keep me inside studying all day. I suppose it worked."  
"Well do you want to do other things besides just study and play chess?" Tawny asked.  
"I practice martial arts," Tom reminded her.  
"Yeah, I know, but you could join a school social club or something. Like I'm in philosophy club, you could join that."  
"I could," said Tom, "but I rather like studying now."  
"It's really cold in here," said Tawny. "Do you want to go out to my car and I could turn the heat on?"  
"I should probably be getting home anyway," said Tom. "I do have some homework left that's due next month."  
"Oh. Okay," said Tawny.  
As they got up to throw the rest of their drinks away Tom said, "I really enjoyed hanging out with you, Tawny."  
"Yeah, me too," said Tawny.  
They climbed into her car and Tawny turned on the heat. "Let's just let it warm up for a few minutes."  
"So tell me about yourself," Tom said after a few minutes of silence, with only the car's heater whispering a stream of air. "You haven't told me the story of your life yet."  
"Heh," said Tawny uncomfortably. "Well, it isn't very interesting. I lived in Gilroy until I was four, then we moved here and my parents both got jobs at the same clinic."  
"Hobbies?" Tom asked.  
"I like art, writing poetry, reading, yoga." Tawny trailed off. "Geez, I sound like I'm submitting my profile to an online dating service."  
"You don't have to," Tom said softly.  
Tawny looked over at Tom and smiled. "I guess not."  
Tom leaned over his seat awkwardly and lightly touched his lips to Tawny's. Tawny gently kissed him back.  
"It's warm now," she remarked.  
"Yes."  
"Hang on a second, I think I forgot my lip gloss in the coffee house." Tawny jumped out of the car and dashed back inside the coffee house, then started jumping up and down, shrieking and flapping her arms in the air. When one of the customers sitting at a table near her gave her a strange look, she calmed herself down and returned to the car. "Nope, I guess it's still in my purse."  
The drive back to Tom's house was silent, but it was a good kind of silence. Tawny couldn't stop smiling, and when she glanced at Tom periodically at a stoplight she noticed a sideways grin on his face, too.  
"Thank you for transporting me," Tom said, unbuckling his seatbelt as Tawny pulled up in his driveway.  
"Oh, I'll walk you in," Tawny offered.  
They walked up to the front door of his house and Tom removed his house key from his pocket and unlocked it. He turned to face Tawny and let out his breath. "Well, here I am."  
"Yeah," said Tawny. "Good luck with your homework."  
"I'll see you tomorrow," said Tom.  
"Sure."  
"I'll call you. I have your number recorded on my caller ID."  
"Okay."  
Tawny turned on her car radio and sang along with the annoying pop music she usually detested. As she neared her house she couldn't settle down enough to pull into her driveway, so she drove halfway across the city and back, practically bouncing up and down in her seat all the way. When she got home her mother was worried about Tawny not calling to check in, but Tawny just vaguely apologized and retreated to her room, where she couldn't stop thinking about her afternoon. It hadn't been much, but it was enough to prevent her from doing any homework. 


	13. Chapter Twelve

"So I think Tom and I are more than just friends," Tawny gushed at lunch to Ren, Ruby, and Monique.  
"Really? Oh my gosh!" said Ren.  
"What happened?" Ruby asked.  
"He kissed me," Tawny told her.  
Ruby and Monique squealed. "What kind of kiss was it?" Monique asked, stirring her straw around in her milk seductively.  
"Monique," said Ruby, "maybe she doesn't kiss and tell."  
"It wasn't a big kiss, but it was definitely a kiss," Tawny replied.  
"So do you think you two are going to go out on a real date soon?" Ren asked.  
Tawny shrugged. "I don't know. We're kind of at that awkward stage."  
"That is so exciting for you two, though," said Ruby. "You just have to convince him to take you out somewhere."  
"I don't know," said Tawny.  
Louis swept by the table and stuck his finger into Ren's mashed potatoes, then licked the potatoes off his finger. "Good stuff, sis."  
"Oh my God. Louis!" Ren cried, clinching her teeth. "That is absolutely disgusting."  
"My lunch account's been wiped clean of money. Do you have any cash?" Louis asked Ren.  
"I'm not giving any to you," said Ren.  
"Louis, you can have half my sandwich if you want," Tawny offered.  
Louis looked past Tawny's shoulder into the sea of people gathered around lunch tables. "It's okay, I'll ask Twitty."  
"I'll take half that sandwich." Monique reached over the table and helped herself to Tawny's food. She took a huge bite of the sandwich and then nearly spit it out. Forcing herself to swallow, she said, "What is in this thing?"  
"It's vegemite," Tawny informed her. "My dad got some when he went to Australia a few years ago."  
Monique nearly choked. "A few years ago? You mean this rotten vegetable stuff has been sitting in your pantry for that long?"  
"It doesn't rot," said Tawny. "And you have to get used to the taste. Louis and I used to eat this stuff all the time when my dad first got it."  
"Well, you two are weird," said Monique, replacing the sandwich on top of Tawny's lunch sack.  
Tawny gathered up the remains of her lunch and made her way toward the garbage can in the corner of the room. Tom stepped out of the lunch line carrying a tray full of food and walked into Tawny's path, so Tawny had to abruptly stop to avoid running directly into him.  
"Oh!" Tom exclaimed, then looked up at Tawny's face. "Pardon me, I wasn't looking where I was going."  
"It's okay, Tom," said Tawny. "Hey, um, you want to sit at that table in the corner and talk for a few minutes?"  
"Sure," Tom agreed.  
As they settled into their seats at the small lunch table, Tawny smiled at Tom. He smiled back and stuck his fork into his plate of chicken. "You know, cafeteria food really isn't so bad," he commented. "I used to think it was rather lacking in nutrients, but thanks to the American Cafeteria Food Committee all the high schools in the country have had to publish nutritional facts sheets about their meals. They're available to the public online."  
"Oh," said Tawny. "That's . interesting."  
"Indeed."  
"Tom, look," said Tawny. Tom looked up from his food and dabbed his mouth with his napkin. "Um, we haven't really gone on a date or anything, and I was just wondering if you wanted to, you know, go sometime."  
"Mother doesn't like me to go out late at night," said Tom.  
"Well, it could be during the day, I guess," said Tawny. "Or I could just go over to your house and we could watch a movie or something. If that counts." She laughed.  
"If your parents aren't opposed to you coming over for Thanksgiving, Mother is preparing a real feast this year," Tom informed her. "And Father will be there too so you can meet him."  
"Wow, that sounds great. My parents won't care," Tawny assured him. "That'll be fun."  
The final lunch bell rang and Tawny stood up and stretched, trying to stand near the table long enough for Tom to quickly finish eating. He finally stood up and they walked to the cafeteria door together.  
"See you tomorrow, I guess," said Tawny.  
"See you." Tom looked down at the floor for a second and then back up at Tawny. Then he held out his hand, and Tawny put her hand in his. It felt warm and comfortable to be holding another boy's hand. Tom's touch was much gentler than Louis', and his fingers were more slender. Tom leaned over and kissed Tawny on the cheek.  
Louis stood behind Tom and Tawny, watching the whole scene as students brushed past him and out the door. He could barely move. Instead of walking through the cafeteria door to the hallway he turned around and exited the school through the back door, making his way to the front of the school from the outside. He got to his locker and took out his math book, then slammed the locker shut just as the bell rang and got to his class a few seconds late.  
  
"This test is impossible," said Ren. "I have no idea what this textbook is talking about."  
"Well, it is an advanced physics class," Travis pointed out.  
Ren and Travis were sitting on Ren's bed, Ren nestled into Travis' lap with her left leg wrapped around his and both of their right legs dangling off the side of the bed. Travis was supposed to be helping Ren study, but his job seemed to be more along the lines of periodically kissing her and stroking her hair.  
"My stupid teacher doesn't even try to explain anything in class," said Ren, exasperated. "Our final is in a month and none of us even knows any of the material."  
"Maybe you should go talk to him, then," Travis suggested.  
"I've never had to do that before," said Ren. "Except when I was failing shop. And cooking. But those were meaningless middle school classes, I mean, I should be able to handle this stuff, right?"  
"Don't freak out," said Travis. "Ren, what grade do you have in that class?"  
"Probably a high B," Ren replied, "but weighted it's an A."  
"See? Nothing to worry about."  
Ren sighed. "You don't understand. I have to submit my first semester transcripts to all the colleges I applied to."  
"So do I," said Travis, "and my grades aren't as good as yours."  
"But you're not trying to get into Ivy League schools."  
"What about that internship?" Travis asked. "Instead of stressing yourself out you could just take that."  
"But I'll only be stressed until April. I'll be going to college for at least four years, probably more," Ren told him. "I'm not going to settle for a lower-tier school before getting rejected from all of my other schools."  
"Which probably won't happen," Travis added.  
"Right."  
"So don't worry about it."  
"But I can't help it." Ren climbed off her bed and sat down at her computer desk. "Every time I try not to stress out about something I just end up stressing more."  
"I'm sorry, babe," Travis apologized. "I don't know what I can do to help you."  
Ren slammed a folder full of papers down on her desk, exasperated. "Nothing. There isn't anything you can do. It's just the way I am."  
"Okay, I have a proposal." Travis rolled off Ren's bed and sat on the edge of her desk. "Now don't get mad at me, but how about taking a break from studying for a few hours and doing something fun?"  
"Like what?" Ren asked.  
Travis shrugged. "I don't know, we could go for a drive, get something to eat, see a movie."  
"That's what we always do," said Ren.  
"We could make out."  
"Shut up!" Ren threw a fuzzy pen at Travis, which hit him on the shoulder.  
"Ow." Travis made a pouty face and rubbed his shoulder exaggeratedly. "Now you owe it to me."  
"Okay, okay," Ren agreed. "Let's go to the park."  
"Sounds like a deal." Travis picked his coat up from Ren's doorknob and slid into it, and Ren fastened the belt attached to a long sweater around her waist.  
Ren pulled open her bedroom door and found Louis standing in the hallway. "Ack! Louis!" she cried, surprised. "What are you doing?"  
"She's with him, isn't she?" Louis asked.  
"Who?" Ren wanted to know.  
"Tawny. She and Tom are going out together, aren't they?"  
"Kind of," said Ren.  
"Did she dump me for him?" Louis asked.  
"Louis, no," said Ren. "She didn't."  
"Well how long have they been going out?" Louis asked. "I saw them holding hands in the cafeteria today. They looked pretty serious."  
"Look, Louis, I'm not getting into this," said Ren. "You should talk to Tawny if you want to find out what's going on between her and Tom. Now excuse me, we have to go."  
"Tawny told me I couldn't talk to her anymore," Louis said as Ren and Travis squeezed past him into the hallway. "She said she didn't even want to be friends with me."  
"Louis, all she wanted you to do was improve your act. She didn't want to ignore you," said Ren. "I'm sure she'd be okay with you calling her."  
"Yeah, right," said Louis. "What's the point now, anyways? She's with that geek."  
"He used to be your friend," Ren pointed out.  
"Well obviously he's not anymore," Louis retorted.  
"And you know what? Neither is Twitty. He barely even talks to you anymore. He doesn't want to be your friend, Louis. And you know why? Because you don't even try."  
"Ren, we should go." Travis restrained Ren by placing his hands firmly on her shoulders. "Let's not do this now, okay?"  
"Fine," said Ren.  
"Hey, Twitty is too my friend!" Louis called down the stairs as Travis guided Ren toward the front door. "I'm not a social outcast like Tom! God, forget it." He slammed his hand on the railing and locked himself in his room. 


	14. Chapter Thirteen

On Thanksgiving morning Tawny sat up in bed abruptly as her alarm went off at 7:00. "Ugghhh," she groaned, rubbing her eyes and hitting the snooze button. "It's not a school day." As she fell backwards to burrow under her bed covers, she remembered why she had set her alarm clock for so early in the morning: She had to get ready for the day before her parents did.  
Dashing across the hallway to the bathroom, Tawny took a shower, got dressed, dried and straightened her hair, and did her makeup, then went downstairs for breakfast and ate a bowl of cereal crouched into one of the living room chairs alone.  
"Good morning, pumpkin," said Mr. Dean, entering the kitchen and pulling open one of the cabinets above the sink to remove a cereal bowl. "You're up early. There's no school today, you know."  
"I know, Dad," said Tawny. "I can't sleep."  
Mr. Dean poured himself a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice and joined Tawny in the living room, where he settled on the couch and flipped on the TV. "You up for watching the Thanksgiving parade?"  
"I don't care." Tawny carefully put her spoon in her mouth to avoid smudging her lipstick.  
"Hey, you look nice!" Mr. Dean commented. "What's the special occasion?"  
"Well, I'm going to Tom's for dinner," Tawny reminded him.  
"That's right," said Mr. Dean. "Are you nervous?"  
"No, why would I be nervous?"  
"You and Tom are pretty close friends now, aren't you?" Mr. Dean asked.  
Tawny shrugged uncomfortably. "I guess."  
"Well, you just take care of yourself," Mr. Dean told her.  
"Dad! I don't know what that means, but I don't want to." Tawny dipped her spoon in her cereal bowl and stirred it around.  
  
Mrs. Gribalski placed a large turkey in the oven and wiped her hands on her apron. Turning to Tom, who had set up an impromptu chess game on the dining room table, she said, "So we're about all set for dinner. Now all we have to do is make the pumpkin pie. Your friend will eat turkey, won't she?"  
"I suppose so," said Tom. "She didn't tell me otherwise."  
"Girls are like that," said Mrs. Gribalski. "They won't tell you until it's too late. I better make a casserole just in case." She examined Tom's chess board and moved his white rook two squares forward. "Your queen isn't guarded properly."  
"I'm sure Tawny will enjoy your dinner," Tom asserted.  
"I just hope she's not on a diet. Young girls like that shouldn't be watching their weight and we'll never get rid of all this food if we don't have someone to eat it."  
"Tawny's not the kind of girl who would diet like that," Tom said.  
"I suppose you know better than I do."  
  
A large loaf of pumpkin bread was set in the middle of the Deans' dining room table, surrounding by plates of couscous with raisins, cooked squash, corn and peas, stuffing, whole cranberries, and granola. Mrs. Dean brought in a small ham and set it down in the corner of the table. "Would you like to do the honors?" She motioned to Mr. Dean.  
Tawny watched her father cut the ham and glanced at the clock above the fireplace. It was two in the afternoon. Her parents had insisted she stay for Thanksgiving lunch before going to Tom's house.  
Mrs. Dean noticed Tawny picking at her couscous and said, "Honey, eat. We're all here together."  
"I don't want to be full when I eat my second Thanksgiving meal," said Tawny.  
"Oh, Tawn, at least have some of the pumpkin bread. It's your favorite," Mr. Dean encouraged.  
Tawny rolled her eyes and dropped a slab of pumpkin bread on her plate. She broke off a tiny piece and put it in her mouth, chewing slowly.  
"You look very pretty, Tawny," Mrs. Dean complimented her.  
"Thanks," said Tawny.  
Ten minutes passed in silence and then Mr. Dean set his fork by his plate and leaned back against his chair. "So, what are we thankful for?" he asked.  
"Dad, we haven't done this since I was five," Tawny protested.  
"I know, but this year's a good one to bring up what we're thankful for."  
"Why?"  
"Well, you're doing very well in school, going to college soon, your mother just got a raise."  
Mrs. Dean raised her water glass and said, "Let's toast. To our beautiful daughter."  
Tawny ducked her head and clinked her water glass against her mother's and father's. "May I please be excused?" she asked.  
"All right, all right." Mr. Dean waved her cloth napkin resignedly. "Go on."  
"Have a good time, Tawny," said Mrs. Dean. "Oh, honey, here, take some pumpkin bread. We'll never eat all of it." Mrs. Dean disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a Tupperware container filled with slices of her bread.  
Tawny checked her hair and outfit in the hallway mirror. She had toned down her usual style, supplementing it with a green sweater, khaki pants, and moccasins, with just one necklace made out of stone and her favorite silver thumb ring. Her earrings were tiny pearls her mother had given her for her seventeenth birthday a few months earlier. She took a deep breath and combed her fingers through her straightened hair, then went out to the driveway and climbed into her car.  
The air was still and tinged with the smoky air of fall. As Tawny drove by the houses in her neighborhood she could see candle light illuminating from many of the windows and grey puffs rising from the chimneys of the houses where families gathered inside around their fireplaces. Thanksgiving dinner at the Dean house usually consisted of just a short dinner followed by a movie marathon all night, which Tawny usually didn't even participate in. She hoped the Gribalski family's dinner was more personal. But she also was nervous about meeting Tom's father and his parents grilling her with questions, although Mrs. Gribalski didn't seem like the type of person to do that.  
Tawny turned onto Tom's street and eased her car toward the curb, shifting her clutch word "Park." A warm feeling rose in her chest as she unbuckled her seatbelt and reached across to the passenger seat to retrieve the Tupperware container. She slowly crunched over the gravel on the Gribalskis' driveway and stepped onto their porch. A colorful cardboard cutout of a pilgrim hung on their front door, and Tawny laughed at the unexpected sight. She rolled her neck around her shoulders and then slowly extended her finger and rang the doorbell.  
Through the narrow distorted glass window by the door Tawny could see Mrs. Gribalski playfully dancing to "Canon and D." She pulled open the door and extended her arms. Tawny hesitantly let Mrs. Gribalski hug her and put one arm around the grey-haired woman. "Hello, Tawny. I'm so glad you're here. Thomas has been excited about this all day."  
"Really?" Tawny asked, suppressing a giggle. "Oh, I brought this for you." She shoved the Tupperware container into Mrs. Gribalski's arms. "It's my mom's pumpkin bread."  
"Well, thank you," Mrs. Gribalski told her. "Thomas is upstairs and Mr. Gribalski is in the living room. You can come and sit with us if you'd like, he's trying to get our new digital camera to work," she laughed.  
Tawny smiled and followed Mrs. Gribalski into the living room. She perched on the edge of their stiff-backed couch and watched Mr. Gribalski fiddle around with the buttons of a small silver camera.  
Mrs. Gribalski set the container of pumpkin bread down on the kitchen counter and then entered the living room. "Ed, say hello to Tawny Dean, Thomas' friend," Mrs. Gribalski instructed, removing the camera from her husband's hand.  
"Hello, Tawny." Mr. Gribalski held out his hand. The smell of strong cologne filled Tawny's nose as she shook it.  
Tom entered the living room, adjusting the collar of the dark red shirt he wore beneath his sage green sweater.  
"Oh, isn't that cute," Mrs. Gribalski remarked. "You're both wearing green."  
"Heh," said Tawny, and rose to stand by Tom.  
"Hello, Tawny," he said formally.  
"Ed, we have to get a picture of this. Thomas, can you figure out how this thing works, dear?" Mrs. Gribalski brought the camera over to Tom, squinting at the small display screen. "I can't make out any of the instructions."  
"Sure, Mother, you should have asked me earlier. This will be a snap." Tom adjusted a few of the settings on the camera and then aimed the view indirectly toward the adjacent wall and snapped a picture. The flash brightened the wall. "There. It works," said Tom.  
"All right, you two, smile!" Mrs. Gribalski instructed, holding the camera up to her eye and trying to push Tom and Tawny closer together.  
Tom stiffly put his arm around Tawny's shoulder and Tawny put her arm around her back and tilted her head toward Tom. Mrs. Gribalski snapped the picture. "You two looked so sweet. We'll have to print this out and send a copy to your parents!" She chuckled, stroking Tawny's hair with her hand. "All right, everyone, dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Let's all gather around the table."  
The dining room table was decorated with miniature pumpkins and squashes, with two long candles as the centerpiece surrounded by a wreath of holly. Mrs. Gribalski set out a basket of rolls and her casserole, then placed a shallow porcelain bowl in front of everyone and ladled split pea soup into them. She sat down and said, "This is only the first course, so don't fill up too much. I hope you haven't already eaten, Tawny."  
"No, I just ate a little," said Tawny, dipping her spoon into her soup. "This looks really good."  
Tawny's nervousness slowly faded when Mrs. Gribalski brought out a bottle of wine after they had finished eating the first course, turkey and mashed potatoes, Tawny's pumpkin bread, and sorbet with chilled cranberries. "We only have wine twice a year, on New Year's and Thanksgiving," Mrs. Gribalski explained, filling Tawny's wine glass halfway. "I hope your parents don't mind."  
"No, they're okay with it," said Tawny. She tucked her napkin in her lap and took a small sip of wine.  
"Beer for me," Mr. Gribalski said as Mrs. Gribalski came around to him with the wine bottle.  
"Oh, Ed," said Mrs. Gribalski. "Not when the kids are around."  
"All right, I'll settle for the cheap wine," Mr. Gribalski said resignedly. "So Tawny, what did you think of our dinner?"  
Tawny nodded and gulped a mouthful of wine. "It was really good."  
"More wine, dear?" Mrs. Gribalski asked. "We'll never finish the bottle at this rate."  
"Um, no, I'd better not," said Tawny.  
"So Tom tells me you're interested in theater," said Mr. Gribalski. Tawny nodded. "I used to do theater in college," Mr. Gribalski told her. "I was pretty good. I got in the yearbook for being the lead in a play."  
"That's cool," said Tawny.  
"There's no need to brag, Ed," said Mrs. Gribalski. "Tawny was in that school play with Thomas, remember? About the lovers? That was, oh, what, three or four years ago?"  
"That was pretty embarrassing," said Tawny.  
"But fun," Tom added.  
"Yeah, I guess."  
"And Thomas did a documentary on that cute little band she was in," said Mrs. Gribalski. "With Louis and his older sister."  
"I remember getting the call from the principal about Tom almost being suspended for breaking some kind of school rule," said Mr. Gribalski.  
"We only went up on the roof," said Tom.  
"Yeah, we were crazy in middle school." Tawny rolled her eyes.  
"You were just being kids. Some high schoolers today, they're all over the town doing drugs and getting drunk. It's awful." Mrs. Gribalski took a polite sip of her wine. "I'm so glad you and Thomas have been able to stay grounded."  
"Tawny, would you like to come up to my room? I can show you my new wireless adapter," said Tom. "Internet at lightning-fast speed."  
"Sounds . interesting," said Tawny. "Thank you for the dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Gribalski. It was really good."  
"Sure thing, sweetie," said Mrs. Gribalski.  
Tawny rose and followed Tom up the stairs to his room, where he shut the door lightly behind him and sat down at his desk chair. "So what do you think of Mother and Father?" he asked, tapping a pen against his desk.  
Tawny shrugged. "They're pretty cool. I thought the dinner was good. You?"  
"Yeah. Mother really went all out this year," said Tom. "She usually doesn't make half this much food."  
"Well I'm stuffed," said Tawny. "You want to take a walk or something?"  
Tom partially opened his window curtains. "It looks pretty cold out there."  
"Oh," said Tawny.  
"Um, Tawny," said Tom, "there's something I want to ask you."  
Tawny perked up and sat on Tom's bed. "Go ahead. I'm all ears."  
"Well, I know the moments we've spent together haven't exactly been exciting," said Tom, "but I've really grown to like your personality. Anyway, I was just wondering if maybe you'd be interested in going to prom with me."  
Tawny's eyes and mouth widened. She couldn't speak for a few seconds. "Really?"  
"Really," said Tom. "Only if you want to, I mean."  
"Yes! Yeah, that'd be great! Oh my gosh." Tawny jumped off of Tom's bed and Tom rose from his chair, anticipating the hug Tawny gave him which nearly knocked him over. "I thought you'd never get around to asking me out!" Tawny laughed.  
Tom took a deep breath. "So we're going then? It's a date?"  
"Definitely," Tawny said. She fanned herself, trying not to blush too much. "I'm sorry if I sound excited, it's just . I've been waiting for this, and."  
"You thought it would never happen?" Tom asked.  
"Well, I don't know. At the rate we'd been going."  
Tom cleared his throat. "I really like you Tawny."  
"I like you, too."  
There was an awkward pause and then Tom cast his eyes toward his door. Tawny went over to the door and locked it, then leaned her back against it and looked into Tom's eyes. He crossed over to her and kissed her on the lips. Tawny closed her eyes and kissed him back, letting her hands wander to his cheeks. Tom put his hand in hers and pulled away from her.  
"Wow," said Tawny.  
Tom nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. I know."  
Tawny pushed Tom onto his bed and laughed. "Okay, we have to go for a walk. It's really hot in here. Come on, it'll be fun," she begged.  
"All right, but I'll have Mother make us some hot cider so we can stay warm," said Tom.  
"Perfect."  
Tom dug around in his closet until he found a black pea coat and threw it over his shoulders.  
"Wow, I have the same coat in my car," Tawny remarked. "Only it's cut for a girl," she added quickly. "Maybe we should compare the rest of our wardrobe."  
"Perhaps it's destiny," Tom joked.  
Tawny shrugged. "Maybe it is."  
They walked hand in hand down the stairs and then quickly let go of each other when they got to the bottom. Tom asked his mother to make her special hot cider, which turned out to be apple juice mixed with a cinnamon stick and warmed up in the microwave. "Tom invented the recipe when he was three," Mrs. Gribalski informed Tawny. "I'll have to show you some baby pictures of him later."  
"That's all right, Mother," said Tom.  
"No, I'd like to see!" said Tawny.  
Mrs. Gribalski handed Tom and Tawny two mugs of hot cider and said, "Now don't stay out too late. We're going to play a game of chess when you two get back. Girls against boys. What do you say, Tawny?"  
"I don't know, my parents." Tawny trailed off. "They're having a movie night. They probably won't even notice I'm gone."  
"Great," said Mrs. Gribalski. "Mr. Gribalski and I will set up the chess pieces. Oh, we're going to have so much fun!"  
"I'm sorry about Mother's rather ecstatic nature," said Tom as he held the front door open for Tawny. "She isn't used to having guests over."  
"It's okay," said Tawny. "I like her."  
"Good. I have a feeling you'll be getting to know her more over the next few months."  
"I hope so," Tawny whispered. 


	15. Chapter Fourteen

"Ren Stevens. Hey girls, nice to see you." Larry Beale sidled up next to Ren in the lunch line. "I heard about that internship you got with Governor Schwarzenegger. Congratulations."  
"Thanks, but I don't think I'm going to accept." Ren reached over and pulled a carton of milk from the refrigerator.  
"Really?" said Larry. "Why not?"  
"I'm hoping to go to Yale."  
"That's funny, because I got an early acceptance at Princeton plus a full scholarship for my first year." Larry handed his change to the cashier and stepped out of the way to let Ren pay for her lunch. "We could both end up going to Ivy League schools."  
"Yeah. Funny," said Ren. "Excuse me, I have to go sit with my friends."  
"Good luck getting into Yale," Larry called out.  
"Ren! Can I talk to you?" said Travis. He was standing by the silverware, tapping his fingers together.  
"Sure," said Ren.  
"I have class in a few minutes, so I'll make this quick," said Travis. "Um, I submitted a portfolio of my photography work to the California School of Design and, well, I got my acceptance letter in the mail yesterday."  
"Oh, Travis, that's great!" Ren balanced her lunch tray in the crook of one arm and hugged Travis with the other. "Congratulations."  
"Yeah," said Travis. "I know. The thing is, I'm kind of under contract with them to be an apprentice for six months, starting next semester."  
"What." Ren's eyes widened. "Are you kidding? You mean, instead of going to school?"  
"Yeah."  
"Oh."  
"I'm sorry, but it's such a great opportunity," said Travis. "You're getting lots of opportunities, Ren, and we have to say goodbye sometime. I mean, I wish it weren't this soon, but."  
"I know." Ren nodded. "Okay."  
"My dad was in the military for the first year of my parents' marriage and they had a really good long-distance relationship," said Travis. "I think we can work through this."  
"I'll call you later," Ren told him. "You should get to class."  
  
Tawny tacked the picture of her and Tom decorating the Gribalskis' Christmas tree next to the Thanksgiving picture on her bulletin board. She glanced in her mirror and rubbed at the dark circles under her eyes. Finals week had come, and she had barely even studied. Thankfully only a week of school was left before winter break.  
Tawny skipped downstairs and shoveled a bowl of cereal into her mouth as she waited for the water for her tea to boil, then dumped the water in a thermos and dunked a bag of green tea into it.  
"Mom, I'm going to school!" Tawny called up the stairs. She stuffed her thermos into her backpack and hopped into her car. She had been leaving for school earlier every day because Tom usually got there earlier. By now he had learned to wait for Tawny by her locker.  
"Ready for finals?" Tom asked, leaning his head against the brick wall.  
"Oh God," said Tawny. "Don't even talk to me about finals. I'm just glad half my classes are easy." Tawny uncapped her thermos and took a sip of tea.  
"That looks rejuvenating," Tom commented.  
"Do you want a sip?" Tawny asked.  
"Sure." Tom took the thermos from her and turned it around in his hands, examining its rim.  
"You can put your lips on it, Tom," said Tawny. "It's not like we haven't shared germs before."  
"True," Tom remarked, and took a small sip of the tea. "That does have a rather calming effect." He handed the thermos back to Tawny.  
"Yeah, this stuff is amazing," said Tawny. "My dad orders it from India. I'll get you a few packages if you like it."  
Tom slipped his hand into Tawny's and they began walking down the hall toward the common area. Ren was walking into the school, Louis trailing behind her.  
"Hey, Ren," said Tawny.  
"Hi Tawny," Ren replied. "Hi Tom."  
"Hello yourself," Tom replied.  
"Hey, Louis." Tawny smiled at Louis. He fixed his eyes on her face for a second and then walked away. Tawny squeezed Tom's hand tighter.  
Louis followed Ren to her locker, walking stiffly and swinging his arms in front of him. "Tawny and Tom are a couple?" he asked.  
Ren turned on her heels. "I thought you knew that already." She removed one of her books and started putting it in her bag.  
Louis snatched the book out of Ren's hand and threw it on the floor. "Hey!" she said, stooping to pick it up, but Louis placed his foot firmly over it.  
"They're holding hands," he said. "And they kiss."  
"That's what couples do," Ren told him, annoyed. "You and Tawny did that when you were a couple, right?"  
"Did you see how she looked into his eyes? Did you?" Louis asked.  
"Okay, Louis, I get it," said Ren. "It's no big surprise that Tawny and Tom enjoy each other's company. They are going out."  
"What else are they doing, huh?" Louis asked.  
"I don't know. It's none of my business," said Ren.  
"Are they doing what you and Travis do?"  
"First of all." Ren pulled her book from under Louis' foot and stuck it in her backpack. "That's for me to know and you to keep your nose out of. And could we please not talk about Travis right now?"  
"Oh, you're still hung up on that thing he told you on Friday," said Louis. "About him moving away."  
"I just didn't expect it to be so soon," said Ren. "But look, I've been trying not to think about it, I'm stressing over finals, and I would really appreciate if you just left me alone." She turned around and started walking toward her first class.  
"Ren, you gotta help me out here," said Louis. "Just tell me how serious it is."  
"Hey, dude." Twitty pounded Louis' shoulder as he passed him in the hall. "How's it going?"  
"Not good," said Louis.  
"What's the deal?" Twitty asked.  
"It's Tawny and Tom. They're really serious."  
"Yeah, dude, it's kind of scary," Twitty remarked. "I never pictured Tom as a touchy feely kind of guy."  
"He's the guy who wants to live in a world with less picking and more hugging," said Louis.  
"You have an incredible memory," said Twitty. "So have you talked to Tawny about it?"  
"No, I haven't." Louis sighed. "I mean, I see them walking through the halls together and she looks so happy."  
"You should talk to her," Twitty urged. "Get your feelings off your chest, you know, man?"  
"I guess," said Louis. "But she was the one who broke up with me, Twitty. She said she didn't even want to talk to me anymore."  
"She didn't mean it," said Twitty. "She's a girl. They say one thing and mean another. You of all people, dude, you should know." He shook his head, his long hair flying everywhere.  
"I guess so," said Louis. "Thanks for the advice, man. See you later." 


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Tawny tapped her pencil against her desk in her British Literature class. The teacher had decided not to give a final but instead assigned a timed essay. Tawny had finished hers in half an hour. There was still an hour of class left. She drew her eraser across the side of her paper and brought it to her teacher's desk, setting it down lightly.  
"Are you sure you're finished, Ms. Dean?" Mrs. Inglendt said, peering over her glasses at Tawny's overturned essay. "You still have a considerable amount of time to work."  
"I'm done," Tawny assured her.  
"Then you may sit quietly."  
Tawny opened a blank notebook on her desk, hoping to get some inspiration to write a new poem. She flipped over the notebook's cover, on which she had taped a picture of her and Tom. She sighed and rested her chin against her hand, staring into space.  
The bell rang and Tawny stood up to leave the room. Mrs. Inglendt stopped her. "Tawny," she said, "could you come over here a minute?"  
Tawny inched toward Mrs. Inglendt's desk.  
"Are you all right? You were just starting at the board for half the class," said Mrs. Inglendt.  
"I'm fine," said Tawny.  
"If you're sick you can redo the essay sometime when you're feeling better."  
"No, don't worry. I'm okay." Tawny shook her head and tapped her cheeks, trying to wake herself up as she exited the classroom.  
"Hey, Tawny."  
Louis stood against the hallway wall, his back pressed firmly against it as people passed him. "Where's your next test?"  
"Just down the hall." Tawny motioned. "So what's up?"  
"Look," said Louis, guiding Tawny toward a far set of lockers by her sleeve. "I see you and Tom, and you two have great chemistry, and . well, it's hard not to feel happy when I see you smiling all the time." He looked down, ashamed.  
"Thanks, Louis," Tawny said.  
"Look, can we just be friends again?" Louis asked. "I mean really friends, that's it. For real this time."  
"Of course," said Tawny.  
Louis let out a deep breath. "God," he said, his lip trembling. He tried not to let a tear roll down his cheek, but his attempts at averting his eyes failed.  
"Oh my God, Louis." Tawny hugged Louis to her, and he put his arms around her. He sighed deeply. It felt so good to be in her arms again.  
"I missed you," Louis told her.  
"I missed you, too," said Tawny. "I didn't want us to never talk to each other, Louis."  
Louis stepped back and blinked rapidly until his eyes were dry.  
"I'm really glad you decided to come back to school," said Tawny. "You made the right decision. I can tell you're trying to improve."  
"Yeah. I am," said Louis.  
"Well, I'll see you at lunch or something," said Tawny. "Good luck on your next final."  
"Yeah, you too."  
"You can call me whenever you want," Tawny added. "I want to know how you're doing."  
"Got it," said Louis.  
Tawny hugged him one more time before they went their separate ways, then she walked toward her next class, Louis' words ringing in her ears. She had never known how good it would feel to talk to him again.  
"Tawny!" Tom cried from down the hall. "How did your first final go?"  
"It went all right," said Tawny. "Yours?"  
"Satisfactory."  
Tawny bobbed her head up and down and they walked down the hall together. "Well, I guess I should probably head in here." Tawny pointed toward her classroom. "I mean . it's my class."  
"Good luck," said Tom.  
"You too," said Tawny.  
Tom leaned over and kissed Tawny on the cheek. As he walked away she rubbed gently at the spot where he had kissed her and looked at her hand. She dropped her hand and walked into her classroom.  
  
Ren tapped her fingers against her cell phone and then opened in and punched in the ten-digit number.  
"Hello, Yale University. How may I help you?"  
"Hi," Ren said in as confident and cheerful a voice as she possibly could, "my name is Ren Stevens and I applied to your school a few months ago. I received a letter that said I was wait-listed, and I was just wondering how the process was going."  
"All right, which program did you apply for?"  
"International studies," Ren replied, "but I could change that if there are no spots available."  
"Well, we send our acceptance letters out in April."  
"I know," said Ren. "But is there an interview process or anything I could do in the meantime to get acquainted with the faculty?"  
"No, you'll just have to wait."  
"Oh," said Ren. "Well, um, I did get an internship offer in my state, California, and I have to respond to that by January, so I was really just kind of wondering if I could get any indication about admission within the next few weeks."  
"I'm not in charge of admissions," the monotonous voice on the other end of the line said, "but I could possibly put you in contact with someone in your department. What's your social security number?"  
Ren told her.  
"And you applied for International Studies. All right, well, we have all your transcripts and everything."  
"Yes," said Ren, "I realize that. I just want to know what my odds are of getting in."  
"There are several factors that go into the admissions process," the voice replied. "For instance, geographical location. There are several people applying from all over the state of California. Your grades are exceptional as well. The admissions staff will have to review your personal statement and the essays and recommendations you submitted."  
"Is there a reason that I was wait-listed as opposed to accepted early?" Ren asked.  
"There may be several reasons. If you'd like you can leave a voicemail for the head of the International Studies department. I'll connect you to his line."  
There was a click on the other end of the phone and then a dull ringing. A few seconds later Ren was instructed to leave a sixty second or less message.  
"Hi, my name is Ren Stevens and I applied to this department. I'm calling to discuss my admissions process and ask a few questions. I'd be interested in hearing back from you. Thanks." Ren left her phone number and then hung up and sighed.  
The school bell signaling that lunch was over rang, and Ren scurried to her last final of the day.  
Louis met up with Ren outside HESHS and they both got into her car.  
"So, how'd your finals go?" Louis asked Ren.  
"Okay. Yours."  
"I don't know, I didn't study or anything."  
"Whatever," said Ren. "Hey, we've both had a hard day, do you want to get a milkshake or something?"  
"I don't have any money," said Louis.  
"That's okay, my treat." Ren checked her rearview mirror and backed out of the parking lot.  
"I made up with Tawny today," said Louis.  
"That's good. I called Yale."  
"What did they say?"  
"I don't know," said Ren. "I have to wait. Meanwhile that internship offer is looking more and more tempting. I mean, I know that UCLA isn't on my top list of schools, but I can always transfer if I hate it, and they seem a lot friendlier than the staff at Yale."  
"Yeah, plus the money we'll save will come in handy when Mom and Dad have to bail me out of jail in a few years," Louis joked.  
"Not funny," said Ren.  
"Why don't you just take it, Ren? You're stressing out about this thing and really, does it matter which school you go to as long as you get a degree?"  
"Yes. Yes, it does," said Ren. "I want to go for the academic enrichment."  
"But it's Yale. Yale, Ren. Even brainy kids like you only have like a five percent chance of getting in, you know?"  
"Thanks for the encouragement," said Ren. "I don't know, and then Travis is staying in state, but everyone always says it's a mistake to make decisions about college because of your significant other, but still. We've been dating for a long time, and I really think we have a future."  
"Me and Tawny were friends since seventh grade and look where we ended up," said Louis. "Now she's with Tom and I'm single."  
"So?" said Ren. She pulled into a drive-thru and ordered two vanilla milkshakes.  
"So things don't always work out the way they're planned," said Louis.  
"No kidding." Ren handed Louis his milkshake and set hers into her drink holder. "No spilling in my car."  
"Look, Ren, would you rather go to some ritzy East Coast school where there's tons of competition and have to work to get a job, or get a full scholarship to a school that's not quite as good but where you'll be one of the smartest kids, plus get your foot in the door with a political internship?" Louis asked.  
"That was quite a complex sentence," Ren commented.  
"Yeah, it's all that terminology from my English final coming back to me."  
"You have a point, it's just . I don't know," said Ren.  
"Well, for your information, the whole family's getting sick of you whining about it all the time, so you'd better make a decision," said Louis. "I mean, there are pros and cons either way, you know?"  
That night at dinner Ren tapped her fork against her plate. "Um, I have an announcement to make," she said. "I've decided to take the internship with Governor Schwarzenegger and attend UCLA."  
Steve and Eileen clapped. "That's wonderful, sweetheart," Eileen told her.  
Ren nodded unsurely. "I filled out all the forms this afternoon and I'm sending them in tomorrow."  
"Congratulations, Ren. You just made your first grown-up decision," said Steve proudly.  
"You'll do wonderfully," Eileen assured Ren, rubbing her back.  
"I know," said Ren. "Well, now that that's settled, let's eat!"  
"Thank goodness," Louis mumbled, and dug into his food.  
All through dinner Ren's parents kept smiling and nodding at her, but she still felt a lump in her chest. The next morning she slid her UCLA application and her internship contracts into her mailbox, then sped off to school. When she came home she pulled open the mailbox to find that day's mail stuffed inside it. Her letter had been picked up and was probably at the post office now. It was settled. Ren took a deep breath and then took a long nap. 


	17. Chapter Sixteen

"Hey Louis, Tom's having a New Years party, do you want to come?" Tawny asked Louis over the phone. "I mean, if you're not doing anything else."  
"Tom's house has become a real party magnet, huh?" Louis asked. "Yeah, I don't know, my parents generally like to have a sleep-a-thon starting at about eleven on December thirty-first."  
"You should come, then," said Tawny. "And hey, bring Ren and Twitty too, or whoever else wants to come."  
"Uh, Ren's doing something with her boyfriend," Louis replied. "Probably making out."  
"You can meet us at Tom's whenever," said Tawny. "I'll be over there in the early afternoon."  
"Okay, maybe," said Louis. "But I have big plans. I'm practicing my comedy routine, you know."  
"Cool," said Tawny. "Do you have an audition somewhere?"  
"Well, not yet, but I'm working on it," said Louis.  
"Okay . oh, I gotta go, my mom's calling me. Bye!"  
Louis hung up the phone as Ren walked by him, a book open in front of her face. Louis scooted out of the way and directed Ren toward the entrance to her room. "Why are you reading? We don't have school for another week."  
Ren lowered the book and said, "It's required reading for my internship. I have to get to know some political terms."  
"Well, good luck," said Louis, turning to go back into his room. "Hey, when do you get to meet Schwarzenegger anyway? Could you get me his autograph?"  
Ren rolled her eyes. "Sure, Louis. I'm sure he'd be very impressed with me if I followed him around asking him to sign something for my little brother."  
"Hey, you're going to Travis' for New Years, right?" Louis asked.  
"Yes," said Ren.  
"'Cause Tawny invited me to Tom's house with her," said Louis, "and I was just wondering if, you know, you think I should go."  
"Sure, why not?" Ren asked. "Do you think it would be weird if you went?"  
"Do Mom and Dad have big plans?" Louis asked.  
"No. Mom's working on her campaign and Dad's leaving for his business trip to Philadelphia tomorrow, remember? Oh, but Donnie is coming in on New Year's Eve. He'll probably want to see you."  
"Sounds pretty boring," said Louis.  
"Well, what do you expect?" Ren asked. "I think we've all outgrown banging pots and pans right now."  
"I'll never outgrow that, Ren."  
"Go to Tom's. You guys might have fun."  
"I guess," said Louis. "Well, thanks for the help, Ren. Good luck with the internship for the Terminator."  
Ren shook her head and closed the door to her room.  
  
"Tawny, can I talk to you for a minute?" Mrs. Dean walked into Tawny's room, her black thick-rimmed glasses perched on her nose.  
Tawny closed her book of poetry and sat up on her bed. "Yeah, sure, Mom."  
"Honey, I know you've been spending a lot of time with Tom lately, and that's nice," said Mrs. Dean, "but don't you think you're neglecting Daddy and me sometimes?"  
"What do you mean?" Tawny asked.  
"Well, you spent Thanksgiving and half of Christmas at his house, and now you're going over there for New Years . honey, I don't know. It seems unhealthy."  
"Mom, I know you're a psychologist, but you don't know me as well as you think," said Tawny. "Look, Tom and I are both only children and we don't have many relatives living in the area so we get really bored around holidays. Okay? That's all there is to it."  
"All right," said Mrs. Dean. "I just don't want you to get hurt."  
"Mom, Tom has never even had a girlfriend before," said Tawny. "He's not the type of person who would hurt me. Besides, Louis is probably going over there too."  
"Oh," said Mrs. Dean. "Well, I hope that works out."  
"It will, Mom. We're just friends."  
"If you say so." Mrs. Dean patted Tawny's legs and left the room.  
Tawny buried her nose back in her poetry book.  
  
"Oh my goodness, sweetie, you look awful," said Mrs. Dean when Tawny walked into the living room, her eyes red and her hair rumpled over her shoulders.  
"I haven't been able to sleep all night," said Tawny. "I have the worst headache."  
"Did you take an aspirin?"  
"I tried that. It didn't work. Mom, can you make me some tea?" Tawny shuffled to the couch and slumped into it.  
"Of course I will, honey," Mrs. Dean told her. She went into the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with a steaming mug of tea. Handing it to Tawny, she said, "It's almost eleven. You probably shouldn't go to Tom's like this."  
"Oh, crap," said Tawny. "No, maybe I'll feel better in a few hours."  
"I don't want you to leave the house today," said Mrs. Dean.  
"Mom, you're only saying that because you don't want me to go over there," said Tawny. She threw her arm in the air in resignment. "Forget it."  
"Get back into bed, Tawny," Mrs. Dean instructed. "You probably have a migraine. Have you been stressed recently?"  
"Enough with the psychology, Mom. I'm going to lie down and try to think happy thoughts." She slowly climbed the stairs to her room, shut the door, and lay in her bed, pulling the covers up to her chin.  
  
Louis walked up Tom's driveway and cast his eyes around, looking for Tawny's car. She must not be there yet. He rang the doorbell and Tom pulled it open enthusiastically, smiling. When he saw Louis he regained his composition.  
"Oh, Louis, it's you."  
"Did Tawny tell you I was coming?" Louis asked.  
"Yes, she did," said Tom, "I just expected her to be here by now. Would you like to come in? Mother and I were just picking out music to play tonight."  
Louis stepped inside the house and Tom led him into the living room, where Mr. Gribalski sat on the couch looking through a photo album and Mrs. Gribalski was bent over a small cupboard, sifting through CDs.  
"Hello, Louis." Mrs. Gribalski turned around in her squatting position and extended her hand. "I'm glad you could make it."  
Louis shook her hand and sat on the couch next to Mr. Gribalski, tapping his foot impatiently.  
"Thomas, go get one of your games to keep Louis occupied," Mrs. Gribalski instructed.  
"You know, it's okay," said Louis, "I can just sit here."  
"No, you're our guest. We're going to keep you entertained," she insisted. "Go on, Thomas, get Scrabble."  
  
"I'm going to miss you so much," Ren told Travis. They were sitting on his day bed, holding hands and watching a movie on his DVD player. "I can't believe you're leaving next semester."  
"You can visit me during spring break and during the summer," said Travis.  
"I know, I just can't imagine not seeing you at school. We can't even go to prom together."  
"I'm sorry, babe," said Travis. "It's just something I had to do. I know I made the right decision."  
"Well, I don't know if I made the right decision about going to UCLA. I've been feeling really strange ever since I mailed in that application," said Ren.  
"Don't worry. You'll do fine there." Travis stroked Ren's cheek and kissed her on the lips.  
"I hate making decisions," said Ren. "I thought my future was set. I was going to Yale, I would get a degree, then maybe go to graduate school, get a high-paying job, get my own apartment on the East Coast."  
"You can do all those things," Travis assured her. "Come on, don't think about it right now, please? In a few hours it'll be the New Year, and you can get a brand new start." He rubbed Ren's back. "God, that sounded cheesy."  
Ren burrowed into Travis' shoulder and said, "I wish we could at least be together."  
"It's okay," Travis whispered. He kissed Ren's forehead and stroked her hair, then pulled her face toward his and kissed her lips. She kissed him back. His hands went to her hips and he began lifting her shirt.  
"Wait," said Ren, pulling her shirt down adamantly. "Let's not do this."  
Travis held his hands in front of him, inching away from her. "Why?"  
"I just . I'm not ready for it again." Ren sat up in his bed and straightened her clothes. "I'm sorry," she said, looking into his eyes.  
"All right," Travis said resignedly.  
Ren sat back in Travis' arms and put his arm around her shoulder. "This is nice," she said.  
Travis nodded.  
"Are you okay with this?"  
"With what?" Travis asked.  
"You know what. The celibacy thing," said Ren.  
"Well, I'm not really okay with you freaking out every time I try to touch you," Travis told her, "when I'm not necessarily trying to get sex. I mean, I am a man, but I'm not just after one thing."  
"I know you're not, sweetie," said Ren. "I just don't think we should have sex anymore. You know that. Come on, we lasted for two and a half years without it and we were fine."  
"I thought we could progress in our relationship," said Travis.  
"We don't have to do that physically," Ren pointed out.  
"Let's not fight, okay? I'll do whatever you want." Travis leaned against his bed and stiffly put his arm around Ren's shoulder.  
  
The phone rang in the middle of the second game of Scrabble. Tom excused himself from the room and picked it up in the kitchen. "Gribalski residence."  
"Oh my gosh, Tom, I'm so sorry I didn't call earlier," Tawny said on the other line. "Is Louis there?"  
"Yes, he's been here for over an hour," said Tom.  
"Listen, Tom, I fell asleep," said Tawny. "I'm really sick and I can't come over. I'm so sorry."  
"It's all right," said Tom. "I hope you feel better."  
"Okay, well, I have a headache and I really need to rest, so I have to go. Tell Louis I'm sorry and have a good New Year." Tawny hung up.  
Tom retreated to the living room and sat back on the couch. "That was Tawny," he told Louis. "She can't come over. She's sick."  
"Oh, poor thing," Mrs. Gribalski remarked.  
"What?" Louis cried. "She's sick? So we're just going to be here, you and me, alone?"  
"I guess so," said Tom.  
"Why don't you go over to her house and bring her some flowers?" said Mr. Gribalski. "Don't just leave her hanging."  
"Ed, where are they going to get flowers on New Year's Eve?" Mrs. Gribalski asked. "All the shops close in just a few hours."  
"It's all right, Mother. If you let Louis and me take your car we can drive to a flower shop and get here some. I think she'd appreciate it. She enjoys natural things," said Tom.  
"All right, let me get my purse for you." Mrs. Gribalski brought her purse in from the hallway closet and handed Tom some money. "You boys be careful now."  
"We will," said Tom.  
He and Louis climbed into Mrs. Gribalski's car and Tom pulled out onto the road. "So, where shall we go?"  
"I don't know," said Louis. "I've never bought flowers for anyone before."  
"Not even when you and Tawny were dating?"  
"Oh, no, I just stole those from people's gardens."  
"Oh. Well, do you know what kinds of flowers Tawny likes?"  
"Not the squirting kind."  
"I see."  
  
Mrs. Dean pulled open the front door and smiled at Louis and Tom. "Hi, come on in," she said.  
Louis and Tom stepped inside. The house was quiet and dark, with only the sound of the dishwasher running in the kitchen.  
"Tawny doesn't feel very well," said Mrs. Dean, "but you can go up to her room and see if she's awake."  
Tom tiptoed up the stairs and Louis followed him. They both rapped on Tawny's door and from inside her room they heard a tired and muffled, "Come in."  
Tawny sat up in bed as Tom and Louis entered her room. Tom held out a bouquet of softly colored orange roses to Tawny, and her face lit up.  
"Oh, wow, Tom, they're beautiful," Tawny gasped. "They already make me feel better."  
"Louis helped pick them out too," Tom admitted.  
"Ohhh," Tawny cooed. "Well, that's really sweet. I'm sorry I couldn't spend New Years with you guys. I can just barely get out of bed."  
"It's all right. You need your rest," said Tom.  
"Yeah, I hope you feel better soon," Louis told her.  
"Thanks," said Tawny. "Hey, I'll call you tomorrow if I'm feeling better, okay, Tom? It was really nice of you guys to stop by."  
"No problem," said Louis.  
"Come here." Tawny grabbed Tom's hand and kissed the top of it. Tom smiled and withdrew his hand. Louis tried to avert his eyes from the scene.  
Tom and Louis filed down the stairs and out of the Deans' house, then got back into Mrs. Gribalski's car.  
"So you and Tawny are really close," Louis observed.  
"Well, we are sort of an item," Tom said, smiling broadly.  
"Yeah, I can tell. You guys go out on dates and stuff?" Louis fiddled with the radio dials in the front of the car.  
"Not really. But we are going to prom together," said Tom.  
"Oh. Prom. I see." Louis cleared his throat. "So, uh, I thought Tawny wasn't into dances. What's up with that, man?"  
"Louis, I'd like to not perpetuate your jealousy toward us," said Tom.  
"Jealous - what, Tom, I am not jealous!" Louis insisted. "I was just wondering, that's all. By the time prom comes around I might have my own date, right?"  
"Sure," said Tom.  
"So don't assume that I'm jealous of you and Tawny, because I'm not. Me and Tawny had our fun, but we're over now."  
"All right."  
"Hey, man, where are you going? You can turn here. Drop me off at my house." Louis flopped against the back of his seat.  
"If you insist."  
"Have fun spending New Years with your mom," said Louis, and climbed out of the car before Tom had even fully pulled into his driveway. He slammed the car door and raced into his house, where he spent the rest of the night playing video games.  
  
"Four . three . two . one! Happy New Year!"  
Travis and Ren bounced up and down in front of Travis' TV, then embraced each other.  
"Happy 2005, Ren," said Travis. "I hope it's the best year ever."  
"Me, too." Ren kissed Travis on the cheek. "Happy 2005."  
Travis' parents and little sister burst into his room, his mother racing to hug and kiss him and his sister wrapping her arms around Travis' waist.  
"Whoa, whoa!" said Travis. "I thought we agreed that Ren and I would spend New Year's Eve alone."  
"It's not New Year's Eve anymore," Mrs. Gresham pointed out. "Oh, Ren, I'm so glad you could be here. This means a lot to Travis. We're so proud of our son."  
Ren smiled.  
"Hey, Mom, Dad, Lindsay, would you mind leaving us alone for a few minutes?" Travis asked.  
"Are you two gonna kiss?" Lindsay asked.  
"Come on, sugar." Mr. Gresham tousseled Lindsay's hair and guided her out of the room. Mrs. Gresham closed the door.  
Travis turned back to Ren and held both her hands in his. "This was a really special night," said Travis. "I'm glad we could celebrate it together."  
"Me, too," said Ren.  
"Listen, Ren, I really respect your wishes," said Travis, "and you're the first girlfriend I ever had and it means a lot to me that our relationship has lasted this long. It's just, I don't think we have anything left to explore."  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Ren asked.  
"We're both moving on with our lives," said Travis, "and I just think we need a break from each other. Just a little break."  
"For how long?" Ren wanted to know.  
"I don't know," said Travis. "I need to start packing soon and figuring out stuff . I just don't want to deal with anything right now."  
"No, Travis, I can help you," Ren assured him. "I'm really good at organizing."  
"I know. Ren, I hate to do this to you, but I have to," said Travis. "I'm sorry. Can we just, I mean, just step back from each other for awhile?"  
"Are you going to date someone else?" Ren narrowed her eyes at Travis, backing toward his bed. She could hardly believe he was telling her this on New Year's.  
"No! No," said Travis. He put his arms on Ren's shoulders. "Ren." He put his arms down and turned around. "You don't understand."  
"Make me understand," Ren insisted. "I've known you since eighth grade, I think we can work this out. We're not little kids anymore."  
"Okay," said Travis. "Okay, here's the deal. I don't want you to try to contact me when I go to college. I'll call you. I don't want this to be messy."  
"Sure," said Ren. "Whatever. I'll just leave now and make this easy for you."  
"I told you, I don't want to argue about this, Ren. You can do whatever you want. I'll call you. I promise." Travis held open his bedroom door for Ren. "Have a safe trip home." 


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Second semester came and seemed to go by quickly; Tawny and Tom both got into the spring school play and spent four afternoons a week rehearsing after school. When rehearsal was over they would go to the park or out to get coffee or Tawny would set up her laptop in Tom's room and they would do schoolwork together.  
Louis filed papers for Steve on the weekend and was paid for it, but he still didn't have a car and wasn't keeping up with his schoolwork much. Steve and Eileen decided to leave him alone for the time being, and it was already pretty much decided that he would be going to Texas for the summer to work on mechanics. Louis didn't protest, but he spent most of his time holed up in his room anyway.  
Ruby and Monique dragged Tawny and Ren to the mall to buy prom dresses in mid-March, despite Ren's protest of, "Girls, I told you, I might not even go!"  
"Don't worry, we'll find you a date," Monique assured her.  
Ruby insisted she give Tawny a makeover, naming a list of products she just had to get. After Tawny had purchased the recommended makeup, she didn't even have enough money left for a dress.  
Tawny was relieved when the spring play's run finally ended and she and Tom took their final bows.  
"Oh, honey, you've lost so much weight," Mrs. Mendel remarked when Tawny walked through the audience, carrying the roses her father had brought up onstage for her. "You've been overworking yourself."  
"I don't think so," Tawny replied.  
"Tawny, Tom, excellent performances!" Steve exclaimed, extending his hand to Tom. "You two are great budding actors."  
"Yes, you did a wonderful job," Eileen agreed. "What do you think, kids?"  
"It was really good," said Ren. "Of course, I've already seen it twice, I am head of the theatre committee."  
"Louis?" Eileen turned to Louis.  
"Yeah, sure," said Louis, looking sideways.  
"Hey, um, Louis, do you want to go out for ice cream with me and Tom? His parents are taking us," Tawny offered.  
"No," said Louis. "I'm not hungry."  
"Okay," said Tawny. "I'm just going to change, I'll be right back."  
Tom broke free from the crowd and made his way toward the dressing rooms after Tawny.  
"Louis, look alive," said Steve. "This isn't time to feel sorry for yourself."  
"Let's just go home," said Louis.  
  
Ren bolted upright in her bed and glanced at her calendar. She sighed at the date circled in red. Today was it. Well, six months ago the day had been regarded as "it." It was still "it" for lots of other kids, but for her it was just another day.  
"Ren," said Eileen as Ren ate breakfast in the kitchen, "are you checking the mail when you come home from school today?"  
"I guess," said Ren, stirring her cereal.  
"Just remember, honey, no matter what those letters say, you still made the right decision."  
The entire day seemed to drag by in a huge blur. Most seniors at HESHS could barely focus on their work, and a lot of the senior teachers dismissed their classes ten or fifteen minutes early, telling them to run home and check their mail or just clear their heads. Larry Beale strode confidently down the hall, wishing students luck and congratulations.  
"Hello, Ren," he said when he got to her.  
"Hi, Larry. I see you're apparently the new spokesperson for Princeton," said Ren.  
"Actually, seven students have already come up to me saying their parents called them and told them they were, uh." Larry straightened his tie and leaned in toward Ren. "Rejected."  
"You still have to be such a jerk, don't you?" Ren asked.  
"It's just too bad the thrill of this day was taken away from you," said Larry.  
"It was taken away from you, too," Ren pointed out.  
"Yes, but I am going to Princeton."  
"I'm not going to waste my time on you, Larry Beale. Have a nice day." Ren marched past Larry and jiggled the lock on her locker, trying to remember the combination she had had memorized since September.  
"Ren!" Ruby rushed up to Ren, skidding across the floor to stop herself from running into Ren's open locker. "Guess what?"  
"You got accepted to NYU?" Ren asked.  
"Yes!" Ruby shrieked. "My mom just called me on my cell phone in the middle of biology. Oh my gosh, it was so embarrassing, my phone started playing 'God Bless America' and."  
"Ruby!" Ren cried, hugging Ruby. "Oh my gosh, congratulations!"  
"I know! I know!" Ruby yelled. "I'm going back to New York!"  
They both embraced each other, jumping up and down together. The bell rang and Ruby stopped jumping to catch her breath. "Well, I just I should get to class, not that it really matters if I study anymore."  
"Have you heard anything from Monique?" Ren wanted to know.  
"Nothing. I think she's waiting it out until she gets home, since her mom works during the day. The suspense must be killing her."  
"I know." Ren tucked her history book under her arm and patted Ruby's shoulder. "Well, I have to go. Congratulations again, I'm so happy for you."  
"Thanks." Ruby clapped her hands together and then took a deep breath to compose herself. "Call me after school, okay?"  
"Yeah. Definitely." Ren nodded and walked toward her class.  
By the time Louis reached Ren's car Ren was practically hopping up and down on one foot. She flicked Louis' arm angrily as he pulled open the passenger door. "I almost left without you," Ren seethed, climbing into the driver's seat. "What were you doing?"  
"Geez, chill out," said Louis. "I was standing in line for the soda machine."  
Ren turned her key in the ignition and briefly checked her rearview mirror before jerking her car backwards and speeding out of the parking lot. "We have soda at home!" she said.  
"Why are you in such a hurry to get home anyways? It's not like you'll get a chance to go to any of the colleges you're accepted to."  
"I just want to know," said Ren impatiently. "Put on your seatbelt."  
Ren made it home in record time and pulled into the driveway. Louis followed her to the mailbox. "Um, yeah right," said Ren. "I want to do this alone."  
"Weirdo," Louis muttered, and walked toward the house.  
Ren pulled out a stack of envelopes of varying sizes from the mailbox and rushed inside, balancing the teetering envelopes carefully in her arms. She sat on the bottom step of the staircase and sifted through the mail as quickly as she could: University of Michigan, large envelope. Berkeley, large envelope. Columbia, small envelope. Harvard, large envelope. Ren's eyes widened. Swarthmore, small envelope. Bryn Mawr, large envelope. Notre Dame, large envelope. Dartmouth, small envelope. Ren's hands paused before she lifted the small letter off the last large envelope. The envelope was stamped with the same seal she had received in November. Her hands shook as she slid her finger under the flap and tore open the envelope. She pulled out the letter slowly and turned it around to face her.  
Congratulations.  
Ren's heart leapt into her throat and her eyes burned with tears. "Oh my God," she whispered. "I got in."  
Ren picked up all her envelopes and slowly climbed the stairs to her room. She dumped the pile of papers on her bed and sat on the edge of it, staring at her wall.  
Louis knocked on her doorframe and entered her room. "So how'd you do?" he asked, smirking.  
"Just shut up," Ren said softly. "And close the door."  
"I take it you got good news, then?" Louis asked.  
"Get out!" Ren yelled, her voice rising. She sprung up from her bed and slammed the door in Louis' face, locking it behind him. She flopped down on her bed and buried her head in her hands.  
Ten minutes later Ren's phone rang and she halfheartedly picked it up, taking a deep shaky breath. "Hello?" she said into the phone, trying to clear her throat by forcing a small cough.  
"Ren, it's Ruby," said Ruby. "Have you heard from Monique yet? I left her a voicemail but she didn't pick up."  
"I haven't," said Ren.  
"Are you okay?" Ruby asked. "You sound kind of choked up."  
Ren sniffled and a sob escaped her chest. "I got into Harvard and Yale," she told Ruby.  
"Oh, Ren," Ruby said sympathetically. "Wow . that's really amazing. I mean, it shows that you're really talented."  
"So what? It doesn't mean anything," Ren moaned.  
"I know, Ren, but you're going to do great at UCLA," Ruby encouraged her. "Believe me, you won't regret it, Ren. I've been there and they have an amazing campus."  
"Yeah," said Ren, "sure."  
"Look, if you don't like it there you can always transfer, right? I mean, you did get into Yale, they should let you in second semester or your sophomore year or something," said Ruby. "Or, I mean, if you really want to go maybe you could even talk to UCLA about giving up your internship."  
"No, I can't do that," said Ren. "I'm bound to them through a written agreement."  
"Still, Ren, at least give it a chance," said Ruby. "Hey, this weekend we should have a girl's night out, you know, cookies and ice cream and movies. What do you say?"  
"Maybe," Ren sighed.  
"Okay, well, I'm sorry, but I have to go," said Ruby. "My mom's bugging me about doing the dishes. I'm going to call Monique and then I can call you back, if you want."  
"It's okay. I don't want to take away from you celebrating getting into NYU," said Ren.  
"No, don't worry, Ren," Ruby told her. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"  
"Okay. See you." Ren hung up and fell back on her bed, suddenly feeling tired and drained.  
"Kids, you both look like you've just learned your puppies ran away," Eileen commented at dinner. Ren and Louis sat stone-faced at the table, barely picking at their food. "Why so much sulking?"  
"Maybe we just don't feel like being happy," said Louis.  
"That's never good," said Steve. "You know what works? Just smile." He demonstrated by pulling at the corners of his lips in an exaggerated grin. "It always makes you feel better."  
"Louis, how was school today?" Eileen asked.  
"Normal," said Louis.  
"That's good. No tragedies." Eileen laughed. "Ren? Ace anymore tests?"  
"No," said Ren.  
"Well, kids, prom is coming up next week, are you excited?" Eileen tried.  
"I'm not going," Louis and Ren said simultaneously.  
"Oh."  
"Your mother and I brought home a special dessert tonight," said Steve. "I bet you're excited to see what it is."  
"Actually, I think I'm just going up to my room now," said Louis, standing up with his plate.  
"Me too," said Ren.  
Louis and Ren set their plates in the sink and marched single-file up the stairs.  
"So I heard about Ren's acceptance letters," Steve said in a low voice as soon as Ren and Louis were out of the room.  
"She's pretty upset about it," Eileen said.  
"More upset than she would have been if she were rejected from Yale?" Louis asked.  
"Shh. Steve, it's probably best just not to bring it up."  
"And Louis keeps swinging in and out of his depressive moods. I feel as if we're in some kind of impoverished home," said Steve.  
"Maybe we should get him help," Eileen suggested. "He still hasn't come to terms with Tawny and Tom's relationship yet."  
"They're in high school," said Steve. "High school relationships don't always last forever."  
"You know, the Deans are both psychologists," Eileen pointed out. "They deal with things like this every day. I bet they could recommend a good therapist for Louis."  
"Why doesn't he just go to one of them? Then he could confront them with his issues about their daughter."  
"Steve, this isn't something to joke about," said Eileen. "Ren's strong, she'll pull through, but Louis . I don't know, Steve. I'm worried about him."  
"Well, if you think it'll help him, then get a therapist," said Steve.  
"Maybe he does just need someone to talk to. He feels so frustrated whenever one of us tries to talk to him."  
"He's a teenage boy," said Steve. "It's normal."  
"I don't care if it's normal," said Eileen. "He's still miserable. I'll call the Deans tomorrow."  
  
Lunchtime was somber at school. Tawny tore apart her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, examining its contents, and Ruby munched on carrot sticks while Ren and Monique sat silently.  
"Hey, Ruby, could I talk to you?" Tawny asked after a few minutes. "Over by the, uh, the anti-drug poster?"  
Ruby got out of her seat and followed Tawny into the corner.  
"Okay, why are Monique and Ren so depressed?" Tawny asked.  
"Ren got into Yale and Harvard, and Monique didn't get into USC or UCLA," Ruby replied. "She's going to University of San Diego."  
"At least she got in there," Tawny remarked.  
"Yeah, but when she heard that Ren was going to UCLA she got really excited about it, and then she didn't even get in. So now Ren feels even worse about that. The whole thing's really complicated."  
"Okay," said Tawny. "Well, I think I'm gonna go sit with Tom. They're kind of creeping me out."  
"Yeah, give them their space," said Ruby. "They both kind of want to be left alone right now."  
Ruby sat back down at her lunch table and smiled at Monique and Ren.  
Ren picked up one of Ruby's carrot sticks and took a bite of it. Monique followed. Ruby pushed her piece of Saran wrap on which the carrot sticks sat toward the center of the table.  
"Depression is the best diet ever," Monique sniffled.  
"I hope you're not depressed, Monique," said Ruby.  
"Well, I am. I have a right to be depressed," said Monique. "I don't have to be peppy all the time."  
Ruby opened her mouth to speak but then shut it.  
The lunch bell rang and Ruby rose from her seat, relieved. Monique disappeared into the crowd of people filing into the hallway, and Ren caught up with Ruby and walked alongside her.  
"Ren," said Ruby, "you got into UCLA and Monique didn't even get in, see?"  
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Ren asked. "You insulting Monique?"  
"I'm not insulting her. The school has very selective admission," said Ruby.  
"What was I thinking when I accepted that internship?" Ren asked. "Was I stupid? I mean, I got accepted to six top schools. I could have chosen from any one of them."  
"But you didn't know that before, Ren," said Ruby.  
"I have to get to class," said Ren.  
"Okay, well, don't forget about this weekend," said Ruby. "After work on Saturday I'm taking you and Monique on a huge grocery shopping spree with me and we're totally going to pig out."  
"I don't know if I'll be hungry yet," said Ren. 


	19. Chapter Eighteen

"Oh, you look so handsome," Mrs. Gribalski gushed, making Tom turn to the side as she flashed her camera at him. "You're going to be center of attention at your prom dance."  
"Mother, I want to be able to see what Tawny looks like," Tom joked, "which I can't do if I have yellow lights flashing inside my eyelids."  
"Just one more. Ed, get in the picture with your son. Put your arm around him, look like you're proud. There you go."  
Tom rubbed his eyes and took the single white rose his mother handed him. "Are you sure the flower isn't too overdramatic?" Tom asked.  
"I went to proms," Mrs. Gribalski replied. "Believe me, I know what girls want. Roses never get old."  
"You excited, Tom?" Mr. Gribalski asked as he drove Tom to the Doubletree Hotel, where the 2005 HESHS prom was taking place.  
"I suppose," Tom replied. "You're picking me up at eleven, right?"  
"On the dot," said Mr. Gribalski. He pulled into a parking spot outside the brightly lit hotel lobby. "Well, here we are. Have fun."  
Tom walked slowly toward the building, clutching the rose in his hand. He pulled open the door to the lobby and was directed to Ballroom 4. The room was filled with music and kids mulling around or huddled in the corners, kissing, talking, drinking, laughing, and dancing. Tom looked around for anyone he knew and waved meekly at a few people, then chose a corner and stepped into it, crossing one leg over the other to as he leaned against the wall.  
"Sorry I had to come separately," Tawny's voice sounded next to him. "My mom insisted on doing my makeup."  
Tom turned his head and smiled at Tawny. She was wearing a long black dress with tiny multicolored squares sewn into the bottom of it, with red high heels and a string of roughly cut rubies around her neck. Her hair was perfectly straight and she wore black gloves over her arms. "You look great," said Tom.  
"Thanks. You too." Tawny held out the crook of her elbow to Tom and Tom slipped his arm through hers, then quickly held out the rose for her. She took it and they made their way toward the dance floor.  
"Tom!" Monique and Ruby shrieked, rushing toward Tom and Tawny.  
"You two look so adorable," said Monique, whose arm was draped around the neck of a very unfamiliar, tall man.  
"Tawny, I love your dress, it's so unique!" cried Ruby.  
"Hey, is Ren here?" Tawny asked.  
"No, she's not coming," Ruby lamented. "Hey Tom, we may have to switch partners sometime during the night." She winked.  
"You came stag!" Monique shouted over the music.  
A slow song started and Tom pulled Tawny close to him, resting his forehead against hers. "I wish we could just be on this dance floor all by ourselves."  
"Yeah, me too. This is more like a frat party than I imagined a prom to be," said Tawny, as some boys starting booing in the back of the room and waving their hands in the air, chanting a request for some heavy metal song.  
"At least it's supervised," said Tom.  
"Yeah. No alcohol until after-prom," Tawny joked. "Hey, speaking of which, are you going?"  
"No, Father's picking me up at eleven," said Tom.  
"Oh. Really? I'm not getting picked up until like one. My dad borrowed my car to go out drinking with some of his coworkers."  
"You can come home with me, if you'd like," Tom offered.  
"Okay," said Tawny.  
After a few hours of dancing, Tawny changed into the casual outfit she had brought for after-prom and went back onto the dance floor, shaking out her hair.  
"So that's where you disappeared to," said Tom when she came back. He held out a glass of punch for her.  
Tawny took a small sip. "Thanks. God, I was so uncomfortable. I hope I don't get kicked out for violating the dress code."  
A Britney Spears song began to play and the boys who were perpetually in the back of the room started booing again. Tawny couldn't help agreeing with them.  
"Hey, Tawny, you look comfortable!" Ruby shouted, dragging a lanky boy by the hand behind her. "Come on out and dance, you two."  
"I can't stand this music," Tom said quietly.  
"Yeah, me neither. But hey, I could dance." Tawny reached out her hand to Tom and he took it, and she ran into the middle of the dance floor, giggling.  
For the next three minutes Tawny dug her tennis shoes into the wooden floor, twisting around to the music and banging her head. Ruby abandoned her temporary dance partner and grabbed Tom's hands, making him dance to the music. When the song was over, Tom put his arm around Tawny's waist and dipped her.  
"You go!" Monique said to Tom and Tawny. "That was quite the funky dance."  
Tawny laughed and went over to the refreshments table to get a cookie.  
The dance started to slow down after a few more hours, and Tom came back into the ballroom from the lobby to tell Tawny that his father was there to pick them up.  
Tawny got her coat and the plastic bag containing her prom dress from the coat room and she and Tom climbed into Mr. Gribalski's car.  
"I hope you don't mind if Tawny comes over for awhile," said Tom.  
"No problem," Mr. Gribalski said.  
"That was so much fun!" Tawny exclaimed. "I never thought I could have so much fun at a stupid school dance."  
"Yes, it was quite exhilarating at times," Tom agreed.  
Tom and Tawny sat on Tom's bed, Tom adjusting and readjusting the knot in his tie. He looked at the digital clock on his nightstand. "Wow, it's past midnight already. I didn't realize it was so late. Mother and Father are probably asleep by now."  
"Yeah, I should probably call my dad," said Tawny. "He might be sober by now." She laughed.  
"You can stay," said Tom.  
They sat in silence for a few seconds, and then Tom hoisted himself off the bed and turned on his TV. Tawny glanced at the pillow next to her on which the remote control was sitting.  
"What do you want to watch?" Tom asked, flicking through the channels manually.  
"Um, I don't know," said Tawny. "Hey Tom, your remote's over here."  
"Oh." Tom perched on his bed and smiled close-lipped at Tawny. She smiled back.  
"I actually saw this movie a few years ago. It was pretty good," said Tawny.  
"What?" Tom asked.  
"The movie that's on TV."  
"Sorry, I must be tired. Do you want anything to eat?"  
"No, it's okay." Tawny folded her hands in her lap and crossed her legs, shifting uncomfortably.  
Suddenly Tom leaned over and kissed Tawny on the lips. Tawny nearly pulled away after a few seconds, expecting the kiss to only last that long, but instead Tom kept kissing her. She reached out for his hand and placed it on her cheek, guiding his shoulder to turn her head toward his. Scooting toward Tom on the bed, she put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him backwards onto his pillow. The kiss ended a few seconds later and Tawny pulled back, gasping.  
"Wow," said Tom.  
Tawny laughed. "Yeah. Wow."  
Tom narrowed his eyes at Tawny. She was kneeling on his bed, her body almost right over his chest.  
"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry," said Tawny. "My shoes are on your bed." She pulled off her shoes one at a time and threw them onto the floor. They made two hard thumps against his closet.  
"Yes, I suppose I should take this off." Tom squirmed out of his sports jacket and tossed it over the side of his bed.  
"And these," Tawny added, jokingly pulling Tom's socks off and draping them over his face.  
"And." Tom took his tie off and put it around Tawny's neck. Then he struggled to sit up underneath Tawny and turned Tawny backwards onto the floor on the other side of his bed.  
"Shh," said Tawny, placing her finger over Tom's mouth. "We're going to wake your parents up." She grinned slyly and giggled.  
Tom unzipped his pants and slid them down his legs sensually, making purring noises.  
"You wore Spiderman boxers to prom?" Tawny chortled.  
"I did indeed." Tom raised his eyebrows in mock appeal.  
"Geez, did they spike the punch or something?" Tawny asked, unbuttoning the top button of Tom's shirt and rubbing his collar between her fingers.  
"Maybe." Tom unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way and pulled it open, exposing his chest.  
"Whoa," said Tawny, taken aback. "You do work out."  
Tom put his fingers on Tawny's waist and inched his hands up to her shoulders, pulling the top part of her shirt around her shoulders. Tawny reached up her hand and firmly put it over Tom's. Tom quickly let his hands drop from her shoulders.  
"No. It's okay," said Tawny.  
"Are you sure?" Tom asked.  
Tawny nodded. "Yes."  
Tom removed Tawny's shirt and then she took off her pants. They knelt on his bed, staring at each other's bodies. Tawny ran her hand down Tom's chest and stomach. Then she kissed his neck softly.  
Tom pulled back the covers of his bed and slid under them, then held them up for Tawny. He started stroking her neck and hair, kissing her hand. She moved closer to him and put his hand on her cheek. "Tom," she said. "I just want you to know . I'm a virgin."  
"Oh," said Tom. It was a surprised "oh," but there was also a note of relieved happiness in his voice. He paused for a few seconds and then said, "Well, so am I."  
"I know. I mean, I figured. God." Tawny put her hand over her mouth and tried not to laugh.  
Tom hugged her closer to him and pulled her into another long kiss. 


	20. Chapter Nineteen

"I don't want to talk about my problems, okay?" said Louis.  
Dr. Linda Bradovich, who insisted on being called "Linda," adjusted her thin glasses frames and tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ear. "That's okay, Louis," she told him. "Why don't you just answer some questions for me."  
"Are those the same questions you ask all your other patients?" Louis asked.  
"They're just a set of questions that allow me to get to know you," Linda replied. "I want to have a background on your home life and your everyday customs and habits."  
"There isn't that much to tell," said Louis. "It's not like I've suppressed memories of my dad beating me or something."  
"I didn't say you had." Linda shifted the clipboard on her lap and held a shiny, narrow pen poised over the paper. "Now, what time do you usually go to sleep at night?"  
"I don't know, eleven or twelve." Louis scratched his head uncomfortably.  
"And how long does it usually take you to fall asleep after you've gotten in bed?"  
"Maybe half an hour."  
"Good. Okay. Now your parents."  
"Can we please just not do this?" Louis asked. "This is really stupid."  
"But don't you think we should get to know each other a little before we discuss some deeper issues?" Linda asked.  
"I don't know anything about you," Louis pointed out.  
"Then I'll tell you."  
"No, I don't want to know. I just want our hour to be up so I can go home," said Louis. "This is the stupidest thing I've ever done."  
"Do you like to write, Louis? Or draw?"  
"No."  
"Do you sing? Act?"  
"I do stand-up comedy, okay?"  
"Then why don't you do some for me," Linda suggested.  
"What, here?" Louis asked, looking around the room.  
"Sure." Linda smiled.  
"No way. My parents are paying you, you're not paying me. I only work for commission," said Louis.  
"I see you do have a sense of humor," Linda remarked. "Well, how about this. You can tell me a little bit about your school and then I'll tell you about my education." She folded one leg over the other, the diamond clasp on her red high heel glistening as she shifted positions.  
"Our school is for really smart people," Louis told her. "You have to have, like, insanely good grades if you want to make it out of there, and there are these classes that are like two years above what normal level classes are. My sister takes those."  
"Do you?"  
"No, man, do you think I'm crazy?" said Louis. "I can barely get by in regular classes. It sucks."  
"Have you ever talked to your parents about this?" Linda asked.  
"I've tried to, but they just think I'm a slacker. I mean, I don't understand the assignment, how am I supposed to do the homework, you know?"  
"Well, sure," said Linda, "that wouldn't make sense to try to do work that you didn't comprehend. Have you spoken to any of your teachers about a tutoring program?"  
"No, it's useless," said Louis.  
"Why?"  
"Because everyone else in the school is really smart."  
"I bet that's not true, Louis. You seem intelligent to me."  
"Maybe I'm smart, but I'm not a school person," Louis explained. "My parents want me to go into engineering or something 'cause I'm really good at mechanics."  
"That's always a good skill to have."  
"My dad wants me to do this job shadowing over the summer. Well, I guess I have to," said Louis. "It's in Texas, with some of my brother's pals."  
"That sounds like a good learning opportunity," said Linda. "You seem unsure of it, is there a reason?"  
"I want to do stand-up comedy and no one will take me seriously," said Louis. "I've always been a prankster, but, I mean, I just don't want my dad to force me to do something I don't want to do, even if I am good at it, right?"  
"Maybe he just wants you to explore the possibilities," said Linda.  
"I have. I've been in school for eleven years and I know I'm not good at any of that stuff." Louis folded his arms over his chest. "So tell me about your schooling."  
"Well, I was raised in Pasadena and I went to Stanford for undergrad and then got my Ph.D. at Yale," Linda started.  
"That's where my sister wanted to go."  
"Oh, how old is your sister?"  
"She's a year older than me," said Louis. "She was accepted to Yale but she got an internship with Schwarzenegger and a scholarship to UCLA and she accepted that first. She was really upset when she got her acceptance letter. It was crazy."  
"That must have been a hard decision for her," said Linda, "but let's talk about your relationship with your sister. You mentioned you had a brother, I believe he's older?"  
"Yeah."  
"So is it just you three or do you have more siblings?"  
"Just us three."  
"Are you close with your sister and brother?"  
"No," said Louis. "I mean, Donnie's cool, he gets along with me and Ren, but we're not that close. We're four years apart and he's really athletic, you know. And me and Ren fight all the time. She's always been the smart one, I'm just the troublemaker."  
"So are you compared to your siblings a lot?" Linda asked.  
"It was worse in junior high," Louis replied. "My brother didn't even go to HESHS, it's kind of a new trend for Lawrence kids to be admitted."  
"Do you have any close friends, then?" Linda asked.  
"I used to. Me and my friend Twitty, we hang out, but he's more into surfing now."  
"Girlfriend?"  
"I did have one, but we broke up about twelve times," said Louis. "We were never really dating. Well, once, but it only lasted a few days. Now she's dating someone else."  
"Your parents told me you were upset about your break-up," said Linda.  
"No, I wasn't," said Louis. "I just think she deserves better than a dorky chess nerd, you know? I mean Tom can be cool, but he's definitely not one to appreciate her beauty."  
  
Tawny picked up the ringing phone in her kitchen and rubbed her eyes. The bleary digital numbers displayed on her microwave read 7:35 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Mrs. Dean's coffee was brewing by the sink while the shower water ran upstairs. "Hello," Tawny said, suppressing a yawn.  
"I just wanted to hear your voice," Tom replied.  
"Oh, Tom. Hi!" said Tawny. "Sorry, you kind of woke me up."  
"I'm sorry," said Tom. "But we didn't get a chance to talk much after . prom."  
"I know. Um, Tom," said Tawny, "I'm really glad we went to prom together, I'm just kind of weirded out about . about what happened afterwards."  
"Me, too," Tom agreed. "That's part of the reason I called you. I want to know where we are in our relationship."  
Part of Tawny's heart seemed to flutter out of her chest. She pressed her hand against her warm cheek. "That's really sweet," she uttered. "But maybe we should talk about this in person, you know, so it would be less awkward?"  
"I could come over to your place," Tom offered, "if your parents don't mind."  
"They wouldn't mind," said Tawny. "Do you have a ride?"  
"I could walk."  
"Wait, hang on." Tawny's ears perked up as she heard her mother turn off the shower upstairs. "I'll walk to your house and we can walk back to mine together."  
"All right."  
"Okay, see you in a few minutes." Tawny dashed upstairs to her room and threw on jeans and a t-shirt, gathering her hair into a ponytail. She slipped into her moccasins as she opened the front door, closing it as quietly as she could behind her.  
Tom and Tawny had gone on at least ten walks since they had begun dating. Tawny chuckled at the thought; walking was like "their thing." They walked in the crystal cold of winter, through a forest filled with shedding trees, and they walked through the park in the springtime, swinging their clasped hands behind them. Although Tawny usually drove to Tom's house it was only a twenty minute walk. She and Louis used to walk to each other's houses all the time before they got their licenses. It was kind of nice to not pay much attention to her surroundings and clear her mind instead of trying to focus on traffic. There wasn't much traffic now anyway, so the roads were almost entirely silent, and Tawny could hear her own breath as she walked.  
Tom was waiting on his porch, and he held out his hand to Tawny. She took it and they started walking back toward her house.  
"Yeah, Tom, so about prom," said Tawny.  
"Wow, you're a poet and you don't know it," Tom snickered.  
"Heh. Anyway, yeah," Tawny went on. "I mean, it was cool, but, yeah."  
"We shouldn't do it again," Tom concluded.  
"Well, that's not what I mean," said Tawny. "Except . yeah, it is. I mean, we're seventeen, Tom, you know?"  
"Relationships can suffice perfectly with only intellectual intercourse," said Tom.  
"Right," said Tawny. "So it's cool when you and I talk and play chess and go on walks and stuff, and sometimes it's even cool when we kiss, but, yeah, that's it."  
"I'm glad we agree," said Tom. "But." He stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk and turned to look at Tawny. "Tawny, I just want to know what you and Louis did."  
"We didn't do anything," said Tawny. "We just kissed. I told you that."  
"I know," said Tom, "I know."  
"You and I are much more compatible than me and Louis," Tawny assured him. "You have a great sense of humor, but you don't shirk your responsibilities like he does. We just had a stupid relationship that never should have gone past a friendship. Ugh!" Tawny stomped her foot against the concrete. "You know, the more I think about it the stupider it sounds. I mean, we were just kids. We still sort of are."  
"So are you ready for our relationship?" Tom asked.  
"Yeah. Because it wasn't forced, it just kind of happened," said Tawny. "But still, we're in high school, we don't need to be doing things like adults in relationships do."  
"Like opening a joint checking account?"  
Tawny laughed. "Thanks for that."  
They started walking again and finally reached Tawny's house.  
"Well, I hate to depart, but Sunday is Mother's cleaning day and she really didn't want me gone for more than an hour or so," said Tom. "By the time I get back home it'll be almost nine."  
"Oh. Well, I'll walk you back," Tawny offered.  
"No, it's all right," said Tom. "You probably want to get back to sleep."  
"Okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow at school."  
Tom leaned toward her tentatively and looked to her eyes for permission. She gave him a peck on the cheek and he kissed her on the nose. "See you later."  
"Bye," said Tawny.  
Tom watched Tawny open her front door and close it behind her, and then began his trek back to his house. 


	21. Chapter Twenty

"So how was prom, girls?" Ren asked at lunch the next day, hunched over a carton of yogurt.  
"It was fun," said Monique.  
"Yeah, it was nice," said Ruby. "But it would have been more fun if you had been there."  
"Tawny, what did you think?" Ren asked. "Oh, did you and Tom go?"  
Tawny nodded. "Yeah, we did."  
"She pulled a Ren on us and left with her date before we got to say good-bye," Monique teased. "Where'd you go, girl?"  
"Oh, Tom and his dad just took me home," Tawny said quickly, her eyes darting back and forth between Ruby and Monique. She looked down at her sandwich and took a bite of it.  
"You should have come with Monique and me. We went to after-prom and played games all night and watched people get drunk," said Ruby.  
"Including my date." Monique rolled her eyes. "I had to call a taxi to take me home."  
"How did the administration allow alcohol at a school-sponsored event?" Ren asked. "There should have been tighter security."  
"It was all in good fun, Ren," Ruby told her.  
"Still, that's a total health hazard," said Ren. "Do you know how many people die on prom night?"  
"You should have chaperoned," Monique said smugly.  
"Probably." Ren stirred her yogurt and lifted the spoon to her mouth, licking it off.  
"Are you actually going to eat that?" Monique asked.  
"Yeah, Ren, you've hardly eaten anything lately," said Ruby. "Why don't you have one of my cookies."  
Ren took one of Ruby's cookies and took a small bite out of it, then set it aside. It tasted like chalk in her mouth. "I haven't really been hungry," she said. "I got my dorm agreement yesterday."  
"Oh, sweetie, you have to stop feeling so guilty," said Ruby. "You're going to have a panic attack."  
"Yeah, Ren, you should really relax," Tawny advised. "I mean, when I'm stressed I do yoga. It really helps sometimes."  
"You can start running again," said Ruby.  
"Okay, girls, I don't need your advice!" Ren threw her napkin on the table. "I'm just stressing right now because we only have a little over a month of school left and I have to start studying for finals soon and everything's just been building up."  
"I know what you mean," said Monique.  
"Me too," said Tawny.  
"Ren, can you please do us a favor and eat something? You're making me nervous," said Ruby. "You'll feel better if you eat, it'll clear your thoughts."  
"I can't," said Ren. "I have a quiz next period."  
"Then you need to eat even more," said Ruby, "for energy. Besides, it just a quiz, Ren, right?"  
"Can we talk about something else now?" Ren asked.  
Ruby, Monique, and Tawny were silent.  
Ren sighed. "I'm sorry."  
"Ren," said Monique, "I know you're really upset about the whole school thing, but so am I, so can we please come to some agreement that we'll both just not talk about it?"  
"I'm not talking about," said Ren.  
"Well, let's talk about our senior trip," said Ruby. "Girls, this summer we're going to Hawaii, right?"  
"I don't know," said Ren.  
"Come on, we've been talking about this for two years," said Ruby. "Remember, we're all free in July so we're going on a trip?"  
"That's really expensive," said Monique. "I don't know if my parents would want me to go right before they have to pay for my tuition and everything."  
"And I have to go to a three-week training program for my internship," said Ren.  
"Tawny, do you want to go with me?" Ruby asked. "We'll celebrate your becoming a senior. Come on!"  
"I don't know, I might take summer school," said Tawny.  
"Never mind, then," Ruby said.  
"No, Ruby, we want to do something," said Ren. "We could go to San Francisco for a day, maybe."  
Louis slid into the seat next to Ren and smacked his hand down on the table. "Hey there, Ren, what's going on?"  
"Oh, hi, Louis," said Tawny.  
"Yeah, so, uh, Ren, what's this I hear about you being valedictorian?" Louis asked.  
"What?" said Ren.  
"Yeah, Ren, you were appointed valedictorian by Principal Atkins. The list is up near her office, you should check it out."  
"Are you serious?" Ren cried. "What, why?"  
"It's because of your whole internship dealy," Louis replied. "You gotta come up with an inspirational speech. Well, good luck." He got up and jogged away.  
"That was weird," Ren remarked.  
"Wow, so you're valedictorian," said Ruby.  
"Yeah, that's really cool," Monique told her.  
"Wait, okay, how about you girls just have a huge joint graduation party?" Tawny asked. "You know, I mean, invite all your friends and everything."  
"That's a really good idea," said Ruby.  
"Yeah, that would work," Monique agreed.  
"I'm in." Ren smiled. "Okay, I feel so much better. I'm going to go to class early and cram for my quiz. See you girls."  
"Bye!" Ruby waved.  
"That girl is insane," said Monique. "She just can't be satisfied."  
"Give her a break," said Ruby, "she's a really good friend to us."  
"I know, I know," said Monique. "I still love her, but she's crazy."  
"Well, I have to get to class," said Tawny. "I'll see you around."  
  
Louis sat on the curb after the school bell had rung, absentmindedly picking at the grass.  
"Hey, what's up?" Tawny asked, walking by him.  
"Ren left early," said Louis. "She told me to walk home."  
"Wow, that would take like an hour," said Tawny. "Do you want me to drive you?"  
Louis shrugged. "I can walk."  
"Why did Ren leave?" Tawny asked.  
"I don't know," said Louis. "She just left a note on my locker saying she was leaving. Twitty said he'd walk home with me, I'm just waiting for him to get his books."  
"No, Louis, that's ridiculous," said Tawny. "Let me drive you guys home. Please?"  
Twitty came out of the school carrying his books under his arm and greeted Tawny with a high-five. "Hey, Tawny, what's up?"  
"Not much," said Tawny. "I was just trying to convince Louis to let me drive you guys home."  
"Hey, yeah, man," said Twitty, "that would be really great. It's like six miles from here to your house, dude."  
Louis stood up and looked toward the school. "I don't know."  
"It's okay," said Tawny. "Hey, we can go get a burger or something on the way, like we used to do."  
"Yeah, I am starving," said Twitty. "Did you see the cafeteria food today? That was totally disgusting."  
"Yeah, man, it was," said Louis. "But yeah, I don't have any cash."  
"That's cool, dude, it's on me," said Twitty. "Tawny's driving, I'll pay, and later you can give us both massages or something." He thumped Louis' back. "Come on, dude, let's go."  
Louis ordered the most expensive burger on the menu and then took his seat next to Tawny and Twitty. "So how's school going for you guys? I just found out I failed my math midterm, I gotta take it over sometime."  
"I'm sorry," said Tawny. "I'm doing okay, I guess."  
"Yeah, me too," said Twitty. "Me and my parents are trying to decide which school I should go. We have to start applying in like six months, it's crazy."  
"Yeah, I have to do that job shadowing thing this summer and then my dad promised to hook me up with an agent in Hollywood," said Louis.  
"That's cool," said Tawny.  
"Where do you want to go, Tawny?" Twitty asked.  
Tawny sighed. "Geez, I have no idea. My parents want me to be a psychologist. My AP psychology class is killing me this semester, though."  
The cashier called their table number and Louis went to the counter and brought back a tray full of food. He removed his burger and fries and pushed the tray toward Tawny and Twitty's side of the table.  
"I definitely don't want to stay in California, though," said Tawny, nibbling on a French fry. "At least, there's no way I'm going to Southern California. I'll probably try to get in somewhere on the East Coast."  
"I wanna go to Hawaii," Twitty screeched. "They have the best surfing down there."  
Louis and Twitty scarfed down their food and Tawny slowly finished hers. "Well, that was nice," she said, taking a final sip of her water. "We should do this again sometime."  
"Yeah, maybe," said Louis.  
Tawny drove Louis and Twitty home and then did homework for the rest of the afternoon. 


	22. Chapter TwentyOne

Eileen pulled the front door open to find Tawny standing on the porch, her brow knit firmly into her forehead.  
"Tawny!" said Eileen in surprise. "Hi. Um, come on in."  
Tawny stepped inside and wiped her shoes on the welcome mat.  
"Are you here to see Louis?" Eileen asked.  
"No, um, I'm actually here to see Ren," Tawny replied.  
"Oh. Okay. Well, she's up in her room doing homework," said Eileen.  
"Thanks." Tawny climbed the stairs a knocked gently on Ren's door.  
"Come in," said Ren.  
Tawny opened the door and stepped into Ren's room. Ren whirled around from the swivel chair that was planted at her computer desk. "Oh, hi, Tawny."  
Tawny shut Ren's door and stood in front of Ren's bed, her hands folded in front of her chest. "I need to talk to you about something."  
Ren stood up, concerned. "What is it?"  
"Okay, I'm really scared, and I wanted to talk to you because I know you've experienced the same thing." Tawny started, trailing off as she blinked the tears from her eyes.  
Ren placed a hand on Tawny's shaking shoulder. "It's okay."  
"I think I'm pregnant," said Tawny.  
Ren stepped back, her eyes wide. "You and Tom?" she cried.  
Tawny nodded.  
"Oh my God, when did this happen?" Ren asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.  
"After prom," said Tawny. "We weren't thinking . it was really weird. And now my period is like five days late and I don't know."  
"Well do you have any other symptoms?" Ren asked. "Morning sickness or anything? I mean, I was almost a week late when I took a pregnancy test and I definitely wasn't pregnant. Sometimes it just happens."  
"I've been really tired and kind of achy," said Tawny. "But Ren, we didn't, we didn't use any protection."  
"Why?" Ren asked, her mouth agape.  
"It all happened really quickly. And he didn't know I was a virgin, he probably thought I was on birth control or something, I don't know." Tawny buried her head in her hands.  
"Okay, Tawny, we're going to go to the drug store and get a pregnancy test," said Ren, grabbing Tawny's arm supportively. "And when you take it and see that negative come up you're going to feel so much better."  
"I hope so," said Tawny.  
Ren turned off her computer and opened the door to her room. "Come on, let's go."  
"Now?" Tawny asked.  
"Yeah, come on. You're going to worry yourself sick." Ren bounded down the stairs and Tawny followed her. "Mom, Tawny and I are going out for food," Ren called into the kitchen.  
Tawny climbed into the front seat of Ren's car and Ren drove to a pharmacy.  
"Come on," she said, pushing Tawny down the aisles.  
Tawny looked around to make sure no one was near the tests and grabbed a random one. "Okay, let's go."  
Tawny looked at the floor as the cashier checked her out and handed over a twenty dollar bill, scooping the change quickly into her pocket as she and Ren headed back to the parking lot.  
Tawny took a deep breath as Ren pulled back into her driveway and slowly climbed out of the car, clutching the white plastic bag in her hand. She followed Ren inside and to the upstairs bathroom. "Where's Louis?" Tawny whispered as Ren tore the packaging from the test.  
"He should be in his room, but he was napping the last time Mom checked. Okay." Ren unfolded the instructions and read them. "Here you go, just take the test and wait three minutes, then put the test back in the bag and stuff it in the garbage can under the toilet paper rolls."  
Ren waited in her room for Tawny to come out of the bathroom, and when she finally did her face was pale and she was biting her lip. "Okay, I took it."  
Ren patted her on the back. "Good. It'll be okay, Tawny, all right?"  
When three minutes were up Ren and Tawny went back into the bathroom and Ren flicked on the light. "Do you want to look first?"  
"No, I can't," said Tawny, teetering by the door frame.  
Ren picked up the test. "Tawny," she said. She held the test up. It was clearly positive.  
"Oh my God," said Tawny, backing out of the bathroom. "Oh my God." She put her hand on her chest and tried to catch her breath as she stumbled into Ren's room.  
"Tawny, I'm so sorry," said Ren, trying to put her arms around Tawny. "I'm here if you need to talk."  
"No, I have to go," said Tawny, gathering up her purse from the corner of Ren's room.  
"Tawny, let's talk. Please?" Ren begged as Tawny ran down the stairs toward the front door.  
Tawny pulled the door open and shakily withdrew her keys from her purse. Ren stood in the driveway, watching Tawny get into her car. She wanted her to stay, but Tawny seemed pretty upset and Ren didn't want to make the situation worse.  
Tawny started up her engine and backed out of the Stevenses' driveway, pulling onto the main street. She turned on the radio, trying to distract herself, but only one thought raced through her mind. Her eyes blurred with tears and she tried to blink them back, but the hot water rolled down her face in streams.  
As Tawny turned onto the main road she sniffled and glanced out her window. She was only five minutes from home. What would she say to her parents? They would know something was wrong.  
Her eyes were so watery that she didn't see that the car in front of her had stopped. Her car slammed into the back of the other one and Tawny lurched forward as the airbag inflated. Her arm was caught between the airbag and her seat and slammed against her door.  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" was the next thing Tawny heard, accompanied by an incessant banging on her window. "Open the door!"  
Tawny unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out of her car, barely able to walk she was shaking so badly. She recalled a crashing noise at the back of her mind, a noise that seemed to come from inside her own head and drown out anything else she had heard.  
"Dammit, you completely ruined my car!" the man was screaming at Tawny. "You rear-ended me at forty friggin' miles per hour. Are you high or something?"  
Tawny started crying and sat down in the median on the road. A woman who had jumped out of the car in back of Tawny put her arm around Tawny's shoulders. "Do you have car insurance?" she asked.  
Tawny nodded. "The forms should be in my car."  
"You are taking full responsibility for this!" the man cried. "I'm taking you to court if you don't pay for every single inch of damage you did to my car. God, now I'm late for work thanks to you, you little bitch!"  
"Stop yelling at her," said the woman. "Does anyone have a cell phone? We need to call the hospital."  
"The hospital? No one's hurt, lady, except my damn car!"  
Tawny sat in shock, grasping her arm, until somehow her parents arrived. Both of them put their arms around her shoulders and guided her toward their car. Tawny's arm was swollen and she could barely move it. She hadn't stopped crying for an hour. Her mother sat in the back seat with her while her father drove.  
"Tawny, what happened?" Mrs. Dean asked. "How were you just not paying attention on the road?"  
"I don't know," said Tawny, leaning her head against her mother's shoulder. "God, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry."  
Mrs. Dean guided Tawny through the parking lot and into the hospital's emergency room and Mr. Dean left to go back to the accident scene.  
After sitting in the waiting room for an hour Tawny was taken to a smaller room with a neatly made hospital bed by a nurse, who prodded Tawny's arm and asked her if it hurt in certain locations. Tawny flinched.  
"We need to do an X-ray," the nurse told her. "Here, fill out this sheet." She tore off a sheet from her clipboard and placed it in Tawny's lap.  
Tawny picked up the pen with her good hand and filled out her name and address. She paused when she got to a list of "medical history" questions. Are you pregnant?  
"Um," Tawny said quietly to the nurse, "can I not get an X-ray if I might be pregnant?"  
"You might be pregnant," the nurse repeated.  
"Yeah."  
"We'll have to give you a pregnancy test, then," said the nurse. "How far along do you think you are?"  
"A few weeks."  
"All right, if you'd just go into the bathroom we'll collect a urine sample from you," said the nurse.  
"Will my parents find out about this?" Tawny asked.  
"They don't have to," said the nurse, "but they're going to wonder what we're giving you a pregnancy test for."  
"Wait, I don't think my arm's broken, can't I just get some medication for the pain or something and come back if it's still swollen?" Tawny licked her lips, panicked.  
"We'd have to prescribe you some real mild medication if you're pregnant," said the nurse. "If you can deal with the pain on only Tylenol, sure, but your arm could be broken and there's only a limited about of time that we have to reset it if it is."  
"Fine," said Tawny. "I'll just take the test. Just please don't tell my mom."  
Tawny sat nervously on the hospital bed, kicking her legs in front of her, while she waited for the results of the test.  
"It's positive," the nurse told her when she came back into the room. "Would you like to discuss your options?"  
"What do you mean, like should I get an X-ray or not?" Tawny asked.  
"Well, yes, that, but we also are trained to counsel teen parents," the nurse replied.  
"No, it's okay," said Tawny.  
"All right, I'll get a doctor to examine you, just a minute."  
After a doctor came in and felt Tawny's arm he prescribed her some pain medication and Tawny went back into the waiting room with the prescription.  
"Are you all right?" Mrs. Dean asked Tawny, rushing to hug her. "Your father's taking care of the car. Apparently the guy you ran into is a real jerk."  
"No kidding," said Tawny. "Um, Mom, can I talk to you about something?"  
"Sure, honey." Mrs. Dean sat down in one of the chairs and Tawny sat down next to her.  
Suddenly Tawny started shaking and burst into tears, leaning into her mother's arms. "I'm really scared, Mom."  
"I know, Tawny, I know," said Mrs. Dean, running her fingers through Tawny's hair.  
"No." Tawny looked up. "It's not just about the accident, it's why I got into the accident."  
"Okay," said Mrs. Dean.  
"Mom, I'm pregnant," Tawny sobbed.  
"Oh my God," Mrs. Dean gasped. "Tawny, stop it, stop crying." Tawny was sobbing uncontrollably, hardly able to catch her breath. "Oh, Tawny, we can deal with this, okay?"  
"What, you're not mad at me for being so irresponsible?" said Tawny.  
"Whose . whose is it?" Mrs. Dean whispered.  
"What?" Tawny looked up. "Tom's!"  
"Oh, Tawny, your father's going to be so upset."  
"Stop it, Mom!" Tawny wiped her eyes, but more tears just spilled down her face.  
"We'll discuss this later, all right? I can't confront this now." Mrs. Dean stood up. "Let's go get your prescription."  
Tawny placed her hand over her stomach. She really was pregnant. She hadn't even come to terms with it yet, and apparently neither had her mother. But she was. What did that even mean? That she was going to have a baby?  
"What were you thinking, Tawny?" said Mr. Dean when Mrs. Dean had broken the news to him that night. She and Tawny were sitting on the living room sofa and Mr. Dean was pacing across the room. "You just went and got pregnant?"  
"Dad, please don't be disappointed in me," said Tawny. Her face was so raw from tears that it hurt to cry.  
"What are we going to do?" Mr. Dean asked. "You're still in school, you're a young girl."  
"Dad, I know. I'm sorry. I can't do anything about it."  
"Tawny, you need to make a decision," said Mrs. Dean. "We can go to group therapy, whatever you want, but it's your life now."  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Tawny asked. "I don't want to have an abortion."  
"All right," said Mrs. Dean. "Then if you're going to raise a baby I suggest you look for a job or something, honey. And you have to tell the father."  
"Tom! Mom, I know!" Tawny yelled. "Can we please wait a little while? I just found out today that I'm pregnant and wrecked my car and." Tawny swallowed. Her throat was so dry she could barely speak.  
"All right," said Mrs. Dean. "I'm going to schedule a doctor's appointment for you next week and we'll go from there."  
That night as Tawny lay in her bed, trying to go to sleep but knowing it was impossible, she heard her mother's choked cries coming from down the hall. Rising from bed she tiptoed down the hallway and stood outside her parents' door.  
"I don't know how we could have let this happen," Mrs. Dean said tearfully. "She's so smart, so pretty, and she's just gone and." She sniffled.  
"We'll get through this," Mr. Dean said. "Tawny is responsible. I'm sure she just slipped up once. She can handle this."  
"I don't want her to go through it alone," said Mrs. Dean.  
"Then we'll support her. Come on, you're going to wake her up. We have to be strong for her. All right? Good night." 


	23. Chapter TwentyTwo

Ren caught up with Tawny at her locker and stood close to her, guarding her from the traffic in the halls. "How are you doing?" she asked quietly.  
Tawny took a deep breath. "I don't know. My arm still hurts." She tried to laugh.  
"Do you want me to tell Monique and Ruby?" Ren asked. "They're really worried about you. They heard about the accident."  
"No. Don't tell them yet. I have to tell Tom first."  
"So what are you going to do?" Ren reached into Tawny's locker and handed her textbook to her.  
"I don't know," said Tawny. "I don't really want to deal with it right now."  
Ren squeezed Tawny's shoulders. "I'll be here for you if you want to talk, okay?"  
"Thanks."  
"Hey Tawny, I heard about your car accident. I'm sorry."  
Tawny turned around to face Louis. "Hi," she said.  
"You're not hurt, are you?" Louis asked.  
"No, I'm okay," Tawny replied.  
"Well, I should get to class. We only have a month left of school," said Louis. He sighed and tapped his fingers against a locker. "Then I'm off to Texas."  
"I'll see you later," said Tawny. She took a deep breath and went into her next class.  
  
After Tawny had attended her first doctor's appointment and was assured that everything was normal, Mr. and Mrs. Dean insisted she tell Tom, and then after that they all had to sit down and have a discussion together. Tawny had been practically avoiding Tom since they had had their little chat, and he seemed hurt every time he passed her in the hall at school. Her stomach was twisted in knots as she went up to his door and knocked. Tom himself pulled the door open.  
"Tawny," he said, "I'm glad you came."  
"Really?" Tawny asked.  
"Yes. We haven't talked for awhile. Mother wondered what happened to you."  
"Um, Tom, let's go up to your room," Tawny suggested. "I have to tell you something."  
When they got into his room Tom sat down on his bed, his hands in his lap. "Are you going to break up with me?" he asked.  
"No!" said Tawny. "No. But you might want to break up with me after this."  
"I don't think you could tell me anything that would make me want to break up with you," said Tom.  
"Okay, Tom, I'm just going to say it," said Tawny. "I've had a few weeks to deal with this and I've kept it from you and I'm really sorry."  
"What's wrong?" Tom asked.  
Tawny sat next to Tom on his bed and looked straight at his door. "Okay," she said. "Tom, I'm pregnant." She whipped her head around and stared him in the eyes.  
"What?" Tom said slowly. Tawny put her hand on his knee and he closed his eyes and stood up. "Pregnant," he repeated. "As in, you're going to have a baby."  
"Yes," Tawny whispered.  
"Oh. Wow," said Tom. "Is it . I mean ."  
"Prom night," said Tawny. "Tom, look, I understand if you don't want to deal with this, your parents don't have to know."  
"No," Tom said firmly. "I want to be a part of this."  
"You want to be a father?" said Tawny, her eyes welling up with tears.  
"If you want me to be," said Tom.  
"Oh my God, Tom." Tawny flung her arms around Tom's neck. "I've been so afraid of what you were going to say."  
"It's all right." Tom hugged her. "It's okay." He held her at arm's length and looked at her. "Tawny, I don't want you to think of this as a mistake."  
"Okay." Tawny nodded and wiped her eyes. "Okay, I won't."  
"We'll have to tell Mother and Father," said Tom. "As soon as possible. Father's going to be home next weekend."  
"We'll tell him then," said Tawny. She squeezed Tom's hand.  
They sat down on Tom's bed and clung to each other, rocking back and forth for hours, and then both of them fell asleep. Mrs. Gribalski opened Tom's door a crack and saw the two of them snuggling in Tom's bed. She put a quilt over them and smiled.  
When Tawny woke up she rubbed her eyes groggily and shook Tom slightly to wake him up. "Tom," she said, "I have to tell my friends."  
"Now?" Tom asked.  
"I have to tell Louis," said Tawny. "Are you okay with that? It's just, we've always been friends and I want to tell him alone and make sure he knows."  
"Yes, you should," said Tom.  
"He's going to be really upset," said Tawny. "But."  
"He'll want to know."  
"Yeah. I have to go." Tawny leaned into Tom, not wanting to let go of him. "I'll see you later."  
Ren was waiting by the front door of her house for Tawny to come. "Did you tell Tom?" Ren asked.  
"Yeah," said Tawny. "He took it really well."  
"Oh, I'm so glad." Ren pulled Tawny into a hug. "Louis is up in his room."  
"Okay." Tawny took a deep breath. "Wish me luck."  
Tawny tapped on Louis' door and he pulled it open. "Hey," he said.  
Tawny smiled at Louis' crooked grin and messy hair. He looked like he had just gotten up from a nap. "Hey," she said warmly. "We need to talk." She shut the door to Louis' room. "I have something to tell you."  
"I'm all ears," said Louis, sitting back in his desk chair and shoveling a handful of potato chips into his mouth.  
"Okay," said Tawny. She perched on Louis' bed, trying to transition into the conversation as easily as possible. Her hands started shaking and she tried to steady them. "This is really hard," she said, biting her lip.  
Louis grew concerned. He leaned forward and put his hand over Tawny's, then quickly withdrew it. "What is it?"  
"You and I have been friends for over four years," said Tawny. "And no matter what, you've." She let out a sob and tried to catch her breath. "You've always brightened my day, and you've always been there for me. And . when I told you I loved you, I really meant it. I'll always love you, Louis."  
"Me too," said Louis. "I mean, me and you might go through some rough times, but I always know we'll be okay."  
"So I need your help," said Tawny. "Please." She looked up at Louis, her eyes sparkling, pleading with him to understand.  
"Okay," Louis agreed.  
"Louis." Tawny exhaled a wavering breath. "I'm pregnant."  
"No," said Louis.  
"Yes," said Tawny. "Louis."  
"No. I can't believe you'd do something like that." Louis stood up. "It's Tom's, isn't it? It's that bastard Tom's!"  
"Louis, stop," Tawny insisted.  
"No," Louis kept saying. "You went and had sex with Tom after dating him for a few months and you never even God damn made out with me?"  
"You're going to make this harder for both of us," Tawny tried to tell him.  
"Get out," said Louis. "I don't care about you and Tom anymore or whatever the hell you do with him. Get the hell out of my room!" He kicked his chair so hard that it toppled over, and Tawny had to move her feet out of the way to keep it from running into her legs. Louis threw open his door and yelled, "Get out! Leave!"  
"Okay." Tawny started crying again but stood up and walked out of Louis' room into the hallway. "Okay." She looked at Louis one last time before running down the stairs, passing Ren on her way up.  
"Why are you yelling at her?" Ren asked. "What did you say to her?"  
Louis barged past her and into the bathroom, where he knelt on the floor and threw up into the toilet, tears streaming down his face.  
"Louis," said Ren, running after him. "Are you okay?" she asked, more softly.  
Louis couldn't stop crying and choking. He turned his head to look at Ren with hurt in his eyes.  
"Mom." Ren descended the stairs toward the kitchen. "Mom, Louis is really sick, you better come up."  
Eileen appeared in the bathroom a few seconds later and ran her hands through Louis' sweaty hair as he lurched forward and vomited. "Louis, honey, are you all right?" she asked.  
Louis flushed the toilet and leaned back against the bathtub, wiping his mouth with his shirt collar. He put his knees to his chest and cried.  
"Louis, what happened?" Eileen asked. She looked up at Ren. "What has gotten into him?"  
"I think Tawny." Ren started.  
"Shut up!" Louis yelled. "I don't want to talk about it!"  
"Oh, honey, tell me what happened," said Eileen. She put her hand to Louis' forehead concernedly. "Shh, Louis. Ren, get him some water."  
Ren filled a cup with water from the sink and handed it to Eileen, who held it up to Louis. Louis shoved her hand away from him.  
"Louis, you have to tell me what is wrong," said Eileen.  
"No." Louis stood up, fighting his mother's grip around his body. "Let me go!" He broke free of her and ran into his room, slamming the door.  
"Mom," said Ren, "Tawny is pregnant."  
Eileen put her hand over her mouth and gasped. "Oh my goodness, Ren, are you serious?"  
"Yeah." Ren shook her head. "She's been going out with Tom for a few months. It's his baby."  
"What is she going to do?" Eileen asked.  
"I don't know," said Ren. "She just told Tom and I guess he's really supportive."  
"Oh, God, I just can't imagine what Louis is going through," said Eileen.  
"I can't imagine what Tawny is going through," said Ren. "Mom, she just wanted to let Louis know because she cares about him."  
"Well, she just added more stress to his life," said Eileen, and walked out of the bathroom. 


	24. Chapter TwentyThree

Tom and Tawny set the dining room table together and Tawny lit two candles that she had found in the kitchen and set them in the center of the table. "You don't think it's too fancy, do you?" she asked.  
"I don't think they'll be thinking about that," Tom replied.  
"Yeah, that's true."  
The sound of the garage door opening reverberated through the dining room, and Tom rushed to the back door to greet his parents.  
"Hello Mother, Father," he said as they walked through the door. "How was the airport?"  
"Stuffy," Mr. Gribalski replied.  
"Well guess who's here?" Tom asked. "Tawny Dean."  
"Oh, that's sweet. Is Tawny going to join us for dinner?" Mrs. Gribalski wanted to know.  
"She and I prepared dinner," said Tom. "As a surprise."  
"Oh, Thomas, that's so sweet."  
Mr. Gribalski hung his coat in the hallway and retreated upstairs, mumbling something about washing up before he ate.  
"Your father's a little grumpy," Mrs. Gribalski explained. "He said both of his flights had some extremely annoying toddlers."  
"I see," said Tom.  
When they had all settled around the dinner table Tom got up and brought out the large plates of spaghetti and garlic bread he and Tawny had made.  
"This looks delicious, Thomas," said Mrs. Gribalski.  
"Yeah, comfort food." Tawny nodded. "Always a nice thing to eat."  
"Eat up," said Tom.  
Tom and Tawny watched Mr. and Mrs. Gribalski eat as they sat looking at each other, holding hands underneath the table. When they had nearly finished eating, Mrs. Gribalski looked up and said, "You kids have hardly touched your food. You've worked so hard, enjoy."  
"Um, Mrs. Gribalski," said Tawny, "we kind of have an announcement."  
"Let's all retire to the living room," Tom suggested.  
They all arranged themselves on the sofas and then Tom cleared his throat.  
"So?" said Mrs. Gribalski.  
Tom cleared his throat again. "Mother."  
"You know what, Tom, it's okay." Tawny patted Tom's leg. "I've already said this two or three times, I'll just say it again."  
"What is it, kids?" Mr. Gribalski asked.  
"Mother, Tawny and I are in a very dedicated relationship," said Tom. "We care a lot about each other, and."  
Mr. Gribalski held up his hand, interrupting his son. "You kids are what, sixteen, seventeen?"  
"Seventeen," said Tawny.  
"Don't tell me you're thinking about marriage or something already."  
"Ed, let them continue," said Mrs. Gribalski.  
"Okay." Tawny tucked her hair behind her ear. "Mr. and Mrs. Gribalski, about a month ago I found out that I'm pregnant."  
"Oh, honey." Mrs. Gribalski rose from her seat and put her hands on Tawny's cheeks. "Oh, honey."  
"Pregnant?" said Mr. Gribalski. "Are you crazy?"  
"Ed, please." Mrs. Gribalski turned around to scold her husband. "Oh Tawny, honey, we're here to support you, don't worry."  
"Mother, I don't think you understand," said Tom. "The baby is mine."  
"You've gotten a girl knocked up?" Mr. Gribalski cried.  
"Thomas, Tawny, I'm glad you told us," Mrs. Gribalski said. "Have you told your parents yet, sweetie?"  
"Yeah," said Tawny. She let out her breath in relief. She hadn't expected the conversation to be this easy.  
"Well, I guess there's nothing we can do about it now," said Mr. Gribalski. "What do you plan to do anyway?"  
"I don't know," said Tawny. "I can still hardly believe it's true."  
"Well, are you taking care of yourself?" Mrs. Gribalski asked. "You taking vitamins and all that?"  
Tawny nodded.  
"Okay, well you can come to me if you need anything." Mrs. Gribalski rubbed Tawny's shoulder supportively. "When I was a teenager I used to be in a leadership group for peer counseling. I knew a lot of girls like you and I know blaming you is just going to make everything so much harder."  
"Tom, we're gonna have a little talk tonight," said Mr. Gribalski.  
"No, Ed," said Mrs. Gribalski. "I think Thomas has had enough experience to know about responsibility. Can't we just deal with the situation instead of ignoring it?"  
"I think I know my son," said Mr. Gribalski.  
"Ed. We're not talking about this right now." Mrs. Gribalski turned back to face Tawny. "Just remember that Tom and I are here for you."  
"Thanks," said Tawny.  
  
Tawny pulled Louis over in the hall at school and guided him into the empty lunchroom. "Look, Louis, we need to talk," said Tawny. "Again."  
"I don't want to talk to you."  
"But I want to talk," said Tawny. "We have been on again and off again since eighth grade, and when I broke up with you at the beginning of the year I hoped it would end that, but obviously I was wrong."  
"You are pregnant with my friend's baby," said Louis. "How do you think I'm supposed to handle it?"  
"Louis, please. I don't care if you like me or if you hate me, but just decide on one or the other," Tawny pleaded. "I have to take care of myself now and this isn't good for me. So we'll either be friends now or we'll never talk to each other again, all right?"  
"What do you think it's going to be?" Louis asked.  
"I don't know," said Tawny. "I really don't, Louis, but I want to make this decision easy for you. So let me just tell you something. Tom and I are really close. We're like best friends. But you're the only one I've ever told I loved, Louis."  
Louis cast his eyes downward.  
"Louis, I love you. Even if you hate me I'll always love you. Just . it's deeper than friendship. I mean, I hope Tom and I will be friends for a long time, but I know that you and I will be, even if we don't ever see each other."  
"Okay," said Louis.  
"So tell me how you feel," said Tawny.  
"I feel hurt," Louis told her.  
"Why?"  
"Because all we did was kiss and stuff, you know? Nothing intimate like having sex. What, you thought I was too immature for sex or something?"  
"We made a mistake, Louis. Tom and I still aren't mature enough to have sex. I mean, obviously, look where I ended up. I didn't think I was going to have sex for a long time and I'm sure Tom didn't think he was going to have sex until he got married. But it just happened." Tawny sighed. "And you know what, I'm kind of glad it happened because it felt right. I mean, yeah, it was a mistake, but it would have been even a bigger mistake if you and I had had sex, because we weren't in a stage in our relationship to do that."  
"So how come you and Tom were?"  
"I don't know. Maybe the talking and holding hands wasn't enough. It's always been enough for us. We can just hang out and we don't feel tension or anything. Doesn't that say something to you?"  
"I guess."  
"Look, Louis, you're going away over the summer and we only have one year until we both go off to college or wherever you're going to go. Can't we just come to some kind of agreement?"  
"I want to be friends with you." Louis swallowed. "I really do. I just don't know if I can."  
"Relationships aren't easy, Louis," said Tawny. "You have to decide. You don't have to tell me your answer now, but you have to decide. I have to get to class." 


	25. Chapter TwentyFour

Ren perched her graduation cap atop her head and smiled at her reflection in her mirror. In a week she was actually going to be walking across a stage to get her high school diploma. She was going to be standing in front of a few thousand people and giving a farewell address to her class. And just a few weeks after that she would be traveling to UCLA for an orientation and a meeting with the governor.  
Ruby bounced into Ren's room, sporting her own cap and gown. "Doesn't this just make you feel so special?" Ruby asked. "I mean, here we are, on the brink between childhood and adulthood, at the peak of our high school success."  
"You should do the valediction," Ren said, rolling her eyes good- naturedly. "But we have to work in a few minutes, we'd better go."  
"I don't want to go to work," Ruby complained. "I'm tired of working."  
"Ruby, you're the one who was so excited about it at the beginning of the year."  
"Yeah, but I'm tired of a low-wage menial job. I want to have a career."  
"That's what college is for." Ren handed Ruby her jacket and ushered her out of the room. "Come on, let's go."  
Mrs. Mendel put Ren on the registers and had Ruby answer phone calls. Monique walked up and down the floors, cleaning whatever needed to be cleaned.  
"Excuse me, I was recommended a product last week and when I brought it home I discovered it had no effect on my hair. Can I return it?"  
"I'm sorry, ma'am, you can't return something that's already been used unless it's defective."  
"It is defective! It doesn't work."  
"I'm sorry. Let me see if I can get you store credit."  
"I don't want store credit. None of your products will work on my hair. I just want my money back so I can go to a real salon."  
After five hours of dealing with customers with similar complaints and logics, Ren finally closed down her register and went to the back room to get her purse.  
"That was the worst day ever," Ren told Ruby as they walked out the door. "I am so glad I'll only be working here for a few more months."  
"I still have to help out over the holidays," said Ruby.  
"Yeah, but at least you'll get a big break from this." Ren put her arm around Monique's shoulder. "So Monique, are you excited about graduation?"  
"I suppose," said Monique.  
"Hey, what's wrong? You seem down," said Ruby.  
"My mom won't let me have my car in San Diego," said Monique. "She thinks it's too dangerous for me to drive down there."  
"What? That's horrible," said Ruby. "I couldn't live without some kind of transportation in a big city."  
"You know what, on some weekends I can pick you up and we'll go somewhere," Ren offered.  
"It's not the same," said Monique. "But it's okay. I guess I'll just take advantage of my car while I still have it, right?"  
"Yeah," said Ruby, "that's the spirit."  
"I'm going to drive down to Mexico on graduation weekend," said Monique.  
"I thought you said your mom doesn't want you taking your car down there," said Ren.  
"She doesn't have to know about it," Monique replied.  
  
Tom entered Tawny's room with a large stack of books. "Ready to study?" he asked enthusiastically.  
Tawny, who was sitting on her bed, didn't bother to get up. She just shrugged. "I don't know. I don't feel up to it."  
"Well, finals are next week," said Tom. "I hope you're ready."  
"Tom, not now, please," said Tawny. "I really don't feel well."  
"Morning sickness?" Tom asked.  
"Maybe."  
"Well I won't study without you," Tom insisted. He sat beside Tawny and put his arm around her waist. She pushed him away.  
"I'm sorry, Tom," said Tawny. "I really just need to rest."  
"Let me take care of you," said Tom. "I'll play some music for you. I'll create a relaxing environment."  
Tawny smiled. "Okay." She crawled underneath her covers and Tom patted the pillow beneath her head. He went over to her bookshelf and picked out a CD of relaxation music she used to do yoga. He slipped it into her CD player and slow Oriental music filled the room.  
"Do you like foot massages?" Tom asked. "I'm an expert at foot massages." He sat by Tawny and began massaging her foot.  
"That feels good," said Tawny. "Tom, I'm really glad you're my boyfriend."  
"I'm really glad you're my girlfriend."  
Tawny sat up slowly and faced Tom. "Tom, we have to make a decision," she said, "about our baby."  
"Okay," said Tom.  
"Look, I really don't think I can handle a baby. I mean, we're both going to college in a year, hopefully, and it wouldn't be fair to try to raise a kid at the same time. Especially since we're probably going to be on opposite sides of the country."  
"So what do you want to do?" Tom asked.  
Tawny sighed. "I think I want to give it up for adoption."  
"That's a good decision," said Tom, rubbing her back.  
"I know." Tawny's eyes filled with tears. She put her arms around Tom. "It's going to be really hard."  
"But I'll be here," Tom assured her.  
  
"Okay, it's the big day." Eileen adjusted Ren's hair and held her camera in her daughter's face. "Smile big, Ren."  
"Mom, is this really necessary?" Ren asked, flashing her mother a cheesy grin.  
"Yes, it is. You only graduate once!"  
"I'll also graduate from college and graduate school," Ren pointed out.  
"Mom, do I have to go to the stupid ceremony?" Louis asked, grabbing a banana from the kitchen counter and peeling it.  
"Yes, you do," Eileen told him. "Your sister is the valedictorian."  
"But I have to sit through six hundred names being called, and S isn't even toward the end of the alphabet," said Louis.  
"Louis, Ren and Donnie will be coming back for your graduation next year."  
"We will?" Ren and Donnie, who was perched on a kitchen stool making a power shake, said together.  
"Yes, you will," said Eileen. "Oh, Steve, you look so handsome."  
Steve entered the kitchen wearing a silver suit and a new royal purple tie.  
"Wow, Dad, stylin'," Ren remarked.  
"Yeah, looking good," Donnie added.  
"Mom, we need to go to the auditorium, the service starts in forty- five minutes," said Ren. "If we account for traffic we should still be able to get there fifteen minutes early, but you never know."  
"Ren, it's nine in the morning. I don't think there'll be any traffic," said Louis.  
The doorbell rang and Louis ran to the hall to open it. "Maybe that'll be the new laptop I ordered with Dad's credit card."  
"The new what?" Steve yelled from the kitchen.  
Louis opened the door to find Tawny standing on his porch.  
"Hi," she said. "Can I come in?"  
"We were just going to Ren's graduation," said Louis.  
"Yeah, Tom and I are going too, he's leading the National Honor Society vows," said Tawny. "I just wanted to say hi."  
"Hi," said Louis.  
"Do you want to come with Tom and me?" Tawny offered. "It looks like you guys have a full car."  
"No, there are five seats in the car," said Louis.  
"Oh."  
"But I guess I can go with you guys anyways."  
"Cool," said Tawny.  
Louis called to his parents that he would meet them at the ceremony and climbed into the back seat of Tawny's car. Tom turned around from the front passenger seat to smile at him. "Hello, Louis. I'm glad you could join us."  
Louis, Tom, and Tawny sat together during the ceremony. Louis absentmindedly ripped his program into small pieces and tossed it into the hair of the lady who was sitting in front of him.  
After the ceremony Tawny approached Ren, who was standing in the middle of a big group of people with Monique and Ruby. "Hey, Ren," she said.  
"Excuse me a minute," Ren told her friends, and stepped out of the circle.  
"Ren, I probably won't see you much during the summer, but I just wanted to tell you how much you've helped me this year," said Tawny.  
"Oh, thank you." Ren hugged Tawny. "I'm really glad we got to know each other better."  
"Me, too," said Tawny. "I don't think I could have gotten through the year without you."  
"Oh, Tawny," said Ren. "You can call me any time you want, all right? Let me know how everything is going. You can get my number from Louis."  
"Thanks," said Tawny.  
"How are you and Louis doing anyway?" Ren asked.  
"We're okay, I think," said Tawny. "I think we'll make it."  
"That's really good to hear," said Ren before Ruby grabbed her and pulled her back into the group of people. 


	26. Chapter TwentyFive

"Southern California is amazing," Monique told Ren over the phone when she had gotten back from her weekend trip. "You're going to love it."  
"Really?" Ren asked. "Are you sure?"  
"Yes. It's so beautiful, Ren."  
"That makes me feel better," said Ren. "I guess."  
"There's so much to do. I stopped for a day in LA and I walked through Westwood and it is so dreamy," said Monique.  
"I guess I'll see for myself when I go to my orientation next week," said Ren. "But I'm really nervous to meet my roommate and, well, Arnold Schwarzenegger and everything, you know."  
"Don't worry, you'll do great," Monique assured her. "There are so many possibilities out there. You have to embrace them."  
  
Louis shoved his yearbook into Tawny's hands. "Sign it," he commanded.  
"Okay, whatever you say, sir," said Tawny. "I think Twitty has mine when you want it."  
It was the last day of school for underclassmen, and lunch period had become a systematic passing-around of yearbooks.  
Tawny opened Louis' yearbook, which was littered with just a few signatures on sporadic pages, and poised her pen above a blank page. She sighed and began to write.  
The lunch bell rang and Tawny closed the yearbook and put it back into Louis' hands. "Well, we don't have any class together for the rest of the day, so." She held her arms out and he hugged her. After Louis was done Twitty gave Tawny a gigantic bear hug.  
"I'm really gonna miss you guys over the summer," said Twitty.  
"Me, too," said Louis.  
"Hey, we'll probably see each other a few more times before we all go our own separate ways," Tawny told them. "Well, I'm staying here, but you guys."  
"We'll keep in touch," Twitty assured her.  
Louis walked out of the lunchroom and into his next class. He opened his yearbook to the page Tawny had signed. She had only written one sentence: Call me. Peace, Tawny Dean.  
As Louis walked out to the parking lot he flipped his phone out of his pocket and dialed Tawny's cell phone number. Tawny picked up.  
"Hey, it's Louis," said Louis. "You told me to call you."  
"Wow, are you home already?" Tawny asked.  
"No, I'm in the parking lot, waiting for my mom."  
"Oh. Well, I would offer to drive you home but I'm already halfway there, so."  
"It's okay," said Louis. "So what did you want to tell me?"  
"Look, Louis, I don't want to get into an accident again. I have to hang up. Call me when you get back home."  
Half an hour later Louis bolted through the door and dived for the phone in the kitchen.  
"Hey!" said Ren. "I was about to call my roommate."  
"Use your own phone," said Louis.  
"But I gave her my home phone, and what if she has caller ID and won't answer calls coming from my line?"  
"You think too much," said Louis, and picked up the phone and dialed Tawny's number on the way to his room. "Okay, the suspense is killing me," he said once he had locked his door.  
"Well, I hope I don't disappoint you, because I didn't mean to put you in suspense," said Tawny. "I just couldn't bring myself to write anything in your yearbook. Our friendship means more than just some paragraph."  
"You could have used the whole page. Did you see how many people had signed it before you?"  
"Ha ha, Louis. Look, I have an appointment in a few minutes so I'm just going to tell you what all the other people who signed your yearbook did and say have a great summer. I'll call you later. Bye." Tawny hung up.  
A few seconds later Louis' phone beeped in a text message. Louis picked up the phone.  
Check your e-mail in a few hours.  
Louis sighed and went back downstairs to make himself a sandwich. 


	27. Chapter TwentySix

"So you're interested in placing your baby up for adoption," said Emily Pratt, the lawyer who was handling the Deans' case. "That's very admirable."  
"Well, I just think it's the right choice," said Tawny. "I'd kind of like to have an open adoption, you know, so I could kind of be a part of my child's life."  
"Well, there isn't really legally any such thing as an open adoption," Emily told her. "You're going to have to give up all your parental rights. But we can try to find a family who is willing to keep in contact with you after the birth."  
"Are you sure you want to do this, Tawny?" Mrs. Dean asked.  
"Mom, I have to," said Tawny. "I can't make you or someone else raise the baby for me while I go to school or hang out with my friends."  
"We already have several prospective parents, as you can imagine," Emily continued. "Our next step would be you filling out all the paperwork, and after that we would invite you and the potential parents of your child to get together. We usually wait until your second trimester to do so, though."  
"Okay," said Tawny.  
"And we do recommend some counseling for birth parents," said Emily. "There's a higher instance of post-partum depression after a birth mother has signed away her parental rights."  
"Oh, my parents are psychologists," said Tawny, "so I think we can handle it."  
"We'll get her to a good counselor," said Mr. Dean.  
"If there isn't anything else you need to know, you may go now," said Emily. "I do have a tape for you of adoption success stories if you'd like to see it. It also guides you through the process of adoption." She handed Tawny a tape. "Watch it and see what you think. And remember, nothing is final until you've signed the papers."  
"That was weird," said Tawny when she and her parents got to the parking lot. "I don't think I'm ready for any of this."  
"Well you still have seven months, sweetie," said Mrs. Dean. "We'll take this slowly."  
At home Tawny made herself a cup of tea and settled herself in front of her computer, where she began to type.  
  
Ren and Eileen waved good-bye to Louis and Steve as they boarded the plane bound for Los Angeles. "Louis, behave yourself. We'll be back in a few days," Eileen told Louis, leaning over to kiss him.  
"I'll be packing for Texas all day anyway," said Louis. "I think I'll be kept busy."  
"Bye, Daddy, I'll see you later," said Ren. "Bye, Louis."  
"See you, honey."  
Ren squeezed down the narrow aisles of the plane and found her seat. Eileen had the seat next to hers. She let out a breath of air as she sat down. "Well, here we go," said Eileen. "Aren't you excited to see your dorm and meet your roommate, honey?"  
"I guess so," said Ren.  
"You packed that suit I laid out on your bed, right?" Eileen asked.  
"Yeah, Mom, I did."  
"I don't want to have to buy you a new one for meeting Governor Schwarzenegger."  
"Mom! It's okay."  
The girl sitting next to Ren tapped her arm. Ren turned to look at her.  
"I heard you talking about Governor Schwarzenegger?" the girl asked.  
"Yeah, I got this internship with him," Ren explained.  
"Yeah, me too," said the girl. "I think there are about five of us. You're stationed at UCLA, right?"  
"Yeah." Ren smiled.  
"Well, nice to meet you. I'm Meghan Ibsen." Meghan extended her hand.  
"No way!" said Ren. "We talked on the phone. I'm Ren Stevens, your roommate."  
"Oh, cool! That's right, you're from Sacramento," said Meghan. "Yeah, my dad's on business here so I left from this airport instead of San Francisco."  
"It's really nice to meet you," Ren told her. "I was worried that my roommate would be some kind of freak or something."  
"Ren, honey," said Eileen.  
"I'm kind of a neat freak," Meghan admitted.  
"Me too!" said Ren.  
"Well, I hear our rooms are really nice so we definitely don't have to worry about space organization."  
"That's good. Have you ever been to LA?" Ren asked her.  
"Yeah, plenty of times. I used to stay with my aunt during the summer," said Meghan. "I really love it down there."  
"My friend told me it was nice."  
"It is. It's a lot different from Northern California."  
Ren barely noticed that an hour had passed and the plane touched the ground and skidded across the runway. Eileen practically had to pull Ren and Meghan apart. "Don't worry, girls, you'll see each other again once we've checked into our hotel room."  
There was a dinner that night for parents and students who were new to UCLA, and all five interns were pulled into a separate room for a brief meeting afterwards.  
"I'm afraid I have some bad news," said the man who was conducting the meeting, Mr. Cortez. "Due to security breeches we can only have three interns this year. The rest of you will not be able to intern for Governor Schwarzenegger, but we will follow through with our scholarships for you."  
Ren looked at Eileen and narrowed her eyes.  
"The two of you who are being cut were done so not based on your merit, but based on the time your application was received," Mr. Cortez went on. "Ren Stevens and Gary Bade, I'm afraid you two won't be able to intern this year."  
"What!" Ren cried. "I sent that application in way before it was due!"  
"I'm sorry, it's out of our hands," said Mr. Cortez. "We deeply regret the situation."  
"Sir, is there any way we can withdraw our admission from the university?" Gary asked. He was sitting in the corner of the room, his red hair tousseled and his glasses crooked.  
"I'm sorry, your contracts are binding based on your scholarships," said Mr. Cortez. "You are required to be enrolled in the university was one year if you want to keep them."  
"Mom, this is ridiculous. I don't care about the scholarship, I'm going to Yale," said Ren.  
"Ren, honey, don't be so irrational," said Eileen as they walked out of the meeting.  
"Hey." Meghan tapped Ren on the back. "I'm really sorry."  
"It's okay," Ren told her through clenched teeth.  
"Ren, you still have a full scholarship here and you've already made friends with Meghan," said Eileen. "Besides, it's too late to be accepted to Yale this semester. Why don't you wait until December and we'll see."  
"This whole thing is so screwed up!" Ren cried. "I should have just not accepted this stupid scholarship. Look where it got me."  
"Shh," said Eileen. "Honey, don't make a scene. We'll discuss this later."  
  
Louis sat down in front of his computer and clicked onto the Internet. He glanced over at his phone, which was lying open on his desk under a pile of papers, and opened his e-mail. There was an e-mail from Tawny's screen name. Louis quickly clicked on the link and read it.  
Louis,  
Here's my "yearbook message" to you. I think yearbook messages are so stupid. I mean, what's the point? I just hope you don't only remember me through your yearbook. Actually, I hope you'll never have to "remember" me at all. We'll see each other all next year, and then we'll see each other on breaks during the school year when we're in college, and maybe we'll even see each other a lot after we graduate and both have jobs.  
So even though I'll probably talk to you twenty times during the summer, I hope you have a good one. I hope you like Texas and working on cars, and I also hope that you never have to work on cars again because you'll get a job as a stand-up comedian instead. I hope you'll invite me to your first show, maybe even free of admission, and I hope I'll be the first one you hug after you get off stage. But let's not think about the future right now, okay? We're both still kids, and even though a lot has changed we're still in high school and we don't need to take life so seriously. If I've learned anything through the year it's been that.  
I know I've said this already, but I love you.  
Tawny. 


	28. Chapter TwentySeven

Louis was just finishing stuffing more clothes into a large duffel bag when he heard the car pull into the driveway. He bounded down the stairs and saw Ren and his parents getting out of the car. Steve lifted Ren's suitcase out of the trunk and hauled it toward the front door.  
"Can I do anything to help?" Louis asked when he had gotten outside.  
"Here, take this." Ren draped a huge backpack over Louis' shoulder.  
"So I heard the news," said Louis as he walked side by side with Ren toward the house. "I'm sorry."  
"It's okay, I'll deal," Ren assured him.  
"Are you all packed, sweetie?" Eileen asked.  
"Yeah, just finished," said Louis. "I've got my toothbrush, hairbrush, clothes, some pajamas, some socks, underwear . I think I'm good."  
The next morning Steve, Ren, and Eileen took Louis to the airport and saw him off.  
"I feel like I've been spending my whole summer here," Eileen remarked. "Both of my babies are going away."  
"Louis will be back in a few months, Mom," said Ren.  
"Oh, but you won't. You'll be six hours away by car," said Eileen.  
"Better than five hours away by plane if I had gone to Yale though, right?"  
"Honey, you'll get there," said Eileen. "We're trying to think positive, remember?"  
"I guess," said Ren.  
  
Lori and Paul Jenkins, age twenty-eight and thirty-two. She had blond hair and blue eyes, he had sandy brown hair and brown eyes.  
"My kid is going to look nothing like you," Tawny said as soon as she saw them.  
Lori laughed. "Well that's okay, sweetie."  
Mr. and Mrs. Dean and Tawny were sitting on a large couch in Emily's office, and Lori, Paul, and Emily were sitting on another couch across from them. Lori and Paul were embracing each other's hands and looking at the Deans hopefully. They were going to raise Tawny's child. Tawny didn't know how - if they'd have strict bedtimes, not allow the child to have sugar or watch TV, what they'd choose as a nursery theme - but he or she would be born on December 21st. The doctors had decided this date to induce her a few weeks before her due date as a way to allow Tawny to recuperate before she went back to school for her second semester. She wasn't planning on taking any time off after giving birth. Her new counselor had agreed that this would probably be best in order for her to get her mind off everything. But she would be spending Christmas without a baby, and this couple sitting across from her that she'd just met would be spending their first Christmas with one.  
"Tawny, take it away," said Emily. "You're the birth mother. You can ask Lori and Paul anything you want."  
"Okay," said Tawny.  
"Why don't you ask them what their method of discipline will be," Mrs. Dean suggested.  
"Mom," said Tawny. "Okay, um, Lori, how long will your maternity leave be?"  
"I'm going to be a stay-at-home mom," said Lori. "I quit work a few months after Paul and I got married."  
"How long have you been married?" Emily prompted. Tawny rolled her eyes. Emily probably already knew the answer, she was just trying to make Tawny feel better about her biological child's future parents.  
"Four years," Lori and Paul replied together.  
"Cute," said Tawny. "Cloth or disposable diapers?"  
"I'm going to try cloth," said Lori, "but we don't know if it will work out."  
"Are you going to use pacifiers?"  
"Maybe."  
"Will you co-sleep or use a bassinet?"  
"Bassinet," said Lori. "Of course, if the baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night we might invite her into our bed. We'll see."  
"Her?" Tawny asked.  
"I don't want to call it just 'the baby,'" said Lori. "But I'm sorry. I didn't really mean 'her.'"  
"So are you hoping for a girl?" Tawny asked.  
"Tawny," Emily said gently, "you might want to slow down on the questions."  
"We're just hoping for a healthy baby," Paul told her.  
"Are you going to use a sling?" Tawny asked.  
"We might," said Lori.  
"Tawny, honey, do you mind if I ask a question?" said Mrs. Dean.  
"No, I think that's it. Go ahead," said Tawny.  
"Have you started a college fund?" Mrs. Dean asked.  
"We're putting two hundred dollars a month into investments," said Lori. "We have been since shortly after our marriage, though. Right around my first miscarriage."  
"Oh," said Tawny. "I'm sorry."  
"No, it's all right," said Lori. She smiled. "We're just thankful to be getting a baby now. And I'm glad that you're concerned."  
"So can you, like, write letters to me?" Tawny asked. "Show me how the baby . your baby . grows?"  
"Of course," said Lori. "We'll keep in contact."  
"I think that's about all, Tawn," said Mr. Dean. "It was a pleasure meeting you two." He shook Paul's hand and patted Lori's. "I'm sorry we have to get going."  
"You can call us any time," Lori assured them. She stroked Tawny's cheek. "You're so pretty. I'm so glad we got to talk with you."  
Tawny put her hand to her cheek and tried to smile.  
  
On the first day of their senior year at HESHS Tawny's eyes lit up as she spotted Twitty roaming the halls. She ran over to him and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh my God, Twitty, I'm so glad to see you!"  
"Tawny!" Twitty cried.  
Tawny stepped back from Twitty and looked at him. His hair had grown out and was now almost touching his shoulders, and his skin was darker than she had ever seen it before. He was wearing a muscle shirt and definitely had muscles to prove it.  
"I see you've been surfing all summer," said Tawny.  
"Yeah, it's been great." Twitty ran his hands through his hair. "Hey look, there's Louis."  
Louis came up behind Tawny and tried to put his arms around her waist. "Wow, you've changed," he said.  
Tawny laughed and put her hand on her growing stomach. "Yeah, it's so weird. Sometime in July I just suddenly popped. I'm not used to it at all."  
"So how was your summer?" Twitty asked her.  
"Well, for the first month I spent an hour in bed every morning drinking ginger ale and eating saltines, and then I got up and took a shower and went back to bed," said Tawny. "But then when I felt better I started doing yoga."  
"Did you see Tom at all?" Louis asked.  
"Um, no, he and his mom decided to take their yacht across the Pacific and stay on some island or something," said Tawny. "His dad was at some medical clinic in Fiji or something."  
"We gotta go find him, dude," said Twitty. "He's totally going to want to see you, Tawny."  
"I know," said Tawny. "I really missed him." She hugged Louis. "I missed you." She turned to Twitty. "I missed you so much, too."  
Suddenly Monique ran up to the group and stared at Tawny. "Girl, you're so big!" she squealed, hugging Tawny around her neck.  
"Monique, what are you doing here?" Tawny asked.  
"I just thought I'd come back and see how all the high schoolers were doing before I headed to SD," said Monique. "So how are you all doing?"  
"We're seniors. It's pretty cool," said Louis.  
"Yeah, definitely," said Tawny.  
The bell rang and Tawny gave Monique, Twitty, and Louis quick hugs before heading to class. "I'm sorry I have to go right now, but my class is all the way across the building. See you guys later!"  
As Tawny walked into her first class one of the boys remarked, "Whoa, Tawny Dean got fat over the summer!"  
Tawny ignored him and walked to her desk.  
"Hey, shut up," she heard from the back of the room.  
Tawny whirled around to see Tom approaching the front of the classroom. "Tom, you're in this class?" Tawny asked.  
"Yeah," said Tom. He knelt down in front of Tawny's desk and kissed her. "You look gorgeous, madam." A few boys cheered and whistled.  
"I'm so glad to see you," said Tawny. "I have so much to tell you."  
"Likewise," said Tom. "My parents are getting divorced."  
Tawny gasped and put her mouth over her hand. "No! Are you serious?"  
"Yes. Mother decided it wasn't worth it to be with Father anymore. If I get into MIT she's moving to Massachusetts with me."  
"Wow, Tom, that's so . wow," said Tawny. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "We found some adoptive parents."  
"That's good," said Tom. "Are they nice?"  
"Yeah, they really are," said Tawny.  
Tom squeezed Tawny's hand. "I'm so glad to see you doing well."  
"Yeah, I'm glad to see you," said Tawny. "I'm going to really try to make this school year good."  
"It will be," said Tom. "I'll make sure of it." 


	29. Chapter TwentyEight

Ren plugged her laptop's Ethernet cord into the wall jack and clapped her hands excitedly when her computer registered that it was hooked up to the Internet. She opened the large cardboard box that contained her books and began putting them into her small wooden bookshelf.  
"Oh my gosh, are those all your textbooks?" Meghan, who was eating ice cream and watching the newly set-up TV, asked.  
"No, none of them are. They're just my favorite books," Ren told her.  
"You're crazy," said Meghan. "You don't read in college."  
"Why not?" Ren dusted her hands off.  
"Because you'll never have time," said Meghan. "Well, you might have more time than I do since I'll be interning on weekends, but still, with all the homework and everything."  
"I'll make time," said Ren. "I'm very efficient."  
"Whatever," said Meghan. "Hey, do you have a car down here?"  
"No," Ren told her. "My parents don't want me to have one until next year. They're giving my car to my little brother if he gets good grades."  
"Oh, because I was thinking we could go shopping for some stuff for the room this weekend," Meghan suggested.  
"That would be fun," said Ren. "We could just walk, probably."  
"And carry all that stuff back?"  
"We'll take a few trips. We still have a few days until school starts." Ren adjusted the position of the TV on top of her book case. "I'm going to the dining hall to get something to eat, want to come?"  
"It's okay," said Meghan. "I want to watch MTV."  
"Fine. I'll be back in awhile."  
When Ren entered the room she had to step over the clothes Meghan had thrown all over the floor in twenty minutes. Meghan was digging frantically through her near-empty suitcase, pulling out single socks and hair clips. "Okay, half my clothes just disappeared," Meghan whined.  
"Maybe if you hang all your clothes up in your closet you'll be able to sort through them more easily," said Ren.  
"It's okay, this method works," said Meghan.  
A knock sounded at the door and Ren opened it to find two blond girls standing in the doorway.  
"Hi! I'm Ashley. This is my roommate Erica. We share a bathroom with you two," said one of the girls. "Is Meghan here?"  
"Yeah," said Ren.  
"Meghan!" Ashley screeched as she rushed inside the room to embrace Meghan.  
"Do you two know each other?" Ren asked.  
"We met over the summer at orientation," Meghan explained. "We're both doing the internship."  
"Oh, that's right," said Ren.  
"Hey, you guys, we should all go shopping this weekend," Meghan proposed. "Erica, you have a car, right?"  
"Yep!" said Erica.  
"That would be great." said Ren.  
Ashley grabbed Meghan by the wrist and all three girls walked through the bathroom into Ashley and Erica's room.  
Ren sighed and began folding some of her winter clothes into her dresser drawer.  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Dean were standing with their hands folded behind their backs, smiling fakely, as Tawny walked into the kitchen. A pile of brochures and papers were spread out on the table.  
"Wow, what's this, some kind of recycling party?" Tawny asked.  
"Tawny, it's September," said Mrs. Dean. "Haven't you even thought about applying to colleges yet?"  
"Not really," Tawny admitted. "Of course, it's been kind of hard to think about anything lately."  
"We just thought we'd give you some options," said Mr. Dean. "Your mother and I sent away for some applications for you. Some of them are on the East coast."  
"Well, thanks," said Tawny. "I'll look at them."  
"Honey, sit down," said Mrs. Dean, pulling out a chair for herself. Tawny sat down and folded her hands on the table patiently. "Do you even plan to go to college after you graduate, honey?"  
"Yeah, I guess," said Tawny.  
"You're an ambitious girl. Frankly, your mother and I are surprised you haven't thought about continuing your education," Mr. Dean told her.  
"I guess I just always assumed I would go to college, I never really thought about applying or anything," said Tawny.  
"Aren't your friends applying?" Mrs. Dean asked. "Tom, especially."  
"Yeah, I guess."  
Mr. Dean sighed. "Okay, Tawny, just look at the brochures. This weekend we'll sit down together and fill out some of the applications."  
"Cool." Tawny scooped up the brochures and went up to her room.  
  
"Hey, Meghan, could you please, like, pick up your clothes off the floor?" Ren asked as she stepped over a pile of shirts and made her way over to her bed.  
"Yeah, I'll try, if I ever get any free time," said Meghan. She had a textbook halfheartedly draped across her lap as she leaned back in her chair to watch TV.  
"Sorry. I thought you said you were a neat person," said Ren.  
"I am," said Meghan. "I mean, at home. You have to let go of your inhibitions at college, you know?"  
"Sure," said Ren. "Just make sure we don't get invaded by ants and spiders because I've seen that happen at dorms before and it is not pretty."  
"Don't worry about it," said Meghan. "We have sprays to prevent that kind of thing."  
"Okay," said Ren. She opened her laptop and began transcribing the notes she had taken in class.  
"Hey, could you please try to be quieter with your keyboard? I'm kind of trying to study," said Meghan.  
"Fine." Ren reached over and turned the volume of the TV down and then returned to her keyboard.  
"Hey, the TV noise helps me study," Meghan protested.  
"Whatever." Ren unplugged her laptop and sat in the hall with it on her lap, typing.  
Ashley walked by the door and looked down at Ren. "Hey, is Meghan in there?" she asked.  
"Yes," said Ren.  
"Yeah, we were just about to go get lunch," said Ashley. She stepped over Ren and went into the room, where both she and Meghan squealed and hugged each other.  
"Hey, how long are you going to be out?" Ren asked them as they left the room.  
"I don't know," said Meghan. "But hey, could you leave the TV on? I'm recording something and if you turn the volume down it kind of ruins the quality of the tape."  
Ren stood up and went back into her room. She turned the volume down all the way on the TV and sat at her desk to type out the rest of her notes.  
Ashley and Meghan danced into the room a few minutes later, giggling.  
"Okay, Ash, you have to see this program I recorded," said Meghan. "It is so funny, it's like . hey Ren, you didn't screw with the TV, did you?"  
"No," said Ren.  
The phone rang and Meghan picked it up. "Hey, this is Meghan's room!" She paused and held the phone slightly away from her ear. "Oh yeah, here she is." Meghan tossed the phone into Ren's lap. "It's for you."  
Ren picked up the phone and rose from her seat to go out into the hallway. "Hello?"  
"Ren! How's sunny Southern California?" Eileen asked.  
"Not good," Ren told her.  
"Oh, honey, what's wrong?"  
"My roommate is a total flake," said Ren. "She has clothes all over the room, she never studies, and she has no consideration for me."  
"You two seemed to get along so well at orientation," said Eileen.  
"Yeah, well, things change." Ren lowered her voice. "And she takes every chance she possibly can to brag about her internship. Mom, I really don't want to be here."  
"Oh, Ren, remember what we said about giving it a chance for one semester?" Eileen reminded her.  
"I know, Mom, but this is really bad."  
"How are your classes?"  
"Okay, I guess. Not very challenging," said Ren. "Of course, coming from HESHS what could I expect."  
"Why don't you see about switching rooms, then?" said Eileen. "Maybe you'd be happier if you had a different roommate, one who was a bit tidier."  
"I don't know. Everyone here seems like a valley girl. I knew I shouldn't have come here," said Ren.  
"Well, we're not going to talk negatively now," said Eileen.  
"So how are you doing?" Ren asked.  
"Excuse me." Meghan and Ashley squeezed out of the room and slammed the door behind them.  
"Wait..." Ren said, realizing she didn't have her room key. "Ugh," she groaned.  
"What is it?" Eileen asked.  
"I'm locked out of my room. I'll have to see if Erica's in her room so she can let me in through the bathroom," said Ren. "I have no idea when Meghan's coming back, she always just leaves without even telling me."  
"I'm sorry, honey," said Eileen, "but look on the bright side. In a few months you'll be coming home for Thanksgiving."  
"Yeah, that's really a comfort." Ren rolled her eyes. "Okay, I have to go. I have a ton of homework to do. Talk to you later, Mom."  
"I love you, Ren."  
Ren clicked the phone off and knocked on the door to Erica and Ashley's room. "Erica?" she called. There was no response.  
Ren sighed and sat outside her door, waiting for Meghan and Ashley to come back.  
Two hours later Meghan finally bounced back up to the door. "Hey, what are you doing?" she asked Ren as Ren jerked her hand out of the way of Meghan's heel.  
"I didn't have my key," Ren told her, trying not to yell.  
"Oh," said Meghan. She opened the door and practically slammed it in Ren's face. Ren had to jump up and push the door the rest of the way open.  
As soon as she got back in her room Ren sat down at her computer and composed an e-mail to her mother.  
Fifty really annoying things Meghan has done already:  
Asked me not to type because she was watching TV  
Locked me out of my own room  
Stole half the granola bars I bought and put on MY side of the room  
Used my bed to pass out after she came in hungover  
Spilled coffee on a pair of my pants that she borrowed without permission  
Talked about me behind my back in the other room with Ashley and Erica  
Smoked tons of cigarettes right outside the door so I have to walk through the smoke when I'm trying to go to class  
Refused to clean her side of the room  
Refused to clean the bathroom  
Borrowed one of my textbooks and dog-eared all the pages  
Taken tons of pictures of her with Arnold Schwarzenegger and hung them on the wall  
Told me none of my outfits matched  
Accused me of being anorexic when she doesn't eat at all (she only drinks)  
Told me I'll never have fun because I don't party every week  
Locked herself in the bathroom for the entire night to cry to her boyfriend on the phone  
Knocked over the trash that contained all her used makeup remover pads and refused to clean it up  
Turned the light on in the middle of the night and never turned it off  
Used my meal card to buy tons of food for herself because she'd "forgotten her own"  
Refused to buy me a meal when I actually did forget my meal card  
Taped a huge posted of an ugly, sweaty naked guy to the wall over my bed  
Raided my closet and my desk several times for no reason  
Asked to use my computer and left grease all over the keyboard  
Rented a vacuum and never vacuumed, then made me pay for the charge of renting it for too long  
Stolen most of my pens, so I have to keep replacing them  
Taken two hours using my scanner and printer so she could copy her textbooks and then return them for cash  
Thrown her laundry into mine so I have to do hers for her  
Used my phone code that I have taped to my wall to make long-distance calls, thus charging me for her calls  
After I took the number off my wall and asked her not to use it again she still used it because she had it memorized  
Refused to pay the phone bill because it was in my name  
Told me I need to get a haircut (about fifteen times)  
Told me I have big feet  
Told me she's heard me singing in the shower and I should take lessons (I DON'T sing in the shower!)  
Asked me several questions about my boyfriend situation  
Brought her boyfriends (three of them) into our room and bragged about them  
Complained to me every time she has a tiny little problem and whined for me to solve it  
Made me buy toilet paper because she used our limit to TP some rival sorority house  
Refused to let me go shopping with her, even when I ask nicely  
Set her alarm and then let it ring for over an hour  
Skipped classes almost every single week and then complained about how much homework she has  
Made me go with her to the health clinic to get condoms  
Asked me to write two papers for her (I didn't)  
Asked if she could copy some of my notes but never let me copy hers (not that she has any)  
Switched out of three of her classes just because she thinks the professors are ugly or nerdy  
Complained about me using the shower too long  
Lit candles several times, which is against the rules, resulting in our room getting a warning from the RA  
Tried to sneak beer into our refrigerator (I put my foot down)  
Stuck post-it notes about calls I got all over my computer screen, which made smears on the screen  
Made me make her bed for her because she doesn't know how  
Made me go to the library and check out research books for her because she doesn't know how to use the computer system  
Bought two fish and managed to kill them both within a few days I just sent in my electronic application to Yale.  
  
Ren clicked "send" and sighed satisfactorily, rubbing her hands together. In just a few months she would be getting another acceptance letter, and then she could get out of here and move three thousand miles away. 


	30. Chapter TwentyNine

"Tom, it's Tawny," Tawny said over the phone. "We're going to the hospital in a few minutes. Are you coming?"  
"Of course. I'm taking Mother's car," said Tom. "Do you know how long we should be there?"  
"Up to two days," Tawny told him bluntly. "I'm having a kid, not getting a physical." She sighed. "Sorry. I just feel really fat and I've been snapping at people lately."  
"So I've noticed," said Tom.  
"Well, this is it," said Tawny.  
Tawny didn't know whether or not to be excited as her father and mother drove her to the hospital. She was eighteen years old. How could she be having a baby? But at the same time, over the past several months she had felt the life inside of her and almost bonded with it. She had spoken to Lori and Paul a few times, and they did seem like nice people, but she tried to put the thought of giving her child to someone else out of her head. She loved the life inside her, in a weird way. It was a deeper kind of love than she felt for Tom and Louis. It was a love she didn't have to get used to or work for, it was just there.  
Tawny sat in her hospital bed in a hospital gown, her mother holding her hand. A drug was dripping through her veins through an IV, something called Pitocin to make her go into labor. Tom and Mrs. Gribalski burst through the door to her room and Mrs. Gribalski ran to hug Mrs. Dean while Tom stood at Tawny's bed side.  
"I hope I don't look scary," said Tawny.  
"Of course not," Tom told her.  
Lori and Paul had been waiting in the hall. They had decided against witnessing the birth with Emily because apparently too many adoptive mothers decide at the last minute to keep their babies, and Lori and Paul didn't want to get too attached to their child if he or she ended up not going home with them.  
A doctor came in and checked Tawny's progress every half hour. Mr. and Mrs. Dean and Mrs. Gribalski went to the cafeteria and Tom stood by Tawny's bed.  
"This is so weird," Tawny remarked. "I never thought I'd be doing this so soon."  
"I know," said Tom.  
"God, I think I'm going to miss this kid when it's born."  
"Oh."  
"It's like, you have to love it no matter what," said Tawny. "How can Lori and Paul love it as much as I do?"  
"I don't know," Tom told her. "But they'll be good parents."  
"Yeah, I hope so."  
"I brought you a present," said Tom. He reached into the bag he was carrying over his shoulder and handed Tawny a book. "To occupy your time."  
"Aw, thanks, Tom," said Tawny. "I wish I could hug you but I can't roll over that way."  
Tom smiled and leaned over and kissed Tawny.  
"Well, I think we're ready to take you to labor and delivery," Dr. Kohen announced.  
"Oh God," said Tawny, "already?"  
"Yep. You're fully progressed." The friendly lady smiled at Tawny. "Would you like anyone present in the room while you're giving birth?"  
"My mom," said Tawny.  
"That's fine."  
As Dr. Kohen helped Tawny into a wheelchair Tawny gave Tom a nervous smile.  
"You'll do fine," said Tom. "I'll be waiting for you when you get out."  
"Thanks," said Tawny.  
  
"Just give me one more big push."  
"Oh my God. I've seen this on TV and I always thought they overexaggerated it," Tawny gasped.  
"Don't try to talk, sweetie, push." Mrs. Dean squeezed Tawny's hand.  
"Give me . a C-section." Tawny panted.  
"You're a strong girl, now give me a push. Just one more," said Mr. Kohen.  
Tawny dug her nails into her mother's hand and pushed.  
"Okay, the baby's crowning, push again."  
Tawny leaned forward and clenched her teeth.  
"Push! Honey, you're just straining your neck, come on, use your abdominal muscles!"  
"I don't have any left," Tawny tried to say, but it came out as a groan.  
"Good. Okay. Just one more, I promise."  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tawny screamed in frustration and fell back onto her pillow, which was limp and barely stuffed at all. Her neck and stomach muscles hurt like they had never hurt before, even after she had done an hour of yoga or sit-ups in gym.  
"Good."  
"Ohhh," Mrs. Dean cooed, and Tawny tried to lift her head.  
Cries filled the room a few seconds later and Tawny saw a nurse rushing past her to swaddle the baby.  
"Do you want to know the gender?" Mrs. Kohen asked softly.  
"Yes," Tawny whispered, licking her lips. She could barely talk, her mouth was so dry.  
"It's a boy," said Dr. Kohen.  
"Oh my God," said Tawny. Her eyes filled with tears. "Can I see him?"  
"Tawny, no." Mrs. Dean shook her head.  
"Mom, I want to see him."  
Dr. Kohen placed the tiny baby on Tawny's chest and Tawny stroked his cheek. "He's so soft," she said.  
"Tawny, you have to sign the papers now," said Mrs. Dean, "before Paul and Lori come in."  
"Okay." Tawny sniffled. "Okay." She wrapped her arms around her son and Mrs. Dean helped her sit up. Dr. Kohen handed her a pen and she weakly scrawled her name onto a line and tried to remember the date.  
Paul and Lori came in and Lori rushed over to Tawny's bedside, eager to see her son. "He's so beautiful," she said.  
Dr. Kohen smiled. "What's his name?"  
"Oh, it's Tobias," said Paul. He put his arm around Lori. "Right, honey?"  
"Yeah. That's our boy name. Tobias." Lori stroked Tobias' head and then put her hand on Tawny's arm. "Tobias Dean Jenkins."  
"Dean?" said Tawny.  
"Yes," Lori told her. "Do you want to hold him a little longer?"  
"Yeah." Tawny rocked Tobias in her arms. "I've never held such a tiny little thing before."  
"He's a good baby boy," Paul observed.  
Tawny watched a spit bubble rise from Tobias' mouth and he gurgled contentedly.  
"I really shouldn't be doing this," said Tawny, wiping the tears from her eyes with her free hand.  
"No, it's all right," said Lori.  
"You'll send me pictures of him every year, right?" Tawny asked.  
"Twice a year," said Lori.  
"Oh, I want to feed him," Tawny sniffled.  
"I can get you a bottle," Mrs. Dean offered.  
"Not with a bottle." Tawny sighed. "I want to nurse him."  
Lori smiled sympathetically at Tawny. "I wish I could."  
"Tawny, that's not a good idea," Mrs. Dean told her.  
"Yeah. I know."  
"We're going to get him the best formula, though," said Lori, "don't worry."  
"Here. Take him." Tawny held her arms out to Lori. "You're his mother now."  
Lori scooped the tiny baby up in her arms and held him out to Paul. "Look at his face. His eyes are so blue, just like his mother's. Doesn't she have gorgeous eyes, Paul?"  
"They're all swollen now," Tawny laughed, and Mrs. Dean brushed her hair out of her face and wiped her tears with a tissue.  
"My baby boy," said Lori. "Our little baby boy."  
"I know," said Paul.  
Tawny stared at Paul and Lori sadly. "Maybe we should go in another room," Mrs. Dean suggested.  
"No, it's all right. Tobias should go to the nursery now," Lori told her. "We'll go with him." As she and Paul headed out the door, she turned back to Tawny and said, "Thank you so much."  
  
"Look who's here." Mrs. Dean opened the door to Tawny's room and Mr. Dean, Tom, Ren, and Louis stepped inside.  
"Ren!" Tawny cried. "You're back!"  
"I know, I know." Ren rushed over to Tawny and hugged her. "I'm so glad I could see you again. How are you doing?"  
"Okay. Thirsty." Tawny laughed. "How's college?"  
"Don't even ask," said Ren. "But Louis has some news."  
Tawny perked up. "Really?"  
"No, it's nothing," said Louis.  
"Tell her," Ren urged.  
"Yeah, tell me," said Tawny. "I want to know."  
"Yesterday I got an acceptance letter to LMU's engineering school," said Louis. "In Los Angeles. And when I'm out there Dad's going to help me get an agent."  
"Oh my God, that's so great!" said Tawny. "Congratulations!"  
"What about you two?" Ren asked Tom and Tawny. "Getting acceptance letters?"  
"A couple," Tom said modestly.  
"I'm still waiting," said Tawny. She sighed. "I'm trying not to think of that." She instinctively rested her arms on her stomach, which was now just a tiny bump. It felt odd. "I'm really hungry, do you guys want to get something to eat? I'm sick of lying in this hospital bed."  
"Sure, if you can walk," said Louis.  
"Don't worry about it, I'm fine." Tawny swung her legs over the side of the bed and Tom and Ren held her arms as her feet touched the cold floor. "Wow, I feel lighter," she observed, slipping her feet into her shoes. She threw on the HESHS hoodie that was lying on the edge of her hospital bed and walked down the hall with Tom, Louis, and Ren. It felt good to be out of bed again.  
In the cafeteria Tawny ordered macaroni and cheese, which she hadn't eaten in months, and the four sat down at a table to eat.  
"I never imagined I would think this stuff was actually good," said Tawny. "I haven't eaten in like a day."  
"So how are you?" Ren asked her sincerely.  
"I'm fine. Really," said Tawny.  
"Good," said Ren.  
After they had finished eating Tom pulled Tawny into the hallway by the elevators and looked at her seriously.  
"What is it?" Tawny laughed. "You look pathetic."  
Tom led Tawny into the gift shop and picked out a stuffed giraffe. He placed it in her arms awkwardly. "I'll, uh, pay for it later."  
"Okay."  
"Tawny," said Tom. "Can I ask you a question?"  
"Sure."  
"Will you go to prom with me?"  
Tawny was so relieved she couldn't helped laughing. "Of course!" she cried, and kissed Tom on the lips, placing her hands on his cheeks and letting her stuffed animal fall to the floor. Tom wrapped his arms around her waist, which he hadn't been able to do for months.  
Tom bought the giraffe and they walked slowly back to her hospital room together, holding hands. "Thanks for being with me," Tawny told him.  
"I wouldn't miss this for the world," said Tom. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned toward her. "Have you seen the baby?"  
"Tobias," said Tawny. "His name's Tobias. Yeah, I got to hold him. And I'll see him again."  
"That's good."  
"Do you want to see him?" Tawny asked.  
"I don't know."  
"You're his father," Tawny said softly. "Come on, Tom. We'll find the nursery. I think it's on the second floor."  
Tom and Tawny stood at the window to the nursery and peered in.  
"There he is!" Tawny pointed. "There's Tobias."  
"How can you read that placard this far away?" Tom asked.  
"I don't have to read it. I just know it's him."  
"He is a handsome baby," said Tom. "He inherited your looks."  
"I hope he inherited your heart."  
Paul walked up behind Tawny and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned around.  
"You've made my wife and me so happy," said Paul. Tawny could tell he was trying to stay composed. "We love our son so much. I just wanted to thank you." He held out his hand and Tawny shook it.  
"This is my friend Tom," Tawny told him. "You should thank him too."  
"Your friend." Paul's eyes lit up in understanding. "Oh. Hey, Tom, good to meet you." He shook Tom's hand in turn. "And you're a strong man for sticking around, you know?"  
"I wouldn't leave her." Tom put his arm around Tawny's waist.  
"Well, good luck to both of you. I guess you two are graduating soon, huh?" Paul asked.  
"Yes," said Tom.  
"Well, I hope you're both very successful," said Paul. "Tawny, we'll be seeing you later. Lori and I are organizing our things for Tobias' trip home."  
"See you," said Tawny.  
When Paul had walked away Tawny started walking back toward her room.  
"So you have to stay overnight?" Tom asked her.  
"Yeah, it's just policy or whatever. I can go home tomorrow," said Tawny. "My parents haven't even started decorating the Christmas tree yet. I probably have to help them."  
"I'll stay with you," said Tom.  
"No, it's okay. My mom's staying."  
"No," Tom insisted, "I'll stay."  
He slept in a chair in her room all night, and in the morning she awoke to him standing over her bed.  
"Sorry to have frightened you," said Tom. "I just couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful you are." 


	31. Chapter Thirty

Ren sealed her last box of clothes and leaned against her bed frame. She glanced around the room to see if everything had been put away. Meghan's side still had clothes strewn across her mattress and desk.  
"So I hear we won't have the pleasure of your company next year," said Meghan, crossing the room to the refrigerator.  
"No, I'm going to Connecticut," said Ren. "To Yale."  
"Well, have fun with the other dorks," Meghan told her.  
"I will," said Ren.  
"It's too bad you can't go to the end-of-the-year ceremony with Schwarzenegger."  
"Well, next year I'll probably be attending some ceremony with the President or a Prime Minister, so try to stifle your concern," said Ren. She picked up the box of clothes and set it down in the hallway next to all her other stuff. "I hope this will all fit in the plane."  
"I'm sure you'll be able to squeeze your anorexic self in there with it," said Meghan.  
"I hope you'll be able to squeeze your oversized ego in with your stuff," Ren replied.  
"Dork check," said Meghan.  
"Well, there's my taxi. I guess I'm leaving now."  
"Good."  
"Bye. Oh yeah, and delete my number from your cell phone directory because I don't think you'll need to call me from a frat party in the middle of the night asking me to pick you up because you're too drunk to drive back yourself."  
  
The dance floor was filled with students milling about in puffy dresses and neatly pressed suits. Louis picked up an empty plastic cup and dumped a handful of ice into it, his eyes searching the room for anyone he knew. They fell on the back of Tom's head, and he slowly shuffled casually across the floor and stopped right behind Tom, nonchalantly tapping him on the shoulder.  
Tom whirled around, nearly spilling his drink on Louis. "Louis!" he exclaimed.  
"Hey, Louis, come join us," Tawny invited him.  
"Wow, you guys look great," said Louis, noting Tawny's tight-fitting green gown and Tom's neatly combed and styled hair.  
"So do you," Tawny told him.  
"So are you feeling better?" Louis asked her.  
"A little," said Tawny. "I baby-sat for Toby a few weeks ago. Paul and Lori were really nice about everything."  
"Hey Louis, we're going to get some milkshakes after the dance, you want to come?" Tom asked.  
"Yeah, I guess," said Louis.  
"Oh, and invite Twitty too," Tawny suggested. "He's going stag."  
"Oh. Well, I'm not." Louis smiled shyly.  
"Really?" said Tawny. "Who are you with?"  
"My sister hooked me up with one of her friends from last year, her name's Meredith," said Louis. "She's, she's a senior. Nice girl."  
"Well that's cool," said Tawny.  
"Yeah, we kind of went out on a date a few weeks ago," said Louis. "It was cool."  
"Invite her too," said Tawny. "The more the merrier."  
Twitty, Tom, Louis, Tawny, and Meredith sat in a booth at Tex Nagita's Burger Bonanza, sipping milkshakes and eating all the greasy hamburgers and fries they could stuff down their mouths.  
"Wow, I've never been to this place," said Tom.  
"Yeah, me and Louis almost set a record here like five years ago," Twitty told him. "It was pretty sweet. But some British girl beat us."  
Tawny laughed. "I remember you telling me about that. That was crazy." She wiped her hand off on her napkin. "I really shouldn't be eating this stuff, I still have like ten pounds to lose."  
"You look great," Louis told her.  
"Thanks," said Tawny.  
"Yeah, you totally don't need to lose weight," said Meredith. "Are you on a diet or something?"  
"She, um, had a baby a few months ago," said Louis.  
Twitty cleared his throat. "Yeah, um."  
"You guys, it's okay," said Tawny.  
"Wow, really?" Meredith asked.  
"Yeah," said Tawny. "But he's living in San Francisco with his adoptive parents now."  
"Oh, wow, that's amazing," said Meredith. "You must be really strong to have done that."  
Tawny shrugged. "They're good parents."  
"You, are you guys all going to college next year?" Meredith asked.  
"I'll be attending MIT," said Tom.  
"That's crazy," said Meredith. "You must be really smart. I'm going to University of Portland. My aunt lives up there."  
"I'm going to Syracuse University's drama school," said Tawny.  
"I'm going to Long Beach," said Twitty. "All the way."  
"That's cool, you guys. We're like all going to different parts of the country," said Meredith. "Louis and I are really going to miss each other."  
"Yeah, so will Tom and I," said Tawny. "But we might get to see each other every few months."  
"That's so sweet," said Meredith.  
"Me and Louis are gonna hang out on weekends," said Twitty. "It'll be great."  
"Well, thanks for the food, guys, but I gotta take Meredith home," said Louis. "She lives kind of far away, so you know."  
"Hey, Louis, nice hanging out with you, buddy." Twitty slapped hands with Louis.  
"Yeah, thanks for coming, you two. It was nice to meet you, Meredith," said Tawny.  
"We should probably go too," Tom said once Louis and Meredith had left.  
"Yeah, it's getting pretty late." Twitty crumpled up his napkin. "It was really cool hanging with you guys."  
"Yes, it was a very cool experience," Tom agreed.  
"Okay, let's go," said Tawny. "I'm getting kind of tired anyway."  
The three walked to the parking lot together and Twitty slapped Tom on the back and hugged Tawny. "You two take care."  
"I'll see you on Monday," Tawny told him. She and Tom got into her car and she drove toward Tom and his mother's house. 


	32. Chapter ThirtyOne

"Toby!" Tawny exclaimed as the little boy rushed into her arms. She ruffled his dark brown hair and peered into his deep blue eyes, tapping him on the nose as she held him around his waist. "How have you been, little fellow?"  
"I good," Toby replied.  
"That's good, sweetheart." Tawny hoisted Toby onto her waist, grunting. "You're getting so big, did you know that?"  
"I a big boy."  
"Yes, you are. Let's go inside and see Mommy and Daddy." Tawny pulled open the screen door that led from the fenced-in backyard to Paul and Lori's living room. Lori was in the kitchen, making dinner, and Paul was sitting in the living room, apparently constructing a toy car.  
"Mommy, Daddy, Tawny here!" Tobias exclaimed as Tawny walked into the kitchen.  
"Oh, hi, Tawny!" Lori turned away from the stove and Tawny's eyes widened as she saw the bump extending from her midsection.  
"Oh my God, you're pregnant?" Tawny cried.  
Lori smiled and rubbed her belly. "Yup, I'm due in October."  
"Oh my gosh, congratulations!" Tawny held Toby with one arm and put her other arm around Lori. "That's so great for you guys."  
"I know. So how has school been?" Lori put down the spoon she was stirring the spaghetti sauce with and wandered over to the kitchen table, carefully arranging the place settings.  
Tawny set Toby on the floor and followed Lori. "It's been pretty good. I can't believe I've already gotten through an entire year. So how are you guys doing?"  
"We're doing well," said Lori. "Oh, I just took Toby to his eighteen- month check-up yesterday and he's doing really well. Getting teeth in like crazy, talking up a storm, you know."  
"Twuck!" Toby cried, toddling across the floor to dive into his father's lap and pick up the completed truck.  
"So are you going to take Toby?" Paul called to Tawny.  
"Take him?" Tawny asked.  
"Yes, remember, we discussed this on the phone briefly," said Lori. "Toby can spend the night at your house for the weekend if you want him to. Paul and I were going to spend some alone time."  
"Oh," said Tawny. "Gosh, I don't know, I haven't seen him in two months."  
"He really loves you, though," said Lori. "We keep a picture of you on the shelf above his crib. He talks about you all the time."  
"Ohhh." Tawny put her hand over her heart. "Well, I'd love to take him, I just don't know how to take care of a baby."  
"It's okay," Lori assured her. "You'll do great. You can figure out how to change diapers, right? Toby's not quite potty trained yet."  
"Okay," said Tawny.  
"And he's pretty much weaned from his bottle, but he can drink about five ounces of cow's milk a day. And just let him pick off your plate, he eats almost anything. I'm sure your parents know how to take care of little ones, right?"  
"I guess."  
"Don't be nervous, Tawny. Your instinct will kick in." Lori packed a few toys into a bad and placed it on the floor. "You can just take those home with you and you'll do fine."  
"What time does he go to bed?" Tawny asked.  
"Oh, don't worry about that. He usually goes down around nine. Bad of us, I know, but he's a good sleeper," said Lori. "And if you have any questions you can call."  
Paul placed Toby into his high chair and sat down at the dinner table. Lori served the spaghetti and salad and they all ate, and then Paul installed Toby's car seat into Tawny's car and she drove off to Sacramento.  
"Tawny," Toby said from the backseat of Tawny's car. "We go pway?"  
"Yes, we're going to play a lot," Tawny assured him. "With my friends."  
"Yay!" said Toby.  
As soon as Tawny got home she took Toby and his necessities inside and sat him on the kitchen counter, supporting him with one hand, as she called Tom. "I have someone here who wants to meet you," Tawny said over the phone.  
"Fwiend! Fwiend!" Toby exclaimed.  
"What was that?" Tom asked on the other line.  
"Just come over to my house," Tawny told him. "You'll see."  
Tawny walked out onto her driveway with Toby in her arms as Tom pulled into the driveway. Tom's eyes lit up as he ran toward Toby and Tawny. "Is this."  
"Tobias Jenkins, meet Tom Gribalski," said Tawny, placing Toby firmly in Tom's arms. "Your father," she whispered.  
"Oh, wow, you're really cute," said Tom.  
"He has your nose!" said Tawny.  
"Toby nosy," said Toby.  
"Hey, you want to take a walk?" Tawny asked. "We haven't done that in a long time."  
"Sure. Does he have a stroller or anything?" Tom asked.  
"Um . well, he can walk with us," said Tawny. "He's a good walker."  
Tom held Toby's left hand and Tawny held his right hand and they walked slowly down the block. When Toby got tired Tom placed him on his shoulders. By the time they got back to Tawny's house it was completely dark and Toby was shaking with cold. Tawny rushed inside the house and wrapped a blanket around Toby, cuddling him in her arms. "I'm sorry, babe. My God, what was I thinking?"  
"Tawny?" Mr. Dean emerged from the den and raised his eyebrow. "Well who's this little fellow?" he cooed.  
"I Toby," said Toby, his teeth chattering.  
"He's cold," Mr. Dean observed.  
"I know, I'm stupid," said Tawny.  
"No you're not," Tom told her. "I'll make him some hot cocoa."  
"Wait, can he have that?" Tawny asked.  
"Sure," said Tom. "Everyone loves hot cocoa, prepared Mother's way."  
Tawny laughed.  
Mr. and Mrs. Dean couldn't stop playing with Toby that night, even after Tom had gone home and Tawny was sitting in the living room trying to read a book. Toby wandered over to her and collapsed in her lap.  
"Toby's really tired," said Tawny. "We should go to bed now."  
"All right, sweetie, good night," said Mrs. Dean.  
As Tawny carried Toby up to her room, she heard her mother say, "She really is good with him."  
"I know. I'm so proud of her," said Mr. Dean. "She's handled all this so well."  
Tawny changed Toby into his pajamas and then threw her pillow onto the floor and crawled into bed cuddling Toby. She flicked off the light and lay in bed, listening to Toby's steady breaths and feeling his heart pounding against her arm.  
  
"So you're liking college so far?" Ren asked Louis. They were eating lunch together in the kitchen. Ren had just returned home from summer school at Yale, and Louis had been home, working a part-time job at a grocery store, for a month.  
"It's better than I thought it would be," said Louis.  
"Good. See, aren't you glad you gave it a try?"  
"Don't lecture me, Ren." Louis took a huge bite out of his sandwich.  
Ren laughed. "Let's just enjoy our vacation, okay? And try not to fight this time like we did all last summer."  
"Yeah, that was pretty funny how Mom grounded you and you were nineteen years old."  
Ren rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me." She slapped the table. "Well, I should go. I have to fill out the forms for my internship with Senator Perkins."  
"Good luck," Louis told her.  
As Ren ran upstairs to her room the phone rang and Louis picked it up. Meredith was on the other line.  
"We still on for Saturday?" she asked.  
"Yeah. It's a triple date now. Twitty's bringing his new girlfriend from Long Beach."  
"Wow, um, okay," said Meredith.  
"Are you all right with that?" Louis asked.  
"Sure, I guess."  
"Good. I'll see you at the Country Cottage at seven."  
  
Tom, Tawny, Louis, Meredith, Twitty, and Twitty's new girlfriend Dakota sat around a large table, a single candle illuminating their faces in the dark restaurant.  
"So I just joined a church group and they really emphasize prayer before a meal," Meredith announced. "So you guys, I think we should totally do it."  
"Yeah, sure, we should be thankful for our sustenance," Tom agreed.  
"Do we have to pray to God?" Twitty asked.  
"If you want to," Meredith told him. "Let's go around the table. I'll start. God, thank you for the food you give us. Amen. Louis?" She squeezed Louis' hand.  
"God, um, thanks for my girlfriend and my education," Louis said.  
Tawny stood up and held out her water glass. "I just want to say that I'm really thankful for being able to maintain five really important long-distance relationships. For the past year I've had a really close relationship with my parents, and Louis, and Twitty, and I talk to Tom all the time . and my son. I love you all." She smiled and sat down and kissed Tom, and the rest of the table politely applauded.  
  
Tawny and Tom walked toward Tom's car after dinner was over. Tawny let out a breath and pulled her jacket closer around her. "That was a really nice night."  
"Indeed," said Tom.  
"I'm glad we could get together this summer. I mean, I know next summer you'll probably have some apprenticeship with Bill Gates or something."  
"Huh. I wish," Tom laughed. "Would you like to come home with me for awhile? Mother seemed lonely tonight."  
"I really can't," said Tawny. "My parents are making me help with our Fourth of July family barbecue thing tomorrow. I have to get up really early."  
"Oh. Well, I'll see you later then."  
"Yeah, sure. I'll call you."  
They climbed into Tom's car and drove in silence. Tom pulled into Tawny's driveway and Tawny said, "You can come in for a minute."  
In Tawny's room Tom paced around her desk while Tawny tried to find a CD to put in her stereo.  
"Maybe this is too weird," Tom said after awhile.  
"No, it's okay." Tawny sat on her bed and patted the seat beside her. "Sit down. You haven't been up to my room for months."  
"Well, I thought we were trying to avoid things like that."  
"No. Tom, we're nineteen. We shouldn't be afraid of intimacy anymore. Come here." Tawny kissed Tom softly on the lips. "I'm not as immature as I was a few years ago." She took off her jacket and tossed it on the floor.  
"No, Tawny, we're not going to do this." Tom sat up straight and pulled away from Tawny. "Please."  
"It's okay," said Tawny. "We won't do anything you don't want to do." She lay Tom down on her bed and snuggled into his arms. "Let's just lay here."  
Tom stroked Tawny's hair. "Am I still your boyfriend?" he asked.  
"Of course," said Tawny.  
"Look, Tawny . you know, we've never said . we've never said we loved each other," Tom blurted out.  
Tawny was silent for a few moments. She could feel Tom's heart beating, and she thought of Tobias. Then she thought of Louis. As she nuzzled deeper into his chest, she murmured, "Why should we have to say it out loud?" 


End file.
